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28 Year Old Virgin

8 August 2009 5 Comments

I was surfing the net and ended up looking through some Dating Q & A on Askmen.com. If you haven’t heard about it, well it’s a great website for male advice that gets millions of hits per month. It’s not as personal as my blog but it does have a lot more content. Anywho, I was reading a question that some 28 year old virgin named Al had asked to Donald Zimmer (AskMen’s Dating expert) and not to sound like a hater but I think that Zimmer did not do a sufficient job in answering the man’s question at all. The question went as follows:

 I’m a month away from turning 28 and I’m still a virgin in every sense of the word. The most I’ve ever done is made out and even that was a decade ago. I never had intercourse and have never given or received oral sex. Is it too late to lose my virginity or even meet that special someone?


Zimmer’s answer can be found here. In my opinion the answer wasn’t a good one at all, and it even a received a comment that went like: “I love how Zimmer suggests that anyone who is in their late 20’s and still a virgin needs professional help. Who is he to judge anyone? Zimmer needs to get off his soapbox and shut his mouth.”

So I decided to take it upon myself to help Al (or anyone else who is in this position) with his situation and answer the question in more detail than Zimmer.

Firstly, being a 28 year old virgin isn’t that bad. Well, it has a negative vibe due to our cultural beliefs that men should ideally lose their virginity when they are 16–and the younger, the better. But in fact it all depends on a man’s values. However, for those who are questioning themselves and see it as a problem should just do one of the following things.

Re-evaluate Your Standards

It doesn’t matter how you look, the real question is how she looks. If you’re a virgin then I’m assuming you didn’t have way too much experience talking and flirting with girls, and it could all be because your standards are way to high for your experience. If you’re looking for a Megan Fox-type to come along then it may be time to change your standards. We all want the perfect girl, but it may be better to try out a few girls, because that’s the only way you can find Mrs. Perfect–trial and error. I’m sticking to one of my previous post’s stories that you shouldn’t completely fuck anything out there, but go out and look for decent girls that are down to have fun.

You’re Still a Man, So Act like One

It’s never too late to lose your virginity and you’re not a lesser man if you still haven’t even though it may feel like it at times. Guys who gets lots of girls can be acting a lot more cocky and sure of themselves, and ones who don’t tend to act a little repressed. The fact that those guys who get lots of girls act cocky is the act same reason why they get girls. And the ones that act shy or embarrassed due to lack of sex aren’t getting any due to the reason that they act shy. It’s time to flip your mindset to believing that it doesn’t matter that you’re not getting women and if you act like it doesn’t bother you and you’re as mentally strong as anyone else and an Alpha-Male even without the sexy entourage of women then you’ll see a change in how women begin to treat you. Women want a confident, strong-minded man to be with and if you act like one then that’s when women will be attracted to you.

Am I Ready?

Pre-marital sex isn’t for everyone. There are people that are just not mature enough to handle it. The fact that Al came out and admitted that he believed there was some problem in him not having sex even though he wanted to is the first step in acknowledging that you’re mature enough and ready for sex. But each man needs to ask themselves if they believe they are mature enough for women and sex. I personally know some twenty year olds who aren’t ready for woman and don’t even show interest in them. I personally feel the need that I need to have sex on occasion, but it doesn’t seem to bother others, they would rather smoke some weed and play video games. So it all depends on a man’s maturity and desire to have to sex. If you’re ready though, then really figure out that you’re mentally mature enough, and then go out and try different approaches to different girls. Have a “What’s the worst that can happen?” mentality and try to talk to and flirt with as many decent girls as you can and I guarantee that your virginity will be stolen from you in a matter of weeks or even days.

And to answer if he isn’t too late to find that special one, then I’d say the best way to know is to try out as many women as possible. Because I really don’t see too many happy couples coming out of a sexually inexperienced man finding his love in his first or second sexual partner, just because they’ll eventually want to explore unknown territory in other women. So my suggestion is to go out and have safe sex with as many decent to hot women as possible before settling down.

Hope that helps.


  • Anette said:

    What a nice alternative answer to this 28 yr old man’s question. I like the way you respect his situation for what it is and don’t tell him there’s something wrong with him. I know people who did not have their first sexual experience until they were in their 40s. I also know people who were that old and who waited till after the wedding. And they’re fine!

    The thing is that a human body is what it is. Each one is wired for sex and with the right partner everything will be just fine! It’s much like a female friend of mine who got pregnant when she was what we consider too old, and she said: “I feel too old for this, but it’s not like I’m asking my body to do something it isn’t made for.”
    .-= Anette´s last blog ..Can I Kill with Joy? =-.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Anette: Thanks. That’s a great example you supplied.
    In fact I respect him for having the minerals to come out and ask for help with his situation and that’s why I felt that Zimmer didn’t supply a good enough answer for a question that is so hard for some to ask.

    Reply to Comment

  • IamDavid said:

    Sex though, does play a big part in developing a mature personality. I am curious as to why he struggles so much with women. I think zimmers answer was pathetic as well.
    .-= IamDavid´s last blog ..Men Have a Type, Women Have an Attitude =-.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    IamDavid: Yeah, I definitely agree. Thanks for stopping by, check out other posts if you like. By the way, I liked your site as well. Keep it up. Cheers.

    Reply to Comment

  • Henway said:

    Great Answer, and you’re right. Saying someone needs professional help isn’t helping them at all

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