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5 Things to Learn From Hank Moody

5 November 2009 37 Comments

For those who may not know, Hank Moody is the main character of the show Californication, and if you really want I gave a short review about him and the show in this link. Now for those who do know something about Hank, is that he is the smoothest person you’ll ever see with the ladies on television these days. I noticed five characteristics about him that distinguishes him from many, many men in society who try to get women. And in all honesty, even when you read books about “the game” and being a pro at the pick-up game, I really tend to laugh at guys who take that too seriously, because the truth is, simplicity is key. In those other books or shows or websites on picking up women, they give advice on making you into a fucking tool who thinks every word through and does things that women expect them to do. And it may work for a night or so, but then it just gets extremely boring, and I noticed that it tends to work only on the most shallow and sluttiest girls out there without any broader concept on life except thinking about where to pencil in her next nail polishing appointment. And those girls are fun sometimes, but when you try to approach a more intelligent woman with those same antics, you end up failing miserably. What people like Hank Moody are able to do, nonetheless, is get women of all types. And his secret? Well, here’s what I picked up from his characteristics that I think can be easily applied and you don’t have to turn yourself into a robot, but instead feel more free than ever before during your approach to women.

1. Being a Child is Always More Fun

Being an adult sucks. You always take things seriously, you never have any fun, and your world tends to circle around money and other responsibilities. And just like men, women also get tired of this uptight styled life and need to unwind. And what do women look for when they need to unwind? They need a man who can bring her into a child’s world where nothing ever mattered and fun was the most important thought on their mind. Those same women end up marrying formal, uptight businessmen, but for fun they fall back on men that don’t take life seriously and don’t judge them based on what they say or how they act and just accept and encourage child-like behaviour. Hank is one of those people that gives the women in his life an ability to feel free and do what they always wanted as a child that they couldn’t do as an adult. Some adults try to suppress most vices, but Hank just pushes those limits. Drink some wine, sneak into your boss’s home office and sleep with your own TA on his desk. Live free, live happy.

2. Just Don’t Give a Fuck

Not giving a fuck takes a lot of balls, and that’s one thing that’s crucial in getting women. People are so terrified of making fools of themselves that they actually end up not doing things they really want. I believe that it should be more embarrassing to hold yourself back from doing something you want and to act “cool” (by that I mean lame) than to be free enough to do exactly what you want. Don’t wait around hoping the beautiful woman at the bar will come up to you, but go right ahead and say something to her. Don’t restrict yourself from urges–that doesn’t mean all urges, you should identify some limits, and a good indicator in most cases is the legal code. In an episode, Hank didn’t appreciate a guy talking on his cellphone while sitting in the movie theater, so after asking the man to get off the phone, the man didn’t listen, so he grabbed the cell out of his hand and threw it across the cinema. This is the idea of not giving a fuck yet having the balls to back it up that I’m talking about. And women just dig that shit.

3. No One Wants to Hear That Depressive Shit

When you’re with a woman, don’t bore her with your sensitive problems. Women don’t wanna get down and dirty and fuck a man who they pity. Not giving a fuck or being childish doesn’t mean you have to be a pussy, you really need to hide those emotional problems you may have for your shrink, because when you’re with a woman on a first date or even second, I advise against putting your cards out on the table and telling her your life story and how your mom didn’t breast feed you enough growing up. Hank hides all his self-loathing and depressive personality inside of himself and only shares it through his literature and sometimes to Karen, the woman he loves and shares a long history with. Women want to forget problems when they’re with men, not think about new ones, so at least give them that, because I for one as a man don’t wanna hear women’s problems. We’re all selfish by nature, so take that note as advice not to inflict your problems on others.

4. Funny People are Fun

Way too many men over-think when they’re talking to women. Don’t! Say the first things that come into your mind, they tend to be the funniest. And if you can make a woman laugh, it’s the biggest guarantee to get her into bed. Women love to fuck men that can make them laugh. But this really all depends on your sense of humour and if you have been blessed with a good one then you’re lucky. However, if you don’t have a good sense of humour then just try to focus on the other 4 things I mentioned in this post. Either way, men shouldn’t think about to what they think the best thing to say in a situation would be, because that just tends to put them into awkward situations. Hank says some of the most ridiculous shit you’d ever hear that the women can’t even process some of the times, and that just bumps up his chances.

5. Assholes Prosper

We all know that nice guys finish last, and it’s the goddamned truth anyway you turn it. Being an asshole takes skills though, because a straight up asshole who just takes nothing and no one into consideration due to his own self-loathing ends up a lonely old man. But if you are able to know how far you can go and what you can get away with when talking to women in the things you say or do then you will master getting any woman you want. Most the time women will sleep with an asshole, but will end up hating him in the long-run unless the man is skillful enough to flip things around and be able to be serious with her as soon as he sees that he’s gone too far. In one episode Hank really fucked up with one nice woman who he embarrassed in front of others and she ended up walking out on him. Then she was talked into seeing him again and he was able to flip things around so well by applying other principles mentioned above that they ended up in a long relationship until she broke up with him when a man she loved broke up with his wife. They stayed friends though.

6. Genuinely Love and Respect Women (BONUS advice from the comments – tip of the hat goes off to ‘Moods’)

There’s one thing that’s so obvious about Hank Moody that we seem to miss it completely: he loves women. He has his fun with them sure, but he also shows sincere interest in them and wants to learn everything about them. He listens. He hears them out. He embraces their perfections and their imperfections and he does not condemn them for having any. Though he may be an asshole at times, it’s all in good fun and he makes sure they know it. To get women to like you, you have to show women that you love and respect them. You don’t have to be IN love with them but you have to simply love them. He flirts with just about any woman without discriminating, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little flirting – it’s a healthy way to increase confidence while making women feel good thanks to your attentiveness.

So those are the 5 things (plus 1) I picked up from Hank Moody that I think are real important in the way he acts that help him succeed so well with women in the show. If you think I’ve missed any, leave your ideas in the comment section.

37 Comments »

  • Gerry said:

    That’s a great analyzis. I love that show and hank is crazy with the ladies. I laughed real hard reading this post but i know that most of it is true. Keep writing man, you really have a talent for it!

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Gerry: Thanks, and you know I definitely will keep writing!

    Reply to Comment

  • Dan said:

    Well said. I know from personal experience that #5 works really well. Hank Moody also has the ability to think quickly on his feet; as shown in the episode where he sneaks into the house, steals the dog, and grabs the painting in the process. He then uses this to his advantage to make up for his mistakes (vomiting on the painting in the first place).

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Dan: Most definitely. That was a hilarious episode. Thinking on his feet is a talent that takes years to develop actually. Those who can master it though tend to get success in almost every aspect of life, not only women. But with women it works wonders when you’re able to make quick decisions on the spot.

    Reply to Comment

  • Brett said:

    Wow, nice post!
    I finally found someone whom I can relate to. I like women, and I like to have sex with them, a lot. However, being horny doesn’t make me a player, or even a pickup artist. Thanks for calling pickup artists out as the low-self-esteemed, boring, one-dimensional, “fuck-tools” that they are. I sleep with women because I find them attractive, not because I have some chip on my shoulder that I am trying to get rid of by putting notches on my belt.

    Finally some advice for self-respecting guys!

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Brett: Thanks man, I’m happy you’re liking the blog. That’s exactly right about how men should just go ahead and sleep with women they find attractive and have a good time with it rather than geting a pat on the back for it. If you’d like you can subscribe to my RSS Feed and always get the latest posts.

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  • Lasith said:

    Hank Moody is probably my most favorite TV character. And I’m half afraid that I’m going to end up like the dude someday :p And I’m half excited.

    The opening scene of him getting felated by a nun! As soon as I saw that I knew this was the TV series for me!

    My tribute to Hank Moody —

    The 15 Most Memorable Quotes of Hank Moody

    http://backdoormag.com/the-15-most-memmorable-quotes-of-hank-moody.html

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @L: I checked out your blog, nice theme you’re using haha. Also nice quotes these, Hank is great. He’s based on Bukowski, but damn they made the character much smoother than the real man behind the scene. Can’t wait for the new season!

    Reply to Comment

    Lasith Reply:

    Hey Robby,

    Thanks a bunch 🙂 And it’s not exactly a blog, more a Rock ‘n’ Roll lifestyle magazine 🙂

    And I know right! Who thought Moulder could be Hank Moody!!

    Reply to Comment

  • 5 Things to Learn From Hank Moody | The Backdoor said:

    […] Today The Backdoor brings you the 5 things to learn from Hank Moody, when it comes to picking up women. Article courtesy of ‘Ask Robby G’ from http://www.shiteilike.com. […]

  • Kiran said:

    Okay information. I think you’re missing the most important thing: Connection with women. The underneath the radar, soft spoken, non-aggressive tone, direct eye contact, his use of language, and his understanding of the FEMININE of the woman (he is a writer/artist). This is what makes him irresistible to women.

    He is not the tough alpha male dude, or the money making provider, or the drunk frat boy. He speaks the language of women. One way to get there is to experience cultures, and read literature and a variety of subjects and get in tune with one’s own feelings and the feelings of others, and then express them in a non-verbal way when talking to a woman. After wall, women are driven by feeling and Hank is quietly aware of every subtle behavior she makes.

    In other words he is a master of human behavior, and his slight feminine tendencies fits right in with women.

    Reply to Comment

  • Jersey Guy said:

    You forgot his VOICE TONALITY.

    That’s the primary way he shows his coolness. He always keeps it cool, no matter what he’s facing.

    Reply to Comment

  • Jersey Guy said:

    My bad, you there is also something else:

    He’s ABSOLUTE LACK FOR VALIDATION OR ACCEPTANCE from other people.

    He couldn’t care less if it’s politically or socially incorrect or whatever the fuck it is. He just is.

    Reply to Comment

  • 5 said:

    Hank Moody is a role model to all types of guys, mainly those who wish they were someone else. The guy is right, modern day writing has far too much emphasis on the internet, blogging etc. We’re living in an ‘LOL’ world where people are losing touch of the fact that actually talking to people in real, full on English may get you somewhere, and it may eventually make that one person, the one that really matters, Laugh Out Loud. Just remember…its all about her…

    Reply to Comment

    True dat Reply:

    That is so fucking true. It is all about her.

    Reply to Comment

  • agent57 said:

    I think you left out the most important thing. 6: Be a fictional character in a universe where the women are written to be attracted to you.

    You get that one down, you’re set.

    Reply to Comment

    jswa Reply:

    most insightful comment yet

    Reply to Comment

  • Den said:

    I think its impossible to become exactly like Hank. Because its too controversial. And his character is the mix of advantages of any guy. Isnt it?

    Reply to Comment

  • Fuckthisshit said:

    #4 is soo fucking true….

    Reply to Comment

  • moods said:

    Hey guys!
    You missed the most important thing. Hank loves women. Hes interested in them for real. He respects them. He does not feel like hes worth more of them at all.
    I used to get ALL the girls when I was younger and at some point it stopped. First I thought it was because of gaining weight or shit but then I realized I lost respect for girls. I was working at a club these days and only getting to know those more simple kinds of girls which lead to my loosing love for them.
    All of the above is true. Which simply means that you will have more fun in life if you do not take yourself, others or anything too damn serious. But more important than that: love and respect women and theyll love you for it.
    Respecting them does not mean to crawl up their asses. You can still put in some funny stuff and even bad jokes on women. But they feel how you really think about them.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Moods: Hey! Yeah, I agree with you completely! I like how you put the last part: “Respecting them does not mean to crawl up their asses. You can still put in some funny stuff and even bad jokes on women. But they feel how you really think about them.” This is very important, along with the idea that you genuinely have to be interested in women and love them. Because Hank honestly does love every aspect about women, be it their perfections and imperfections. Thanks for your comment.

    Reply to Comment

  • Haha said:

    lol, of course what hank does work. It’s a tv show! :p some guy is deciding what hank is gonna say and how the women react to it, although those 5 things are correct, the result that hank gets is solely based on what the writers WANTS it to be 🙂 but yeah those are good rules to follow and they will make you more attractive to women. if you’ve read the game, you’d see all of the 5 rules in there as well

    Reply to Comment

  • Californication | Jiayun Chen/Karen said:

    […] Please excuse my language here: I searched “how many women hank moody fuck” in google, an interesting article came up the first link and I find it very true and here I share with you: 5 Things to Learn From Hank Moody. […]

  • Burnfish said:

    I KNOW that all of these points are valid. I sing in a band, so like Mr. Moody, I have a touch of fame. The easiest way to land a beautiful woman is to just be yourself; say whatever comes to mind, as long as it is not totally ridiculous. Women of all ages are attracted to men who don’t act like the ‘chase’ is the most important part of the dance. And here is the main point, which has been mentioned above: YOU HAVE TO TRULY HAVE GREAT RESPECT AND LOVE FOR WOMEN! If you do not, it will be very apparent, and you will FAIL.

    I have acted like this in front of a group of people, friends, and they cannot believe how well I do.

    This is one of the best series on television. Guys, wake up! Follow Mr. Moody’s lead and you too can have success with a mother and daughter…Ha!

    Reply to Comment

  • Californication Quotes said:

    Be present in the moment while with women. It’s ok to talk about past and future for awhile but don’t get stuck in it.

    And remember: “A morning of awkwardness is far better than a night of loneliness” – Hank Moody

    Reply to Comment

  • TS said:

    I don’t think that’s true about nice guys finishing last. What does nice mean, anyway? It’s a vague, nothingness word. What people are really saying is that dull, cautious guys overly concerned with bourgeois decorum finish last. Hank may not be “nice”, but he’s at heart a good man, his heart is in the right place. And he’s a giver, he actually likes giving, it’s not just all about himself. And he’s heroic and will put himself at risk for his friends and loved ones. Sounds nice to me.

    Reply to Comment

  • TS said:

    This is actually a pretty damn good piece, though. Well written, succinctly stated, with no blog-esque wankery. That’s rare.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @TS: I agree with you, but I think many understand what I mean when I say that “nice” guys don’t prosper. Having a good heart is one thing, but doing every little thing a woman asks for takes away from the mystery. Thanks for the kind words.

    Reply to Comment

  • Benja said:

    Fuck I wanna be that person so much, it’s a shame I can’t really not giving a fuck and I can’t really be an asshole. Too nice and polite for that shit

    Reply to Comment

  • Africanlegend said:

    I love Hank, he is probably my hero but I think you have over-simplified his character. Hank is definitely a fun loving man child and that makes him fun and appealing to women but Hank is not an asshole per se, nor does he not give a fuck. He does, in fact he is a hopeless romantic and a causality of his own childish flaws. His only genuine asshole move was sleeping with the director of “A crazy little thing called love’s wife” but even so he did fuck up his book lol. Hank mostly says what’s on his mind at all times but in many ways that makes him genuine.

    Hank is a hopelessly flawed romantic and he treats women well and has some concept of morality but he just manages to fuck this up sometimes in the most improbably of ways i.e the mouth rapist incident….

    Google “How to be like Hank Moody” and arrived here, good stuff man…..hehe.

    Reply to Comment

    Africanlegend Reply:

    Oh and Hank ALWAYS tells women his Karen sob story and tells them he is emotionally unavailable and it turns them on……

    Reply to Comment

  • Just some kid said:

    Thank you for this post. when ever im confused with myself i just look at this post espically #4 really helped me out in opening up. this may not be much but yeahhhhhhhhhh i appreciate this post (:

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Just Some Kid: And I appreciate your comment! It’s these sort of comments that remind me why I continue to write!

    Reply to Comment

  • Markson said:

    First of all I would like to congratulate you, Robby G for this straight-to-the-point post. I’m a writer (sometimes) as well and I’m constantly struggling to fulfill the urge to make shit happen. It helps me with the writing since I only tend to write what I know and live, and also I’m a college student on my twenties, so… you know.

    Needless to say I’m this huge Californication fan, having watched every single season over 5 or 6 times. I do it because of the excellent writing, acting, soundtrack, way of life. But mostly because I’m constantly analyzing Hank’s persona.

    I came across this post a couple of years ago on a Google search and after reading it I realized what excited me so much about the male/female relationships on the show and why I kept watching it: I wasn’t trying to be Hank Moody, I was trying to be a better me. And I then used my personal analysis and the topics on your post in order to channel the Moody charisma into my life. And damn if it worked. Not only you start enjoying so much more talking to strange women, they enjoy it too. It’s not a matter of how much pussy you eat, it’s the psychologic boner you both get when talking to each other, and to feel it you must love and respect women, all of them, though it is much more fun when you also are the other 5 topics! With THAT kind of warmup I once got a girl to say it was the best sex of her life (she came like 5 times). In women, the orgasm is mostly mental, so don’t be so focused on the pickup game itself and turn your conversation into a rainbow of moods and swings. Anyway, I think I’m getting a little off topic, so I’ll just move on.

    Since over two years have passed, I ask you: do you still keep watching the show? In these last seasons you must’ve gotten a whole different range of insights in Hank’s life, if there anything you’d care to add/change?

    Again thank you Robby G, this is a breakthrough post on your blog, and fuck yes you should keep writing! It’s not cheap stuff, top shelf.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Markson: Thanks for the kind words, I still do watch Californication and though I feel like it’s going a little down hill, Hank is still great and his character has developed in many ways.
    I’d add that he has a high capacity to forgive and through everything knows that it’s best to be honest with women than to keep them on a string giving them unfulfillable hope.

    Reply to Comment

  • AlekNovy said:

    So I just got the first season to see what this show is about, and I googled analysis on Hank.

    Here’s what nobody is mentioning

    In this fictional universe Hank lives, women are CHARMING, CHARISMATIC and SEXUALLY bold.

    I mean heck, most of the time THEY approach HIM before he’s done anything except exist. So all this talk about his personality makes no sense to me, since the women decide to fuck him before he ever opens his mouth.

    He walks around, some super charming and charismatic woman approaches HIM all bold and sexual, and he just accepts her offer.

    Reply to Comment

  • From the Editor: How Pop Culture Puts Public Sector Work in Context | Publicyte.com said:

    […] I don’t care. I love it. I love it Hank Moody style. […]


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