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Another Chance for Him, Another Chance for Her

22 April 2010 2 Comments

After leaving my ex this past summer and feeling stronger but still in alot
of pain, I gave in and met up with him again. It was wonderful and we talked
everything out and he told me he wants to get back together, work on our
relationship, loves me, thinks about me all of the time, will do anything to
fix us. He wanted to make sure that I still loved him and wanted him back as
well. So I agreed as long as we took it slow. Now he texts me and calls me
to tell me that he is scared, unsure needs time to sort things out and by
the way he had met someone before he met up with me, but it is nothing serious
and that I am the only one that really loves him and to please give him
time. OMG I feel like such a fool. Especially when he wanted to know when my
lease was up and was looking for wedding rings again. What just happened?
Did I get played for his ego? Emotional whiplash. I just wished I could stop
loving him. I am afraid of what to do when he calls again. Do I take his
calls or ignore them so I can try to heal all over again?


Not accepting his calls will just not work, because even if he isn’t sincere about getting back together, you need to closure. If he was able to make you feel the way you do just with a simple call after so many months since you two broke up, it means you are will always have him somewhere in the back of your mind. You emotions currently controlling your decisions and you need to sort things out rationally. Ask yourself, Why would he call you back and start telling you all of these things? Is he really interested in getting back together or is he capable of playing on your emotions to boost his own ego or for some other alternative motive?

Eyes On Me
What Are His Motives?

You mentioned that he called you and told you he wants to get back together and is willing to fix any problems you may have. Then he said that he is scared and needs to tie off loose ends such as the woman he met before that time he tried getting you back. Men who have moved past their ex most of the time do not call their ex and try to get back together when they have someone else in their lives. They tend to get back together with their ex when they are either lonely or do in fact miss their ex. Of course think about one more fact: Was he bitter when you broke-up and did he want something from you that you did not agree on giving him, maybe something of financial worth that he will honestly be willing to create this entire bluff to get back at you? I ask this because you mentioned he was interested in when you lease ends, which is odd you would mention it unless it had some sort of real meaning to him.

Either way, analyze his motives, but if there is nothing too serious there that he would create this big scene out of then I honestly think he is sincere about his emotions this time. He is not happy with any other women he has met since you and is willing to break it off with the current woman he is seeing because he wants to be with you.

Win/Win

Answering his calls and giving him a chance may not only be a good thing because he may actually be interested in fixing any problems you two have had, but also it may bring closure this time if he really hasn’t changed. It is really important that you have a new outlook this time around. Do not think that he played a trick on you and fooled you into feeling for him again. Be a little sceptical of his motives this time around and do not be as open until you are comfortable around him once again. If things don’t work out, use this as an opportunity to receive closure. The problem when breaking up with someone you still have feelings for is that you create an image of the person in your head as someone great and only your happiest moments stick out in your mind. However this time, it is very important that you do not allow yourself to cling onto this false image of him, but instead look out for your own needs more. He’s the one to reach out to you and he’s the one who said he is willing to fix any problems, so let him. Answer his calls, be friendly, but do not give him the satisfaction that you are crying over him and he is constantly in your mind. Strenghten up a bit and be a little indifferent to him but allow him to get his last chance to show you his improvements. Even if it doesn’t work out, you will be able to have the closure you always needed, and then it will be easier to move on next time… of course if there will be a next time. Hopefully, he has learned to appreciate you more and cannot emotionally afford to be away from you.

2 Comments »

  • Joy said:

    Thank you so much for your insight and wisdom. You have helped me so very much to feel better and probably get the first nights sleep since this occurred. I am so glad that you were available to get back to me so fast and your words were honest and soothing. I really needed a man’s point of view for all of my girlfriends, who I love, do not have much positive things to say regarding men.

    Thank you again and I will take what you said to me and finally be able to logically go ahead. I will take it one day at a time, continue finishing my degree this year and see what happens 🙂 If we are meant to be together for the right reasons it will be.

    Thank you again so much for your time. I hope more people find your website and I will spread the word about you.

    Take care and God bless,

    Joy

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Joy: Thank you for the kind words and I’m really glad I could have helped. And trust me, most of us men really aren’t worth losing sleep over 😉

    Reply to Comment


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