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Approaching a Woman

4 December 2008 6 Comments

Approaching a woman is probably the hardest thing for a man to do, especially a good looking woman. For some reason, men tend to get nervous around good looking women, as if they were some form of royalty that’ll cut off your nuts if you slip up and say something wrong. It’s funny actually how sometimes men can be more sensitive and self-conscious than women. “What if she doesn’t find my jokes funny? What if she thinks I’m creepy? What if she has a boyfriend? What if…”

Fuck what ifs. You gotta look at this the way it is. You see a woman that looks like she’s worth your time and now it’s time for her interview. That’s it. It’s not you on trial when you’re approaching a woman, it’s her that’s interviewing for you. Now I’m not trying to say that you should act like a prick who has better things to do with his time at that very moment, because let’s face it, wherever you are when you see that fine woman, whether it’s a bar, a club, or a lounge, you’re there to pick up a woman. So now that you’ve filtered through a bunch of uglies and seen one you like, it’s time to move in.

Don’t Think Twice

That’s most important. Once you hesitate and tell yourself, “Maybe I shouldn’t go up to her, there might be a nicer one somewhere here that I can find.” Once that happens, you not only lose the opportunity to talk to her, because you’ve allowed enough time for your brain to start working on those annoying What Ifs, but you’re also wasting time. Seeing a good-looking woman at a club is like going fucking hunting… hmm you can call it fuck-hunting, I guess. Well if you hesitate in shooting it down, someone else will take your prize from right under your nose. So don’t think twice or hestitate, and just go for it, you’re brain will think of something to say or if it won’t then…

…Then Notice Something about Her and Mention It

Don’t give her any bullshite pick-up line or even a “You’re so beautiful I had to walk over here to talk to you” kinda compliment. Instead try to make the entire scenario as least awkward as you can while being funny. Humour overall is the best way to dim down any awkwardness. If she’s with some friends and they’re not in a really important conversation, but just chatting away and giggling here and there, then it’s the best time to approach. The only two times to really hesitate on the approach is if she’s with another man (no shite, eh?) or if she and her friends are really engaged in a conversation where you know you’ll be ignored.

So once you’re right there beside her and are opening your mouth to speak, make sure to not make it look like you’re nervous. Try to be as casual and aloof as possible. What I mean to say is just be really confident and remember, ‘she’s interviewing for you not the other way around’. Say something like, “So girls, how’re you enjoying your night?” or if you’ve had enough time to notice something about her like if she’s wearing a big shiny bracelet or something, point at it and say something like, “Woah, you know I got blinded by that thing from all the way over there.” But this is MOST important: make sure to SOUND sarcastic and funny. Don’t say it without emotion, then you’ll just look like a fucking angry fool. Smile or chuckle or do something to show that you’re ‘being cute’ when you finish saying a line like that.

Her Response

Now that you’ve said your line, it’s time to hear what she’s got to say. Give her a little moment to register the fact that someone random just came up to her and accused her bracelet of blinding him, and finally acknowledge the fact that it was a joke. Once it registers, she’d probably laugh and say something in return, or if she’s a bitchy type then she’ll try to ignore you and give you a dirty look.

Make sure to try again if she’s the bitchy type and say something sarcastic like, “Oh you really look like you’re enjoying this club.” If she finally responds, make sure to keep her laughing throughout the conversation and finally once you’re talking only to her alone and her friends have stopped listening in and are jealous that you didn’t come up to them instead, it’s time to maybe offer her a drink if she’s passed the interview process. If she hasn’t passed and you see that she’s not worth your time by the way she talks or the way she ‘really’ looks when up close, then just be corporate about it and say, “Well it was nice meeting you, I’ll see you around.” But if you’re going to blow her off, make sure that her friends aren’t good-looking either, because if you’ve realized that her friend is better, then say something like, “You’re friends are over there right? Let’s go meet them and see what’s going on.” Then when you approach her friends, obviously make a joke here and there and make sure to keep eye contact with the “sexier” friend and over a short period of time just transfer yourself over to her and light up a new conversation from scratch.

Those are my advice on approaching a woman. That’s only one method I’ll talk about today, because there are other interesting and efficient methods you can use when approaching a woman you find good-looking, and we’ll talk about that in future posts.



  • Drake said:

    THis is more useful than other advice I’ve found on approaching women. Good job Robby G.

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  • Kisha said:

    Finally a guy that says not to use a line. Not that I am a 10 myself but there has been a few times when I’ve heard some of these lines. Just go talk to her guys, what’s the worst she could do?

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  • Alan Myer said:

    Sounds really do-able, Ive tried a couple of these techniques and they definately do work, Not sounding nervous and being casual is key, youre right. How succsessful have these ‘moves’ been for you personally and are you going to go into more detail about the actual conversation ebcause i think thats the part where i get most nervous, thinking about what to say and trying to keep the convo alive.. love the woman section, keep em coming man.

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  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Alan Myer, Thanks for your comment. This blog is quite young so I haven’t gone into too much detail about Women yet but there’s a lot more I’ve got to talk about and the whole flirting and what to say in the conversation will definetely come in later posts.

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  • izik said:

    this is genious!, just genious! im taking your advice to the club tonight. thx robby g.

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