I have been receiving many questions concerning fuck buddies and noticed that there is a pattern of mistakes that people make while in a fuck buddy relationship. Though there is usually a distinct line between a fuck buddy and a boyfriend/girlfriend, many seem to add features into the fuck buddy relationship which blur that division and that is usually when people end up getting hurt. In this post I will assess and describe the essential mistakes that people make and the final aim is to know what common mistakes fuck buddies make in order to avoid them.

Leave the Emotions at the Door

The number one mistake fuck buddies make when they are starting out is that they think that you don’t need any preparation when entering a fuck buddy relationship and that it’s great to have a woman/man to sleep with whenever you’re feeling like having sex. When they enter the relationship, they tend to completely disregard their own emotional state and do not realize how vulnerable they can actually be. You must be shallow when you’re approaching a fuck buddy situation. There is his or her looks that you must care about and whether or not you have a sexual attraction or chemistry towards your partner. All other emotions should be left at the door. There shouldn’t be any love making, just fucking. There shouldn’t be any discussion on “what do you look for in a girlfriend/boyfriend”, just “are you in the mood right now or should I call back another time”. There shouldn’t be any room in your heart for your fuck buddy. Though this seems cold, you must remember that this little mistake of adding an emotional element into the fuck buddy relationship always manifests into something greater and then if your partner isn’t on the same level of emotional attachment as you, it usually ends bad. This brings me to my next point.

It’s Just Sex

Many times people think they can handle having emotionless sex where nothing else but the sex drive is being satisfied, but sometimes after going at it for quite some time, they may get too close to their partner on a level that is beyond the main purpose of fuck buddies, which is sex. Remember, once you’ve slept with the fuck buddy, there is no need to go on dates of any kind except to the bedroom. Prior to becoming fuck
buddies, it’s alright to go on dates, because many times you may like to get to know the person before ever sleeping with them. However, once you’ve slept together and you both are satisfied with just having sex without having a full blown relationship, then realize the fact that you must respect those boundaries you have created for yourselves. If you’re still going on dates after you’ve had sex, then you’re in a formal relationship. Dates mean that you enjoy spending time with that person without it having to always lead to the bedroom. And if there’s no sex yet you enjoy their presence, that proves that you like that person, thus you have broken the rule and you have attached emotions into the mix.

One Too Many Times

You must pace yourself with your fuck buddy. How many times a week can you really meet for sex to feel sexually satisfied? The reason you’re in a fuck buddy relationship is to relieve yourself sexually and not have to deal with the perks of a formal relationship. The only thing that calling your fuck buddy too many times to have sex will do is make them feel like you are thinking about them more than you ought to be; that you don’t have any other options to go to for sex; or that there is a possibility you are wanting to take things to the next level. Though you’re just meeting for sex, keep it balanced and don’t overdo it. Seeing your fuck buddy way too often can make you feel dependant on them for any sort of sexual relief. This can make you vulnerable to dependency and that usually leads to emotional attachment. So set some limits to how often you call your fuck buddy for sex. Keep a balance and don’t visit them too often.

Pursue New Opportunities

Having various fuck buddies is a great way to avoid any mistakes. Though you may not have the time for all of them, do not get locked up in just having one fuck buddy. I’ve had three, sometimes four, fuck buddies at the same time. I would usually favour one or two and sleep with them more than the others, but nonetheless I was still open to new opportunities with other women. It may get too hectic sometimes when you have too many girls, because if you don’t have the time for a formal relationship then more than likely you won’t have time for three fuck buddies. However, never close the door on new opportunities. Remember, you are not an exclusive couple and you have the freedom to sleep with other people. So just because you may have one fuck buddy, you shouldn’t stop yourself from hooking up with other people.

Explanations Are Unnecessary

Justifying yourself or feeling like you need to explain yourself to your partner is strictly for formal relationships. People who aren’t used to the idea of fuck buddies continue making the same mistake. They are so used to explaining themselves to their partners that if they go ahead and do something that would make their girlfriend/boyfriend jealous, then they incorporate that logic into their fuck buddy relationship. If your fuck buddy is questioning you about things then there is a problem. Also, you shouldn’t question your fuck buddy if they are sleeping around or if they are doing things you don’t approve of. They are free bodies and you have no rights over them. They have their complete freedom and there is no need for them to take you into account when they make decisions that concern themselves. It may sound selfish, but that is why fuck buddies are fuck buddies and not a girlfriend/boyfriend type couple.

I’m not trying to discourage people who would like to have a formal relationship with emotions and love, but only explaining the mistakes that people make once they agree to a fuck buddy relationship. And when one of the fuck buddies thinks their relationship is strictly sexual while the other believes they can handle it and don’t prepare themselves for it, then things tend to end on a bad note. It has happened to me where the fuck buddy arrangements were in place and we only met for sex, and though the woman knew what was going on, she allowed herself to get too close and that ended up with her getting really hurt. Of course, she blamed me, but I’m not in it to hurt anyone’s feelings. When the two of us are clear on the fact that we’re just interested in having sex each other without any other strings attached, then both should respect that fact and not have to make a big deal when one continues to see it as only a fuck buddy relationship while the other makes the mistakes mentioned above and treat the situation like there is something more to it than the sex.

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• Fuck Buddy: Go Beyond the Sex
• Can Friends be Fuck-Buddies?