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Become a More Dynamic Woman

1 December 2010 One Comment

hello Robby, i have written to you before and really love the advice… So
here it goes, i met this guy through an online dating site last december..in
january we finally decided to meet up and things hit off very well.. but
after a few days we both agreed that we only wanted to keep things casual
and no official relationship. We both had just come out of a
relationships…. so after this we started sleeping together and going out.
since then we have become very close, and i think i have fallen for him :S
on the first month of this i and some of my friends pranked call him and
made him believe that we were women interested in him… he somehow related
this to some girl who he ended up having an argument with her because of
this… so i stopped. Just a few weeks ago when i stayed over at his house
that he found out by accident that it was me who made this calls… we didn’t
talk all night and he didn’t touch me, it felt so awkward… anyway… the
day after my mom,my aunt and my cousin were going to a concert in spanish
(i’m latin) and he decided to still come to this concert, he met my mother
and everything went very well that night.my mother of course thinks hes my
boyfriend, there is no fuck buddy relationship in her mind…so she kept
telling me off and saying that i am very cold around him, in comparison with
my real ex’s! During this concert i caught him checking out another girl, and
saw him texting other women… this really pissed me off and made me upset,
but of course i didn’t say anything to him about this… a few days after he
calls me and says to come over to his, he takes me hairdresser with him, he
ask for my approval on his haircut, we have dinner with his mum and for some
reason he seems more affectionate… so i’m not really understanding how he
feels after the pranks calls which cause him a lot of problems… i feel
really bad and i have said sorry to him… the main problem is that i really
don’t know how he feels towards me, i try to act like i do’n like him in that
way and talk to him about my exes and boys that talk to me, but he never
mentions things like this to me… he has also become more romantic in
bed… not as cold as the first few months we started this… last week as
a joke i asked him what he would say if i said i loved me and he said “i
can’t do anything about that, there is nothing i can do about that”!!!
obviously i tried putting this as a joke but it really hurt to see that
reaction… i am so confused. I really love this guy, and i’m just scared to
tell him this, hes 31 and am 19 but we on so well. tonight on his facebook
he put a song on how someone will make this woman cry when she finally falls
in love… so i commented and he said it reminded it of me but then said he
was joking.. i said somone must have dedicated it to him as he is such a
player.. he sent me a text saying not to call him a player and deleted my
comments of his facebook, and right away he puts another song called “you
don’t know me”.. i dont know if that was for me but it felt like it.. i hate
feeling this way, I want to just say things to him and how i really feel but
i dont think he will trust me, especially after i talk to him about other
guys and a few months ago told him i still loved my ex..dont know what to
do. please please help me…. i will do as you say..
thank you so much, and i am really sorry for the length of this… but i
really need to take this off my chest

I think that he may be underestimating you and not taking you as serious as you may want him to. If you want him to be more into you and get him to appreciate you more both when you are away from people and when you are in public, you have to give him something to chase. I know this may be difficult to take in, but asking or “joking” around with him about things like love, such as asking him what he would say if you told him you loved him, does you no good at all. All it does is give him a better idea of what is on your mind. And the fact that you finish with, “I was just joking” shows him that you are insecure about it and you wouldn’t want to admit it. This makes him think that you are holding things in from him and that you are thinking about your “relationship” even when you’re not together, meaning that you are into it more than you appear to be into it. When a woman, on the other hand, portrays that the only time she is thinking about the man is when she is with him and not when she is busy with her daily life, that gives the man the idea that he is not important to her enough. And this is what you want to achieve with a man like this one. If he thinks you are taking your relationship lightly and it is insignificant to you then he will try new ways to get you to show interest. The less interest you show, the more he will pursue you. So, instead of commenting on his Facebook videos, do the opposite and completely ignore his profile, and if he ever comments on your photos or videos, etc, do not even reply to them. Hence, the less interest you show, the more he tries to attain it.

Also, he may be feeling slightly vexed by the fact that you prank called him or that you play these minor games with him and he may want you to act more direct with him when it comes to being in actual relations. What I mean by that is you may want to try and be more serious when you are with him and see the reaction you get from him. Instead of showing the fun and playful side of yourself all the time, show him the more complex and sophisticated side and see if he doesn’t speak with you on a more formal level. And don’t think that when a man is formal with a woman that it is a necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I think formality could solidify your relationship and make him take you less for granted and appreciate you more. He will see a new side to you that he thought wasn’t there and that may trigger a new interest in him for you. But again, being more sophisticated or serious with him does not mean you have to act moody, just more dynamic. If you present yourself as a more self-reliant individual then he will see more to you then he originally did. Try it out and let me know how it goes.

One Comment »

  • Magenta Smith@Campers for Sale said:

    “formality could solidify your relationship and make him take you less for granted and appreciate you more.”

    This is quite true. It also shows how much he respect and appreciates you.

    Reply to Comment

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