Begin a Relationship AFTER You’ve Slept with Him
So here’s the deal:
In my country there is a rock music group that was kind of famous like 6 years
ago, now they don’t release any albums and there were fights with the vocalist,
One night they were singing reunited in a club, I was there front line, long
story short I fucked the vocalist.
That night I met the piano guy and then he and me continued to talk and
eventually we fucked. this has been happening since November. Every time we fuck
we talk and we have gotten to know each other we go to the same clubs and have a
hello/hello public relationship, because almost everyone in this city knows
everyone, and everyone knows I fucked the vocalist, at least in our social
circle which includes the pianist sister who happens to see me as a whore, and
she has all the reason btw. The vocalist is no problem we only did it that one
time and he lives in another city, and I really like the pianist, I have stopped
talking to him (we always chat on fb) and i wanna ask him out on a date, but I
don’t know it’s complicated because i think that me fucking his partner is gonna
make him not give it a chance. I don’t know what to do and I see your advice are
great, pls help!!!
I’m generally a very positive person and would have to say that if you want something then you’ll definitely be able to achieve it. Based on your twitter photo, I could see that you’re an attractive girl and the fact that you slept with his band mate should generally not have much impact on the pianist’s decision to date you. I don’t know how close you have gotten with the pianist over the past couple of months but I am sure he likes spending time with you and notices that you have taken a liking to him as well. And if what you and the vocalist shared was a one night stand then it can probably just be waved off as a drunken night which you barely remember anyways.
To Date or Not to Date… It Ain’t Rocket Science
The problem that I think may arise is that the pianist might view you as just another girl who is interested in him because he’s a musician and nothing more. This isn’t to say that he doesn’t like the attention, but he may think that you’re more of a groupie than a girl who is genuinely interested in a relationship with him. It really depends on what sort of person he is and if he is able to be open-minded and not constantly bring up the fact that you shagged his band mate.
The best way for you to approach this situation is to take a risk and call him for a lunch date, but not necessarily end it with sex. Girls are clever when it comes to making up reasons why they can’t have sex — menstruation comes to mind. This will make him wonder why you would ask him out to lunch when there is not sex involved and it will give him a direct hint that you’re not just interested in sex with him but might be luring him in into developing something more. The fact that the vocalist lives in another city only benefits you because that way there is no chance of you guys bumping into each other and lessening chances of many people spreading any gossip in your circles just so it would end up in the vocalist’s ear.
You mentioned that the band had fights with the vocalist and it may be that the pianist himself isn’t the that good of friends with him at this point, so this is another point you must use to your advantage. If they don’t talk much then there isn’t much for you to worry about. After asking the guy on a lunch date, message him again the next day and see what he’s up to and if he still sounds like he’s into you. Main thing is to keep a balance between how much you message/call him and how much he contacts you in return. The worst would be to overdo it and get annoying, so know your limit but don’t be afraid to lure him with your good looks and charm. Find out the qualities that he does like about you and play on that knowledge. I honestly don’t think you have much to worry about or should feel insecure about him wanting to date you. As long as you don’t keep bringing up many of your past relationships or the guys you’ve slept with in conversation, things should go smoothly. Also, when you do chat with him, try to find out various things that he likes and once you become closer (after a few dates), surprise him with something new like a small gift or even a special text that he wasn’t expecting and reassure him that you’re caring as well as spontaneous and that will bring him to feel even closer to you.