Home » General Advice

Best Left to Fond Memories

5 November 2011 One Comment

So here goes,
i met a guy via bbm chat, just looking for friends he said but we both
clicked straight away. At the time i was in a difficult relationship he said
he was too, he had gf/wife and a kid…. we spoke on the phone a few times
and we would always swap pics, he said once he wanted to know all the silly
things about me that he wanted to be my soul mate thought this was odd but me
liking this guy as i do thought cool. I’ve split up with my fella so am now
single, me and my bbm friend decided to meet and it was unreal, he was
holding my hand we sat in the oark kissing for ages, for some reason the fact
he had a gf didnt come into play… we did sleep together!!
after wards it was him messaging me as soon as i left, things also changed
and as i’ve known all along he just wants “fun”. I’m cool with this its no
prob… i went out a few weekends after and i told him i was on the pull. He
seemed so mardy with me… i was like whats your problem?? he almost seemed
jealous, he was saying i didn’t put kisses at the end of my messages when i
was out on the pull and then said he didn’t blame me as i was kissing
everyone else so why would i wanna kiss him. Thing is I’m pretty crazy for
this guy.
We cleared things up and that was that.
I met him last weekend got a hotel and omg it was like a dream yes we slept
with each other, but every time i was sitting away from him he would pull me
closer, he spend ages just running his fingers thro my hair, kissing me, felt
soo close…again he was the first to text me as i left saying he didnt want
to leave, now he texts me first in the morning texts when he can at work but
all the sex text has stopped. He seems soo far from distant its untrue, i asked
him point blank if he felt anything and his answer was “I’m not saying coz i
just want fun” what’s that meant to mean and then he said “just not saying
thats how things go wrong” What could go wrong?? and he goes quiet as soon
as he’s home he never used to i know i shud move on forget about him but its
so easy to say but i just cant seem to do it….. help me please.. does this
guy even like me??

I think the whole situation is as blatant as he puts it. He’s not putting much effort into making things work, and it seems like it was just a minor fling for him. Now that he got what he wanted and the chase is over and done with, he is back into his every day life. I know it’s always easier said than done to just move on, but you have to try because the earlier you attempt to move on, the earlier you will lose the feelings you have for him. He doesn’t take things as they come and he tries to emphasize that he out to just have fun and doesn’t want to complicate things. What he means when he says, “That’s how things go wrong” is that he is afraid that A) His girlfriend finds out, and/or B) You get too attached emotionally and it will not be easy for him to break things off with you.

To him, this entire scenario was something extraordinary and enticing that he wanted to feel because he was probably dissatisfied with other aspects of his relationship. Now that he got his fix, he’s moving on. It’s terrible, I know, but that’s how some men act. They think that they’re ready to change their life around and that they want something more than what they have, but once they get involved with something new, they realize that they’re in over their head and they retreat to their steady and mundane lifestyles. It’s great that you’re very upfront and don’t peek around the bush when it comes to this guy. You asked him straight if he was feeling anything toward you, and he tried to avert from the question the best way he knew how: “I’m not saying.” This was his attempt to seem nice and at the same time try to give you a hint that he’s not too involved emotionally and just likes the sexual aspect of your relations. Best thing now is to either cut all ties with him or slowly allow things to fade away if you can handle not getting the result you’re striving for. It will definitely be difficult but that’s the only way we learn that we should never rush into things and we should really pick up on things when a person we’re interested in tells us their intentions. Though it is not always the case, usually when a man says he’s just looking to have fun, that’s what he’s looking for but there are sometimes ways women are able to get what they want. In this case though, find someone who is on the same level and you’ll have much more fun.

One Comment »

Leave your Thoughts!