Can He Handle Being Just a Fuck Buddy?
hello how are you. i really enjoyed reading your site and thought to myself
that I may ask you questions about my own situations as well. I really
really need your help here so please write back. it is a long story. I met
him when i was 12 and he was 25. he is my mom’s friend. when i was 15 i don’t
know what happend i really liked him and accidently I kissed him. we only
kissed once, and a year after he told me that he had feelings toward me as
well at that time and he is glad that i made the move. and after that we
kissed each ohter a few times. i just turned 18 this year and we started
going on dates and had sex. the problem is that he had a girlfriend at that time but
now they are breaking up because his girlfriend lost his baby and he has always wanted a
kid although he never loved her. He and I are still seeing each other
regularly. we see each other twice a week. he says that we are dating and we
are actually together but I have not approved of that. the first thing is that
i dont think i have real feelings toward him but i can’t be mean to him I’ve
known him for almost my whole life. however we do care for each other for
real and he always says he likes me. i will see him next thursday. Last night I
thought to myself that I may just look at him as a fuck buddy since both of
us don’t want to lose our freedom and be controlled. So that I wouldn’t get
hurt at the end. i never question him about his personal life or anything, and I
avoid topics such as future, etc. but he always talks about what he and I will
do next year, etc. so now I am confused. Are we dating or I should just look
at it as a fuck buddy relationship.
I think the mindset you have in not taking this relationship too seriously is the right way to approach it. It is often that men who are older than a woman tend to make these promises but they usually do not delivery up to them. More often than not, the younger girls tend to fall in love and it is the man who tries to get rid of them after they sleep with them, so it’s actually really good to hear that you are not too emotionally attached.
Future Without Prospects
If you’re having fun with him now then I suggest you keep at it, but as long as you know you can keep your emotions under control. The problem may arise once you feel some kind of connection with him where you may not be comfortable breaking up with him whenever things get complicated. Though he says things that may be captivating right now, I believe it is only his emotions talking and he may not be as genuine as he may seem. Really analyze if you think you want to spend as much time with this man as you currently do and you are in a great position to distance yourself from him if you really wanted to. It could also be that he is talking about these future plans because he may feel obligated to you for some reason. You should really assess what you want from the relationship and go for it. It is always easier to figure out what you want when you have a clear head which does not sway with emotional influence.
Though you said that you want to see him as a fuck buddy, I think it may get complicated just because he talks with some sort of inclination towards something beyond a mere fuck buddy. A fuck buddy usually tends to be a partner who you don’t share too much history or feelings for, but he talks about the future with you and makes open remarks about liking you. It is important for you to see if he is able to actually just be a fuck buddy before you decide that he is your fuck buddy. You may as well openly discuss it with him and see if he is capable of taking your relationship as lightly as you, and if he can’t then there may be difficulty for you to just have him as a fuck buddy and nothing more. So, it’s crucial for you to come to a decision with his emotions in mind and discuss with him what exactly it is he expects from you and then after analyzing what you think suits you best, make the final decision.