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“Connect” with Women

31 July 2009 3 Comments

90% of all communication is non verbal. It is mostly body language and the tone in which you say something. So that means whenever we are talking to a person, it isn’t so much what we say as much as it is how we say it and the movements we make while saying it. And if practised correctly, the movements (ie: talking with your hands) we make, and the way we say things can be used in our advantage in picking up women. Connecting with women and making them find you attractive isn’t too difficult. For women, attraction usually isn’t even in the way you look as much as it in how you handle yourself. So if you learn to communicate with her properly then it’s as if there is this “On” switch that lights up inside her mind which makes her like you and want to connect back. Being confident, concise, and captivating is just the first part in grabbing a woman’s attention. The next part is communicating with her and that’s where some men get stumped. So I’ve devised a few things for you to focus on when trying to connect with a woman.

Don’t Be Afraid to Make Contact

When you first meet a girl you have to realize that she’s just as (and at times even more) nervous as you, so what you must do is make sure to make her feel comfortable. A great way to do this is make slight physical contact throughout your conversation. If you’re at a nightclub or somewhere where it is loud, don’t be afraid to lean over and put your ear close to her mouth to hear what she’s saying. Don’t think twice about putting your hand on her shoulder or around her elbow. If this is done correctly and not in an aggresive way then she will begin to feel very comfortable around you and you will also feel your own confidence grow. Don’t be rude about it and grab her inappropriately unless you’re down to fight the bouncers or the cops if it comes down to it. But just be nice about it ,and my favourite is petting the hair nonchalantly. That’s just the best. If you do it at the right time then you not only connect with her and make it look all fun and games, but you also feel that superiority inside you grow ever more.

When She’s Talking, Listen to What She’s Saying

Don’t only hear what she’s telling you, but actually listen. You don’t have to be looking into her mouth, trying to remember every word, in fact it might even be better if you don’t act like you’re 100% interested, but make sure to actually listen to what she says. This way you make her believe that she’s actually an interesting person to you, but you don’t give her the satisfaction of seeming desperate, because while you listen, don’t give her 100% of your attention through eye-contact. She’ll see that she’s interesting, but at the same time you have other things on your mind. You connect, but you don’t seem over-enticed by her.

Ask Her Questions and Make Comments (Choose Your Tone of Voice Wisely)

Women, like anyone else for that matter, love to hear themselves talk. They love to feel important, so go ahead and give them that feeling of heightened self-worth… but to a degree. Ask them questions, however, if you have a good way with words you have to make sure that some of the questions are followed with a mean, yet funny smart-ass comment. Test her out with those type of comments and see if she is able to laugh at herself, because most girls that are cool enough can in fact be carefree enough to laugh at themselves from time to time. This can completely work against you if you don’t have the common sense to know how or when to throw in those smart-ass comments and what type of tone of voice to use. The tone is key in how you’re throwing your comments out, whether it is a sarcastic comment, a humourous comment, or just a straight-forward allegation. I’ve met a lot of guys who just don’t seem to know when they are funny and when they are just straight up weird and stupid. So don’t stress it. If you’re not the funniest guy (though you may believe you are) there is a way to figure out if you are, which I might go ahead and write a completely separate post for. But for the mean time just act like yourself and keep asking the broads questions, with or without those smart-ass comments, depending on how well they work.

So go out there and try to connect with women. It will “A”  help you getting to know them better, if you’re into that whole thing. And “B” make them feel more comfortable around you, and a step closer to getting them to sleep with you.


  • U4 said:

    Very true indeed. Connecting with women is something a lot of guys forget to do. Sometimes they get scared to lean in and touch the girl by the arm or whatever. That’s what differentiates the boys from the men. Men can take hold and be ballsy enough to act how they want while the boys hold themselves back.

  • Phil T said:

    I agree completely with U4, it separates the men from the boys. I like that there’s some science in this post and that the way you talk and act is more important than what you actually say. Really makes you think when you’re coming up to a girl. I’ll keep these facts in mind next time I’m hooking up with a girl.

    PS this is why I hate talking to girls on I.M, because all of that tone and the way you talk loses itself because you’re not actually there talking directly to the girl.

  • Bracelets said:

    Thank you very much for that dazzling article

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