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Divide the Men and Conquer the One You want

15 March 2010 No Comment

Hi Robby!
Ill get straight to the point. I have two guy friends that live together and
I go over to their house at least once a week. I knew for a long time that
one of them had a crush on me. Well recently the one that had a crush on me
has gotten “involved” with me. I’m pretty sure he really likes me. But me not so
much. And that is because I have a crush on his roommate which is also his
best friend.
I don’t want to hurt him and I want to be with his best friend. But I think
if I hurt him or know that I’m even involved with him that his best friend wont even
look at me that way twice.
How do I do this safely?


This is a situation in which you have to act very professional and cautiously to make sure not to mess things up. I have come up with a systematic approach you can take to make the transition to becoming one of the roommate’s girlfriend without seeming like you purposely hurt the one who has a crush on you.

1. Playing Stupid

Whenever you go over to their home, act the same way you would with any friend. Don’t be afraid to flirt a little with both of them and don’t feel constricted in your actions. Make sure you don’t act like you know the guy has a crush on you and basically take the ignorant approach initially. Be friendly with the guy who likes you, and even though he may think that you are leading him on because you aren’t holding back, let him figure that that is only your character and nothing to take too seriously. Don’t confront him about liking you and assuming that just being “involved” with him isn’t something serious written in stone, so you may act like whatever happened between you two was not too serious and almost like an accident even. If he ever brings up the subject of dating, just tell him you’re not interested in him and don’t think it would be a good idea. The mistake you initially made was in fact getting involved with the guy you don’t like, because it limits your opportunity with the roommate you do have feeling for.

2. Divide

Find a way to separate the two roommates by calling the one you like out sometime for something informal. Go over to their place when you may know that the one who has a crush on you is not home and ask the other one to come to lunch with you. Once you’re out, talk about relationships and ask what he looks for in girls and if he has anyone in his life at the moment. Also, give off a hint that you may be interested by asking something like, “Well, would you ever consider dating anyone like me?” or something of that nature. When a man is even remotely interested, he loves when the woman puts out opportunities like that out there for them. If he begins talking about the other roommate who likes you, do trash talk him, instead tell him that you’re just not too interested in him and he isn’t your type. Indirectly make him feel like he is the one who is more like your type. Basically, what you want to do at this opportunity when they are separate is plant an idea into his mind that you in fact have been thinking about him and would be available if he asked you out, but make sure not to seem needy or like you have been thinking too much about him.

3. Conquer

Once the idea is planted, you must separate yourself from both roommates. Avoid going to their place as often as you did and see if the roommate you like calls or texts you. If he does then hear him out and pick up on any hints on whether or not he may be interested in pursuing you more. Then the battle is won and the one you like will be yours. However, if he does not call you, then after a short period of being “too busy” to see them, you should go over to their place and act naturally. Then five minutes after you leave their place, text message the one you like and write something like, “I forgot to ask you if you wanted to meet this weekend for drinks.” This subtle initiative on your behalf should get him interested and excited in the mysteriousness of the situation, because though you act completely natural around them, you seem to possess this other side to you.

Try that systematic approach, but make sure not to rush things unless you see that progress is being made before scheduled. This is still a very difficult task to accomplish simply because they are roommates and best friends, but try that out and I think your chances to get the one you want will be substantially raised. Fill me in on the progress, and also, do not worry too much about the one who has a crush on you, because sometimes it is unavoidable to hurt someone’s feeling to get what you want no matter how cruel that sounds.

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