Does My Fuck Buddy Like Me?
I’ve come across your site, and might I add, it’s very interesting!
So here’s the deal:
Him and I have been going at IT for a couple of months now, and I’m not
sure what to make of my feelings for him. We are strictly friends with
benefits, and I know they’re there, but I don’t see a future with this guy
at all. I’m pretty open with him – he knows I’m seeing other people, but I
realize now he doesn’t really tell me much about his personal life. I guess
he doesn’t tell me if he wants to. We get along just fine; I make him laugh
and he’ll goof around. I do think about him alot, mostly just the great sex
though .. but the thing that throws me off are the stuff he does before,
during, and after.To elaborate, he just seems too… considerate. When we arrange to meet up,
he’ll usually meet me halfway (we live near eachother), and since it’s
winter he’ll just bring me extra gloves and scarf and such things like that.
I’m usually the one to sleep over as well, and I hate it. It feels like he
has the upperhand somehow because I’m the one going to him, yenno? (Even
though his place is the only place we can do it).He’ll just hold my hand, and cuddle with me, and kiss my forehead and stuff
like that, and I want to know if that means anything. Or, am I thinking too
hard? I guess i want to know if he likes me as well.-Honey
Considerate of Your Other Men
The fact that he doesn’t fill you in on his personal life is a good things. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a fuck-buddy relationship or in a real serious relationship, the partner doesn’t want to hear about how she sees other people. The only time a man would want to hear about his fuck-buddy seeing other men is when he is trying to figure out an excuse to get out of the fuck-buddy relationship. He turns to excuses when he sees that he won’t be able to break it off too easily without hurting her feelings. So in all honesty, it seems like he’s being really considerate in the fact that he doesn’t tell you about other women he may or may not be seeing. Also, since it’s a friends with benefits relationship, he is also just being smart in not opening up too much, because that could evoke new feelings in you that may lead you on to liking him more than just fuck-buddies.
He definitely feels like this is more than just a fuck-buddy relationship, clearly because he cares if you’re cold or if you want to sleep over once the dirty deed is over with. But that could just be him acting in a considerate way because as you said this is “friend” with benefits and not just a simple fuck-buddy relationship. There is a difference. It doesn’t seem like he’s doing these nice things to score Browny Points, but he actually genuinely cares about how you feel. He likes to take care of you and make you feel comfortable around you.
Considerate of Your Security
Cuddling, holding your hand, and kissing you on the forehead means a whole lot. You’re surely not overthinking it, because when you’re in a fuck-buddy relationship and don’t want anything more than that, you make it an effort not to do things like that. That stuff is left for all those people who have a serious relationship. But when a man wants something more, but is not 100% secure whether or not the woman (you, in this case) wants it, he sends off little hints and references by exactly doing those little things like cuddling to get emotionally closer to you.
He may be hurting on the inside, but that’s not a definite fact. He could just be a really considerate guy who puts others in front of himself and wants you to be happy with any situation that you may put on him. Or it could be that he is playing this whole thing very well and all these considerate acts are just a way he thinks will keep you happy and thus keeping him happy, because he may really like the situation the two of you have created. But if I had to put money on it, I’d say he likes you as more than just friends if you ever gave him a chance. But it seems like he wouldn’t make the first move to talk about it because he would rather have a friends with benefits relationship with you rather than nothing at all if things went sour once he mentioned some sort of emotional attachment to you.


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Hi Rob! Thanks for the insight.. it really helps. I’m glad to know I’m not being crazy analytical about it. I would like to bring this up with him .. but I am not sure how to go about it. Any further suggestions?
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Robby G Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@Honey: Well, it would be a good idea to stop talking about other guys you may be seeing with him. Then just invite him out to a cafe or out to lunch and try to create a conversation that circles around the topic of what “he thinks” the two of are you doing really is, and if he’s satisfied with that. Then say that if he’s willing to take it further then you’re ready too.
But you really have to feel out the situation. My main suggestion is that you don’t bring it up right after sleeping with him. Do it in a more formal environment.
Does that sound like it would work with him? It’s different in every situation, but with what I read about him, there is no need to be tricky or anything. Just straight forward, but with just a little room for safety in case things backfire.
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I am in a very weird situation.
I have been seeing a guy for over a year now. We started going on dates and it was clear he was so much into me. It was that clear that I freaked out. I was just out of a 9 yrs relationship and did not want another one!
After me freaking out I tried to keep a strictly sexual affair with him. It worked but he always “complained” that I just wanted him for sex. This made me feel terribly bad. I was being unnecessary “cold” with someone I have been seeing for more than a year now. So I am ok now to have a FWB relationship with him and he is happy I want to be friends and not just sex.
Still I can see he would like to take things further but I always try to avoid bringing up the subject. I think he got the message.
Just curious as to whether a FWB will be feasible. I don’t want to hurt any feelings … or being hurt
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