Does My Fuck Buddy Like Me?
I’ve come across your site, and might I add, it’s very interesting!
So here’s the deal:
Him and I have been going at IT for a couple of months now, and I’m not
sure what to make of my feelings for him. We are strictly friends with
benefits, and I know they’re there, but I don’t see a future with this guy
at all. I’m pretty open with him – he knows I’m seeing other people, but I
realize now he doesn’t really tell me much about his personal life. I guess
he doesn’t tell me if he wants to. We get along just fine; I make him laugh
and he’ll goof around. I do think about him alot, mostly just the great sex
though .. but the thing that throws me off are the stuff he does before,
during, and after.To elaborate, he just seems too… considerate. When we arrange to meet up,
he’ll usually meet me halfway (we live near eachother), and since it’s
winter he’ll just bring me extra gloves and scarf and such things like that.
I’m usually the one to sleep over as well, and I hate it. It feels like he
has the upperhand somehow because I’m the one going to him, yenno? (Even
though his place is the only place we can do it).He’ll just hold my hand, and cuddle with me, and kiss my forehead and stuff
like that, and I want to know if that means anything. Or, am I thinking too
hard? I guess i want to know if he likes me as well.-Honey
Considerate of Your Other Men
The fact that he doesn’t fill you in on his personal life is a good things. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a fuck-buddy relationship or in a real serious relationship, the partner doesn’t want to hear about how she sees other people. The only time a man would want to hear about his fuck-buddy seeing other men is when he is trying to figure out an excuse to get out of the fuck-buddy relationship. He turns to excuses when he sees that he won’t be able to break it off too easily without hurting her feelings. So in all honesty, it seems like he’s being really considerate in the fact that he doesn’t tell you about other women he may or may not be seeing. Also, since it’s a friends with benefits relationship, he is also just being smart in not opening up too much, because that could evoke new feelings in you that may lead you on to liking him more than just fuck-buddies.
He definitely feels like this is more than just a fuck-buddy relationship, clearly because he cares if you’re cold or if you want to sleep over once the dirty deed is over with. But that could just be him acting in a considerate way because as you said this is “friend” with benefits and not just a simple fuck-buddy relationship. There is a difference. It doesn’t seem like he’s doing these nice things to score Browny Points, but he actually genuinely cares about how you feel. He likes to take care of you and make you feel comfortable around you.
Considerate of Your Security
Cuddling, holding your hand, and kissing you on the forehead means a whole lot. You’re surely not overthinking it, because when you’re in a fuck-buddy relationship and don’t want anything more than that, you make it an effort not to do things like that. That stuff is left for all those people who have a serious relationship. But when a man wants something more, but is not 100% secure whether or not the woman (you, in this case) wants it, he sends off little hints and references by exactly doing those little things like cuddling to get emotionally closer to you.
He may be hurting on the inside, but that’s not a definite fact. He could just be a really considerate guy who puts others in front of himself and wants you to be happy with any situation that you may put on him. Or it could be that he is playing this whole thing very well and all these considerate acts are just a way he thinks will keep you happy and thus keeping him happy, because he may really like the situation the two of you have created. But if I had to put money on it, I’d say he likes you as more than just friends if you ever gave him a chance. But it seems like he wouldn’t make the first move to talk about it because he would rather have a friends with benefits relationship with you rather than nothing at all if things went sour once he mentioned some sort of emotional attachment to you.
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Hi Rob! Thanks for the insight.. it really helps. I’m glad to know I’m not being crazy analytical about it. I would like to bring this up with him .. but I am not sure how to go about it. Any further suggestions?
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Robby G Reply:
December 16th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@Honey: Well, it would be a good idea to stop talking about other guys you may be seeing with him. Then just invite him out to a cafe or out to lunch and try to create a conversation that circles around the topic of what “he thinks” the two of are you doing really is, and if he’s satisfied with that. Then say that if he’s willing to take it further then you’re ready too.
But you really have to feel out the situation. My main suggestion is that you don’t bring it up right after sleeping with him. Do it in a more formal environment.
Does that sound like it would work with him? It’s different in every situation, but with what I read about him, there is no need to be tricky or anything. Just straight forward, but with just a little room for safety in case things backfire.
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massiveconfussiongirl Reply:
February 4th, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Hi rob, is there such a thing as fuck buddies falling in love?? Well here’s thE story…. I’ve known this guy for 4 years his my next door neighboor… We went to high school together and graduated at the same time… The first three years of high school didn’t really talked to him until my senior year… During my senior year he would take me to school and get along so well…! We started being fuck buDdies.. When my parents found out about him they didn’t much liked it him, because he was a “pot head”.. I didn’t much care about my parents even tho I wasn’t allow to see him.. I would sneak out and see hium to smoke, fuck, and talk a little… Now its been a year and 3 months and to be honest. I have feelings for him.. He knows I have them.. But at the same time I feel that he does too..sometimes when he sneaks me in into his room we “fuck” and then we cuddle.. (Is that normal?). Two nights ago I sneaked him in into my room and he said “he missed ME” a lot.. Right now I’m really confused because at the beginning it was just “sex” and your going home.. Now is “I missed u make out let’s have sex.. & cuddle up “. I’ve asked em wat he likes about me he says “everything” I’ve asked em he cares about me abd he’s says “yes”.. So is there a way that he can have deep feelings for me as much as I do for him?
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Robby G Reply:
March 27th, 2011 at 2:54 am
@massiveconfussiongirl: The way you’ve explained things, I believe he has very serious interest in you as more than just a fuck buddy. The fact that he misses you and that he likes everything about you, and moreover that it’s not just about sex shows that he likes you a lot. You two have grown on each other, and even though it may have begun as just sex it seems like it’s developed into something much more.
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Heartbroknlove Reply:
September 27th, 2011 at 1:32 pm
For 3 1/2 yrs ive been seeing this man ive falln so in love with.. We met at work we were both going through alot at the time with other relationships, we eventually started meetn up after work and eventually started having sex.. I know we r fwb, but when we get together he acts like we could be so much more which i want more than anything! He’s so caring about my wants and needs when im there.. I always go to his place he always makes sure i have something to drink, he always cuddles with me in his room before sex while we watch a movie and visit for a little bit. After we always cuddle, and he plays with my hair, talk with me wraps his arms around me and we fall a sleep. When morning comes we turn the alarm off several times before we get up.. He always walks me out and gives me a hug and kiss bye.. And he always talks to me on the phone on my way home till i tell him i made it. My question is could he possible think of me more than a friend with benifits?? After i get home im the one that always has to txt him.. He never calls me! He will tell me im special to him im important and he’s told me he loves me once in 3 years, but he has alot to work out with his divorce and kids before he can have a relationship..Hes been divorced for 3 years now.
Im not the only woman he has that he just sleeps with so i dont know where i fall with him.. I know im in love with him and wish i could some how convince him of how perfect we r together.. He doesnt respond when i tell him i miss him and i only get to go see him ebery couple months cause he has his kids on his days off and he works a lot.. Am i waisting my time??
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I am in a very weird situation.
I have been seeing a guy for over a year now. We started going on dates and it was clear he was so much into me. It was that clear that I freaked out. I was just out of a 9 yrs relationship and did not want another one!
After me freaking out I tried to keep a strictly sexual affair with him. It worked but he always “complained” that I just wanted him for sex. This made me feel terribly bad. I was being unnecessary “cold” with someone I have been seeing for more than a year now. So I am ok now to have a FWB relationship with him and he is happy I want to be friends and not just sex.
Still I can see he would like to take things further but I always try to avoid bringing up the subject. I think he got the message.
Just curious as to whether a FWB will be feasible. I don’t want to hurt any feelings … or being hurt
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Hi Rob! Thank you for this article… I’m sortof in a…complicated situation & your article sortof..made me feel a little better, I guess..? Can I ask you something, though? Is there really no such thing as a “friend zone” for guys..? Oh, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. Okay, let me start off by explaining the whole situation.
“Paul” & I met a little over 2 years ago at this school for a one year diploma course.
He & I became good friends at this school, we would go out to parties, smoke out, get smashed, etc etc, all the friend stuff, yknow?
So like I said, I’ve known him for about 2yrs. And we’ve always been joke-flirting with each other for most of the time, you know what I mean? When two people are so comfortable with each other that you pass faux come-ons & teases to the other sex? I do it all the time and people always know I am just kidding around.
(I really don’t know about guys but for me, I can totally fake tease & joke flirt with my really good guy friends and totally mean nothing of it)
Anyway, after that one year diploma course we both sortof went in different directions.
I was seeing a guy & was in a relationship for about a year. “Paul” & I still kept in touch ever now & then all throughout though. The flirt texts & teases & jokes were still there.
We would sometimes bump in to each other at reunions/parties, etc etc. and it’s as if nothing’s changed between us.
NOW though, this is where it got confusing for me…
I broke it off with the guy I was seeing for over a year & “Paul” knew about it, & basically everyone in my circle of friends knew how f*d up I was about the whole thing & whatev..but eventually I got over it & started dating again.
Now, it’s nothing new for “Paul” to be texting me, asking if I was going out that night or what I was up to or if I was down to hang out or whatever, but recently I noticed his texts were becoming more persistent.
And one day, he asked me something very very out of the ordinary (from our 2-year friendship), he asked me out to go shopping with him, and maybe afterwards hangout. He said he needed to get new clothes. I was like, “Oh kayy…” and just laughed about it. But deep inside I sortof felt something was up… I mean, I’ve never really went out ‘shopping’ with other guys or any of my guy friends (neither has any of those guy friends asked me for such a thing-Lol), UNLESS they’re my boyfriend or my relative. AND, this “Paul” & I would always hangout at clubs/bars/pubs/parties or with other friends in our group. But this time, he just wanted me out with him.
(This is the point where I began to ask myself–wait, is “Paul” in to me or on to something?)
Anyway, I thought nothing of it, said yes & thought ‘well, hey, maybe he just really needs someone to help him shop!’
So I meet up with the guy and we go about ‘shopping’.
Of course, it felt weird to be in a mall with him during the day (& not out at night in some bar w/ lots of alcohol & friends). But I tried to keep my cool anyways & acted as how I’ve always acted around him.
Most of the people (sales reps, the other people in the store) would ask if we were together or if he was my boyfriend, I woud laugh & tell them ‘No, he’s just a real good friend of mine.’
I did notice though he was acting different. Like, he was nervous or something. I noticed he didn’t have as much to say. Not as flirty. Not teasing too much. Just–different. He would jumble up words, act awkwardly–different! Anyway, I tried not to think anything of it anyhow.
After shopping we decided to go & grab a few drinks.
After we downed a couple bottles that’s when I saw the old “Paul” resurface again. He was more talkative now & more relaxed.
And, of course, topic about my ‘ex’ couldn’t be avoided. I was telling him about this & that & about my depression & whatever & what I’ve been doing to get over it & deal with the whole situation blah blah blah.
I would always tell “Paul” anything and wouldn’t give a damn about it (as I usually do with my guy friends),
but this time, he was like, dropping lines like, “You know what you need? You need a rebound. Hey, I’m here!” & usually I’d just laugh this stuff off, but somehow, I really felt he somehow meant it, you know what I mean? Which concerned me. He said everyone has needs, you know. Physical, sexual. He said he totally understood that.
In my head I was already thinking, ‘oh man, Paul really is up to something’ But at this point I was really confused as he was just totally a ‘Friend’ in my eyes (& i’ve been reading up on articles about how there is no such thing as a “friend zone” in the men’s world).
Oh, also, while we were shopping, he told me that he was going to leave for another state on the other side of the coast for a gig or something. That’s why he needed all the new clothes. And he’s going to be there for about half a year. And he’s leaving in about a week’s time.
So after the beer we decided to go smoke out at his place (I have flatmates so we couldn’t really hangout & make too much noise at my place).
We had more drinks at his place & I even brought a DVD as I planned to watch a couple movies (y’know, just hangout).
But what happened was (& I’m not gonna lie nor be naive and pretend like I didn’t see it coming), we did end up sleeping with each other.
I dont know, blame it on the booze, the smokes, my state of mind (coming from a breakup & all) & the fact that I haven’t had sex in a while…but yeah, we did it.
And I TOTALLY totally regretted it the day after.
I mean, it’s not like I hadn’t considered it. From the point where he was dropping hints while drinking the beers, telling me to rebound with him, telling me that he wanted to enjoy his last days in the city as much as he can while he still can, etc etc, I was already considering ‘Am I going to sleep with him or not?’
I really didn’t want to. I LOVED what we had! The friendship that we had. And I knew sleeping with him would change things…and it did.
Anyway, after HOURS of sex, we finally gave it a rest and turned in for the night. But I couldn’t really sleep.
I was totally expecting it to be like a one-night-stand kind of setup, a wham-bam-thank-you-maam kind of thing. But no, afterwards, we cuddled and hugged each other. Every now & then we’d make out.
& I wouldn’t deny the fact that I felt a little something in his kisses, like, I don’t know, a ‘spark’ perhaps..?
And at this point I was totally off my buzz & I was already thinking ‘what the hell am I doing’
Anyway, I was lying in bed & everything, my eyes closed, facing the other way.
And he would come up behind me and spoon-hug me, put his arms around me, put his head on mine, and when our hands touched, our fingers would intertwine. And, for me, it would feel too weird so I would pull my hand away and pretended to be just adjusting my position.
I noticed the light coming in from the window & I knew I had to get out of there before the sun really came up & the reality of the whole situation would dawn itself on me/us (no pun intended).
So when he got up & out of the room I quickly washed up & got dressed.
I was about to leave when I met him at his bedroom door as he was about to go in.
I told him I really had to go as I didn’t want to go out with the sun at full blast.
He told me I could stay longer if I wanted to.
I told him I really wanted to go.
He walked me to the gate and I kissed him for a bit in the doorway.
I could NOT look in to his eyes.
I told him to have a safe trip, then left.
Later that night he sent a text message, asking me if I wanted to come over.
I made up some excuse to not go (I couldn’t go out) and told him we should hangout the next day instead. He said that was cool.
I knew he probably wanted more sex (well, at least, that’s what I’m thinking’s going to end up happening if I went back there).
So now, I ask, whatthehell is going on here. I told one guy friend of mine (someone who I really really trust and is like a brother to me) and he said I shouldn’t let this thing get to my head & that I shouldn’t feel bad about it & whatever.
But now, as the days go on & I analyze the whole situation more, I get more & more confused.
Confused I guess because I don’t know what to make of his actions.
I’m his friend. We were good friends. I liked it that way. But it felt to me like in a SNAP he turned in to a fuckbuddy =( which is what I don’t/didn’t want.
I guess, ultimately, I just want to know:
Does he have feelings for me?
Did he really just wanted to fuck me? Want me as a fuckbuddy instead of a friend?
Did he want to fuck me because I just became single/available again?
Did he want to fuck me because he was leaving for another state soon?
Why, of all people, did he want to sleep with me, his friend? When he can probably sleep with any girl he points his finger at (Yes. He is EXTREMELY attractive. But he is just not my type, you know what I mean? But he was totally the heartthrob at school. & maybe the fact that I wasn’t one of those girls who would cream their panties in his presence is what made him go after me..? Because I was just who I was around him & not some glass-eyed girl who wanted him as her boyfriend. I don’t know…just thinking)
But now, I am considering the possibility of ‘something going on there’, you know what I mean?
But I don’t want to start & think about these things without knowing whether or not he just wants me as a fuckbuddy…or something more.
And I really am hoping more for the latter than the former.
Anyway RobbyG this is turning in to a freakn novel now. I really hope you could help me out…
Your input/insight on the whole situation would really help me on what moves I’m going to make in the future.
Again, thanks RobbyG!!
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Robby G Reply:
May 1st, 2010 at 8:55 am
@Confused Jane: Well that’s definitely a long story, but nicely written I must say. Anywho, to the topic now, I have to say that he’s into you. At first I thought that maybe he just wanted to sleep with you simply because he is moving, he always had a thing for you and just wanted to get it out of the way, etc, but the whole thing about cuddling, kissing you, texting you frequently, and most importantly the way he acted around you when you went shopping was a clear give away that he likes you more than just a fuck buddy or friend (as he always has). Initially he fell into the friend zone and didn’t know how to approach you about an actual relationship and those flirty jokes you did only made him feel like you’re teasing.
The problem isn’t in the fact that he likes you, it’s in the fact that he is moving to a different State, so I can’t imagine how you will make things work. Also, the questions you’re asking yourself right now are not the ones you SHOULD be asking. It’s clear now that he likes you and most likely always hoped that there would be something between you. You should ask yourself if you can handle being in a long-distance relationship with him; if you can really ever view him more than just a friend you slept with; and if you think you will make a good couple.
Essentially, do not stress the fact that you slept with him and that he was always into you as more than just friends. But you mentioned that you’re hoping that he does like you as more than just fuck buddies and I can say he really does and you should openly discuss with him how he’d like to proceed with this if you are willing to be his girlfriend.
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Confused Jane Reply:
May 2nd, 2010 at 9:16 am
Robby, thank you sooooo much for this reponse. And YES!
Those questions are EXACTLY the questions I should be asking myself… =/
LTR..? I never believe in them.
More than just a friend..? (in the week since it has happened, yes, I considered it…& I think we can be….)
Good couple..? That’s something we’ll have to find out…
I’ll update you guys after 6months.. ;^)
Again, thank you so much Rob!!
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Hi! um i have a problem and i need advice really bad! There is this boy i really love and we txt each other mostly every night and we always talk dirty back and forth to each other and he knows how to get me horny but idk if he really likes me 4 the sex or 4 me. I mean hes so sweet to me and he had lost a good fd of his last yr. and he uses that for excuses 4 some of the things and sometimes he just have the days where hes so upset that he dont wuna tell me whats wrong and i trie to help him. Does he like me and just dnt want to tell me? Does he want me to stay out of hem little problem so idh to deal with it? And do you think he likes me for real life?????? thank you and love always Dominique!!!!=)
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hiii Robby, i have a question…
I have a fuck buddy who it really started out as ” i don’t want anything seroius” an the sex is great!
But then with time he came over more often and made dinners, rented movies and held my hand and cuddled with me? The problem is that he shows me so much attention that i fell for him and i told him this but he said he doesnt wanna fall in love and he cant tell his friends he’s seeing me!( the reason he he told me he doesnt wanna fall in love is because i told him at the time we just started seing each other that i was going to australia for a year so travel and i would be leaveing in 6 months)
I then told him that i can’t do this it’s too much for me and it makes me confused, then he says that he really likes spending time with me and being with me and he doesn’t wanna loose that and that all other girls he’s been fuck buddies with he cut loose cause they wanted more but with me it’s different.
Why does he do all this??is he just playing me??
I don’t get it, he gives me so much attention and hes acting like a boyfriend with me but then he still doesn’t wanna tell his friends about me??
He came to my house instead of going to parties with his friends, he got jealous and called me cause one of his friends started talking to me at the mall, so i really dont get it??
He wants me there but i feel like a ghost.
He also continued keeping touch with me when i left and when i came back for a short visit he wanted to see me.
So what do you think??
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Hi RobbyG! I have a friend and I like him so much and he doesn’t have an idea about it. We’ve been friends for quite a long time now. I have a boyfriend and I really try the hardest just to ignore my feelings to my friend. Well, it’s not that I want him to be my boyfriend or I’m madly in love with him, it’s just that I really like him. I love the way he carries himself, so cute. He is single and he hooks up with a lot of girls. He’s having the time of his life I must say. We went to a bar one night. Get drunk and really had fun. My boyfriend left because we had a fight. I was just shocked, the next thing I knew was we were kissing. On the way home we acted as if nothing happened. We had sex and agreed that it was just a mistake and sworn that we would never do it again. But it happened so many times. The weird thing is, I know he would be the last person to like me because he used to tease me around and be the meanest person to me. What does it mean? Is he really doing it for lust? Can you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to?
When he gets drunk, he calls me up and asks me to meet him but I would play hard-to-get to feel a little thrill. The last time he called and asked me to meet him, I told him to pick me up and he did!! Is he really in need for a booty call that I am his last option or I am the only one he loves doing it with since he told me he does so I’m his only option. And do you really kiss your fuck buddy goodbye? because he does. I just can’t figure out if he likes me or not. That’s what I only need to know. Please help me
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Hi
I am not sure what to do I have just got involved with an ex boyfriends mate who I knew well when we were all kids growing up and my friend suggested he could be my fuck buddy….. I thought this was great idea and we have met up twice its amazing but I am now going crazy and cant stop thinking about him he thinks the idea is good also, but he texts me all the time and askes hows my day etc and tells me about his, I wasnt sure about the rules so I suggested he come to a party with me an we can fuck all night after cos I couldnt meet him due to the party, he said fuck buddys dont do that! an I felt a little hurt by his reaction, I know I am crazy and there are plenty of guys that want me but I always seem to want what I cant have, if I say summat to him it might scare him off and he is amazing in bed he has introduced me to bondage and likes to tie me up which is different and great. Lisa, x
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i had a bf for a month but we broke up in january cus are attitudes would always crash and when he got a gf we cussed eachother out but we started talking again last month and he told me he was single and wanted to be fuck buddies so i said ok but i still love him so it hurts when i sometimes see him&cant tell him how i feel&only texts me 2 say when were gonna meet again:/ but today i met him&he acted really nice he hold my hand and kissed me same way as before kissed my cheek, cuddled&rested with me in bed and watched a movie with me and put his arm around me&stayed close2me and kissed me goodbye and hugged me..do u think he might still have feelings4me?? idk im confusedu__u
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its hard idk wat to do??idk if he still does or is it normal for a fuck buddy2just cuddle with you in bed&kiss ure cheek and2 kiss u goodbye???
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I need advice. Horribly bad! I just got out of a year and a half relationship with my ex. I signed up for a dating website and I let him know I was interested, but he said he was looking to be more “friends”. he said he was half heartedly looking for someone because he is going off to college in the all, but the college is literally 20 minutes away! So anyways, when he first came over he told me that he thought that I was beautiful and always complementing my features, he calls me sweetheart, he asks ” how are things” every time he sees me, he cuddles with me, we have mind blowing sex -he says and so do I, before and after sex, and we talk about other stuff a lot (like our work lives and whatnot) and he always kisses me goodbye, even if he just came to grab something that he left at my house…but this is where i am confused, he never invites me to come over to his house ( maybe because of his parents, but i don’t know) and it seems like I have to text him first, ALWAYS! Right now I am waiting for him to text first…and he dose not want to spend every single night with me, not that I am complaining I love my space, but he also still goes onto his account on the website too, so I am wondering exactly what this guy thinks of me? any help would be great please! thank you.
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i have been with my fuckbuddy for 4 years now and i have always had feelings for him , but he said at the start that he didnt want a relationship with me and that it was just going to be sex , so for 4 years we have been meeting up and also txting each other all the time but then he moved away but he always meets up with me when he comes back home then last week he said to me ” its weird how we have been fuckbuddys for this long and it as never been more” then he said ” we should of got together” then he came back a couple days later and i went to is house when we had sex this time it was more passionate and he as never been like that any other time when we have had sex so i thought that i would txt him and tell him that i love him but its been a week and i havent heard from him seen, people say to me that i should fuck him of and that i could do better but i cant help it , i think he does like me but he is one of them who doesnt like to show there feelings,do you think i should carry on meeting him as normal like nothings been said because i dont think i could not have him as my fuckbuddy any more cauz it has been so long, any adviceeeee?
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Okay so im so confused and is because I met a guy around 6 months it could of been 8 months but he disappeared on me but I met him in November and he disappeared around March and in the middle of April he got in touch with me well the point is that when we first met he took me on a date I had him waiting for me for 30 mins he left his friends to go on the date with me well after are date I didn’t see him after 2 weeks later we went for some drinks and we got it on we kept messing around I liked the guy but not to the point were I wanted to date him so I texted him one night and asked him what was he looking to have with me he replied by saying he didn’t want a girlfriend which at the moment was perfect for me cause I had got off a relationship and didnt want a boyfriend he asked me the same question and I replied to him that I just had got off a bad relationship and wasn’t looking for one I just wanted to be in the same page and not have misunderstanding so we choose to be fuck buddies but what had trip me out on are textes was that he told me he was feeling me more then he should be I really wasn’t sure what he meant by that and at the moment I didn’t care so I didn’t make any comment back to him I just left it as that and we kept doing are thing in tell the day he disappeared on me for a month in a half I was okay with that cause I wasn’t all in to him and I was already talking to someone else be for he disappeared on me and after the guy I was talking to became my boyfriend after I lost contact with him I didn’t bother to call him or text it wasn’t like I ever did anywas cause we never texted or called unless we wanted something and we still do.well lately we been doing things that fuck buddies shouldn’t do he invited me out clubbing with his cousin but he wanted me to bring a friend along so I brought my cousin and her friend I thought that being in the club he would ditch me and dance with other girls or at less talk to them so if he did any move on a girl I was ready for it but he sopprised me by dancing and kissing me and buying me drinks the hole night and when his cousin was around other girls that wornt my girls and pulled my guy to intrudes the girls to him I was right behind him and his cousin intrudes me as his “girlfriend” I didn’t say anything and he didn’t say anything he didn’t even mind he didn’t leave my side the hole night after the club I went home with him and I stayed the night with him something I never did the next day he had to go to work and he let me barrow his car he didn’t pick it up after 4 days later but it felt weird we didn’t say much we just hugged goodbye after that day we didn’t texted or call intell a week later after that week sanething happens we don’t text or call even if I want to I hold myself back because I been catching myself cuddling with him after were done having sex and we lay and talking about i don’t know what he hugs me tight and I like to pick on him we just been to cuddling with each other and is making me catch feelings and just this week that passed by he invited me to the same home town we both once lived were not from the same home town but we lived in a different town we share the same friends and we know about the same people when we showed up together everyone was shocked to see we knew each other and had met out of that town we partied and had fun but when my sister came to the party I didn’t pay no attention to him only when I seen girls around him and when my guy friends would come up to me and hug me I remember him being around me or close to me but not looking and when they would ask me for my number I avoid them or just tell them I’ll give it to them later but didn’t so on are way home which the ride was about an 1 and 45 mins we were talking and he’ll put his and around my shoulder while he was driving and playing with my hair but I was leaning to his side to be close to him or hell grave me by my leg and I’ll put my hand on his leg and he’ll place his hand on top of mine he asked me a question that he never asked be for and that was how long I was with my ex boyfriend I mean we really havent been taken the time to get to know each other or know more about each other well on are way back home I seen a pick of a babe on his phone so I asked him if that was his babe he said yes it was his two month baby girl and showed me the pic it hurt me cause know I was thinking about the time he stoped seeing me was around the time he’s daughter was born and it hurt me cause I came to realize I liked him and I wanted to tell him so be for he droped me off he took me to his place and he took his time to have sex with me I mean he kissed me all over my body something he never did not even my ex when I was laying down he put my hair to the side so he could kiss me on my check then we had amazing sex I’ve only had good sex with one person and now is him I mean do you thing is just cause we have great sex but when we have sex there’s so much feelings we haven’t been using condoms after the amazing sex we layed down and he was hugging me he seen the look in my face that I was thinking about something so he asked me what was I thinking about I didn’t want to tell him I was thinking about him not telling me he had a baby so I brought up anything he hugged me tight and just listened to me and how I was feeling then it slipped I told him I was feeling him and he asked me if that was bad and i said yes cause i shouldnt be feeling him like iam and it wasnt good cause I didn’t want to get attached to him cause we were just fucking I asked him if that was bad and he said MAY BE i didnt know what he meant but be for it felt more weird that it had already did I just told him it was okay cause nothing was gonna change I mean I dont even text the guy and neither does he text me he asked me to stay the night cause he didn’t had work the next day but I had to go home I didn’t want to stay cause knowing myself I was gonna get more feeling and every since then we haven’t talk or texted I don’t know if I scared him away I don’t if he even likes me I’m so confused cause I have a boyfriend and I don’t want to leave him and neither of them both know about it my boyfriend and I don’t even have sex and he hasn’t even asked me to you think you could help me rob?
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Robby G Reply:
September 21st, 2011 at 3:41 am
@Lost: He’s got feelings for you, and when a guy says MAYBE, that usually means “yes, I want to change things and have you as my girlfriend”. The fact that you have a boyfriend may complicate things obviously. I don’t know if he knows that you have a boyfriend, but depending on the situation, it may also arise boundary issues with him and that can cause him to get jealous and want for himself. The way he has been treating you, especially the last few times you’ve hooked up, I would bet on the fact that he has feelings for you and wants to spend more time with you. If you have a good chemistry then you should try dating. You said you didn’t want a relationship because you were coming out of a long relationship, yet you went and got yourself a new boyfriend. This may pose some confusion, and I really believe you probably share a big connection with this guy and could make it work if you put effort into expressing yourself more. Get to know him more, about his past, etc, and see what sort of things you unlock.
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My situation is,(short version) Fwb and at first we were really playing each other, eventually he let me know he “didnt want a girlfriend”. So i pulled back all the way…i would never text or call him the only time we would hook up was when he would call me and he would have to come to see me, which is an hour away. he comes at least once a week.
One occasion we went out and i got too drunk, he drove to my house just to take my kids to school for me, so i could be on my way to work. He’ll cut their hair for them (he’s a barber).
even though he knew i was talking to other guys (i would text them right in front of him) he still talks to me…its been over a year now. I stopped talking to other guys though just because i am tired of it and me and him get along so well i dont feel the need to.
when i see him, we go out to eat or drink and he pays for everything everytime…he talks about how we should do activities together like the beach, boating, amusement parks etc. he acts “jealous” when i get texts(he thinks its guys), or when i go out with my friends he’ll say i didnt give u permission…i just laugh it off, i still do what i want he isnt my man…but i do wonder in the back of my mind..could more come of this?
From other points of view…does he “like” me more than just fwb? or is he just a nice guy having fun.
which is the way i see it and i’m fine for now anyway because he might move around 9 hours away so i dont want to get too attatched. but i still wonder…input please?
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Hi. So I really need some help here, as does every other person on here obviously.
So I have a guy friend (we’ll call him Cam) that I’ve known for a very long time. I met him when I was in middle school (he lived down the street from my sister) and we went to high school together. We talked every once in a while and hung out rarely in high school. Since graduating, I see him a lot more. We see each other every weekend and Wednesdays at a practice we both go to and sometimes we talk and hang out there, sometimes not.
As long as I can remember he’s always tried to get with me. I had always rejected him that way, but about 2 months ago we hung out and ended up fucking. It was amazing. And since then we’ve become fuck buddies. Sometimes we won’t plan on it, sometimes we will, but every time we hang out it always ends in sex.
Before I tell you the rest, I’ll give you some background on “Cam.” He is a really big womanizer. If he wants a girl, he gets her and he fucks around A LOT. Since we are pretty good friends, he tells me about other girls he fucks and we talk about all his tricks. He knows exactly how to make a girl feel important and like he cares. And we’ve talked about girls and how much effort he puts out to get them.
Whenever we talk about me he always says I’m hot and whatever and he’s mentioned that he’s put a lot of effort into getting with me and he works for it every time.
Back to why I’m confused…
So I know he’s obviously good at what he does and knows how to work me into thinking I’m important but at the same time I can’t help but feel like I really am important to him. Whenever he comes over he never just fucks me (which I know is what he does with other girls). He always wants to cuddle and kiss me and stuff first. And it’s the same after. He just holds me and we talk about stuff.
And even with all that I still have thought to myself that he’s just playing with me to keep me fucking him. But about a week ago we were texting and I opened up to him (which I hadn’t really done before). I have been dealing with a lot if shit lately and I just needing to get some out. When we talked about it he was super caring and really seemed to want to make sure I was ok. He told me I could talk to him anytime I needed to and that he felt horrible that he couldn’t help.
Since that night he’s been kind of different. More caring I guess. He’s been really wanting to hang out (we haven’t seen each other since we talked). And has been trying to hang with me more during the day (which hasn’t worked between our work schedules). I’m not really sure what to take from that. Because it seems like he wants to hang out not to fuck but to really just hang out.
So now lately since he’s been so sweet I can’t get him out of my head and I think I’m really starting to have feelings for him, which worries me. I just want to know what you think.
Thanks.
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Hi, I need advice.. So I met this guy 6 months ago and we have been fuck buddies since then, at first he was just oh yeah we are just fuck buddies and thats it! He even told me he will nevr date me wheb we first started! As time passed by we became closer. Instead of just having sex we’ll lay down and cuddle and talk about our family,lives the things that we like.. We make jokes and have a good time together. Anyways.. I have not seen him cuz I went for a vacation but he kept talking to me even after I.told him all my feelings… Recently I asked him what he wants from me cuz its been a while that we have been f buddies and he said: I want your company, I like spending time with you. I feel comfortable with you, you make me smiley and laugh and I can be myself! So I.wanna know if I should keep trying or just give up cuz I fell for him… What do you guys think?
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dear Robby,
my bestfriend and i have had and on and off thing for almost a year. but when we dated it wasnt a steady relationship. and we ended it. but in the past 4 months or so we have become strictly Friends with benifits. I mean hes my bestfriend and i do love him. but recently i feel like the “sex” is becoming more. but i may be wrong. we have talked about it. i asked him what he thought about us. and he said i have mixed feelings. but when i tryed to talk about it he would freeze up and not want to talk about it. but hed get mad at me if i didnt want to talk about it. i have this guy i am curenttly talking to but i told him im not sure because i might still have feelings for my bestfriend. and i told my fwb and he said i dont know but im getting tired of hearing about this other guy. but he ignores me, and then gets mad if i dont text him back…. so i dont know how he reallly feels. i dont know if its just sex,and maybe hes jealous because im talking to someone else and is afraid to lose the whole friends with benifits thing. or if he reallly does have real feelings for me. the other day me him and one of my girlfriends had a threesome. and me and him were laying beside each other snuggling and holding hands and stuff when she left, and then he said so is this the last because of this other guy? and then he wouldnt talk to me, and then got mad today because i didnt text him back? whats up? i dont know?
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Hey Robby
Ok I have Been fucking this Guy for about 5mos know… We i frist me him My Ex had just told me that the was going back to his ex wife. i Met him A Couple of hours After that . I know for the Stated that it would just be sex with me and him but know i have Feeling for him and i dont know what to do . He Has A GirlFriend And He was Honest and told me when i frist met him.She Found out that me and him had been messing around and She is going to leave.I have Never told him to leave her b/c i already know form the start that he was with her.But About a month ago I told him that i had another friend But We are not having sex. He Got very upset. It seems that we both want to be more than Just Fuck Friends( or is it just me) . We Have Great Sex!!! He Tells me that He Missies me and that he has feeling for me and that he wants to be with me . I Tell him the same thing …. But Iam not sure if he really means it … . When we are together its Great We enjoy one another company we have ALOT Of FUN Together… I have met all of his friend and they like me . IDK Iam just Confused … Should I Let This Go Or Not .
Thanks From
SD
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Hi rob,here’s my situation,I’m married and my fucking buddy is also married.we are working in a same place.one time I had a issues regarding somebody jealous with me because of another guy .my fuck buddy talk to me asking if the acussation of the lady is true? And he believes that’s not true.he decided to stop but I don’t want to,he knows that I’m so stress because of the situation he came back to my apt.and do the same fuck every week we almost don’t skip since we doing that since march 2011.both of us can’t stop and he feels that im getting connection with him and I’m trying to hide because I don’t want him to stop sleeping with me.he staring at my eyes evrytime we fuck and theres always goodbye kiss and hugging every time we separate ways.last month was his birthday I really don’t greet him to pretend that I don’t know his birthday and I don’t care! He texted me and says that his birthday today so we fuck again .what do you think is he falling or just plain fucking is what he needs. Before he go home he visit me for 30 minutes just to fuck again.he used to do that every time that he had time.I’m falling and I need your advice what I’m going to do?thanks
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Ok so here Is short version of a complicated 9 year problem.
So when I was a silly 15 year old i met a group of guys at a party.
One 9 years later Is the best friend we have tried kissing maybe a few times just love him to
Much to ever go there. There were also two brothers at this party. Boy 1 and boy 2. Boy 1 was the
It boy all of the girls wanted him loved him he was your typical player. We texted a hung out when we stoped seeing
Each other our texting never did. Once I even took off I’n the middle of the night to drive to the school he had moved to attend. We had a good weekend but I’n the end some how he thought he could sleep with my friend i brought with me. Blah bad history very bad night I almost never forgave him. This I’s why I did on this trip i met big brother boy2
After 2 years him and myself started to actually kinda date. He took me to visit school a few weekend. Boy 1 was there as well. When boy 2 would give him any chance he was always there trying to get me back. Messed up right?
Anyways all of this ended I always stayed I’n communication with both even after i got married and moved out of state for 4 years. We were all I’n the same friend group so this was easy to do.
So The happily ever after did not work for me. I contacted the best friend I’n the group. We have great times talking drinking it up hey I’m newly single he Is doing a good job of keeping my mind off the uglies of divorce. Still no sex he I’s just the link. So one night we are out and boy 2 says he I’s so excited I’m home come to drink with us we all end up stayin at his house. I know what boy2 wants he thinks he I’s going to get laid. Ha well i was so happy with myself
My ass slept on the couch with the bestfriend no matter how hard he tried. I just was not ready. Some how i did manage to get ahold of boy1 shortly after. He started texting me again we were always the best lovers so it all came so easy. A few weeks into the text he just said text me your address I have to see you. Stupid of me but this I’s who I always wanted and now were adults and he still makes me laugh like a 15 yr old girl. So he I’s there with I’n the hour. We just hung out watch tv talked Alot at first. We ended up I’n my bed having what him and I now call High School Sex. It was amazing full of passion and never intercourse. After he left i was blown by how full of fire we were and trippin bc how did we not have sex. These kind of nights happen for awhile we both agreed up front we were not going to turn into fuck buddies. However that’s where we are now.
We meet up every weekend. We hid it from our friends till just a few weeks ago slowly he has met mine and I’m invited over more and more why the parties are being held at his place. So the relationship seems it might be going another way. Maybe? He I’s always sweet to me getting me what I need. Hour long body rubs be4 and after. The sex I’s the best i have ever had I’n my life. Our 3 hour sex visits have turned to all nights with friends over and me being asked to stay the night. We cuddle I wake up sometimes to him just kissing my neck or cheek. When i leave I always get the hugs and I miss you I’n text right after i walk out the door.He used to not be a cuddler either after sex we went back to tv Our phones now we are cuddled on couch naked under blankets holding each other and talking.So now i ask my self after all of the shit when we were kids. Remember i gave you just a little back ground. Is there anyways possible he really I’s missing me when i leave.? I live out of the state I drive I’n mostly just to see
him. So i know i have started to develop feelings but has he? I tell myself no I know him he can be anyones everything. He I’s just good at his game. However I’m really not sure.
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Oh i left out I did end up sleeping with boy2 once right be4 boy 1 and I started hooking up. We still get drinks talk hang out with friends. That’s it though i know he has tried to figure out why boy baby brother I’s not at the front of his mind I’m sure. Boy1 and I don’t hang out with the group unless boy2 I’s not going to be with everyone. Boy 2 I don’t think has ever told him either but we all know there I’s a past with the other one with years in-between. The only one who knows everything I’s the best friend. Sometimes i think boy1 might feel like we would be judged to much I’f boy2 found out. I tell boy 1 when i meet up with boy2 out down town casual like i said same circle. He has started to get mad at this. He ask about other guys and I can tell he I’s starting to get a little jealous. Property or he cares I’m unsure of that too. Please when you read this your going to think what the he’ll nasty there brothers they had years between then and we were also very young. Now were all adults I’m I’n management he I’s I’n medical school were not stupid back woods type of people just when things have happens I’n past they can effect how things play out now.
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Ok so i have been living with my fuck buddy for a month we sleep in the same bed when we aren’t having sex we are cuddling and last night he looked at me and told me he loves a part of my body…Is that his way of telling me he loves me or am i reading too much into it?
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Robby G Reply:
September 21st, 2011 at 3:42 am
@Really Confused: Reading too much I would say. Guys say things like that at times, especially if it’s kidding around or if they’re in an excited mood.
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Ok this may seem strange but I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I love him I guess but I can’t leave due to financial issues. Anyway I’ve had this fuck buddy off and on for about a year. We meet up occasionally and its non stop making out then great sex. We usually cuddle after for awhile then I leave. We are in the same circle of friends so we are around each other a lot. Whenever noone is looking he will pull me into another room and kiss me. Or when we are in a car by ourselves he holds my hand from the second we get in to the second we get out. When he was drunk one night he told me over and ove r that he loved me and the only person I could “cheat” on him with is my bf. I know he’s been with other girls too so why that comment?? I’m confused and don’t know how to take this. Does he have actual feelings or am I over thinking it. If he does than we have a problem
don’t know what to do!!
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Robby G Reply:
September 21st, 2011 at 7:48 pm
@UGH!!: Well that’s a tricky question, because if he truly was in love with you, sleeping around would make him feel somewhat uncomfortable. And I’ve been in many situations myself where the woman was taken and I have to say there is a new type of attraction that arises when you’re sleeping with a taken woman. I do not think it is true love, but this “want what you cannot have” feeling. It may be dangerous for you to leave your current boyfriend and see that the guy didn’t want you as much as he claimed, simply because you were a challenge and now you are completely his.
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Hey Robby G
I’ve only been in this FWB arrangement for a month now but I already feel like he may be wanting more out of it. We live in a city that old route 66 runs through so classic car shows and cruises, and one happened to be here last weekend so he asked me to go look at the cars with him, because he knows I love them. (so I took that as a friendly offer)Unfortunately I was busy.
Since I was busy then he asked me to go to a football game with him later (not such a friendly gesture since I don’t care much for the sport) But he got a migraine and his vision went weird so driving to the game was out of the picture.
However later that night he texted me and said to come over to his place and we would watch movies (Generally meaning the movies are an excuse and background noise so his roommate doesn’t have to listen to much.) and when I got there he said he actually just wanted to cuddle and watch movies…which was weird.
Even when we are just watching a movie he always has to be touching me, whether it be stroking my leg, holding my hand, arm around me,etc. I didn’t think anything of it until the whole football game situation. So I’m wondering if I’m just thinking too much.
I don’t see ever having a real relationship with him because we’re at really different parts of our lives (large age gap) and we have different values. But we both know how to get each other going.
Sorry this isn’t exactly a wonderfully worded story but I really would like additional insight into it.
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Hey Robby G!
Please help a girl with feelings out. so,I went out with my ex-boyfriend two summers ago before college. He got freaked-out that I was leaving for another state, and I got needy as he became distant. We broke-up mutually.
Through-out my freshman year, he text me, like when I would come home for break. or on Valentine’s day. he would say let’s hang-out but we never did. Over spring break last year, he came to a party my best friend had back home, because he knew I would be there. We made-out. that night, everyone slept over. he made references to when we went out as a couple. He cuddled me.pulled me in closer. he asked me if i remembered that we cuddled. I told him no i was half asleep. i did this because i wasn’t sure if he had just wanted to hook-up with me, and i knew i still had feelings for him. i was trying to keep myself protected. he didn’t text me after that .i assumed he got what he wanted and didn’t care about me.
when summer came around, he text me! he would ask if i wanted to come for coffee at his house at least three times. i couldn’t tell if that just meant “let’s hook-up at my house” so i would always reply sweetly that i was sorry but i couldn’t for whatever reason. sometimes he would write hey and i wouldn’t respond at all. at the end of the summer, he told one of my best friends that he still really liked me and i came to her house that night to see him.all three of us talked for awhile, and then just the two of us went to get ice cream. he payed. we then made-out in my car. after that, he came by my house two more times,at night, and we would talk for a bit. and then make-out. and then cuddle. the second time around, we did sexual stuff. not actual sex. but sexual stuff. we cuddled after that, and talked until i told him i had to get home. he told me he wanted to come visit me at my college 8 hours away. i was secretly happy, and asked him to pinky swear.
now, i’ve been here about 2 months. he texts me at least once a week or IMs me. sometimes we have funny conversations, but it almost always leads to sexual innuendos. i usually put him in his place, but a lot of times, i joke along with him. i never say if we will have sex. he always says he’s just joking. i try to keep it casual, but i can’t help wondering if he likes me, or is just doing this because he thinks he could get sex from me. you know, the whole chase thing?
i’m coming home in 2 weeks and he says he wants to see me and he’s mentioned going to the movies.he also told me tonight that he’s coming to my area soon and wants to stay at my place and made jokes about sleeping in my bed, lots of sexual innuendos. does he like me, or have i turned into the “booty call”? :/ please help me, robby! i have feelings for him.
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Hi Robby G
So I have a very complicated situation and I know all I have to do is ask the guy if he likes me more than fwb or not but I am too shy…I don’t want to know if it’s no lol Anyways~ Here’s the story, I’ll keep it short…So I’ve known this guy for like 5 years we take class together and I like crushed on him forever, but I was way too insecure back then & he started dating this girl so I got over it and I mean completely over it. But I didn’t go to class for a long time, went away for a while and discovered myself, gained confidence and what not and then found out he was newly single & out of a yr long relationship, well I was asked to back to class by the teacher and I still just figured he didn’t like me I I wasn’t crushing on him anymore but I started staying as long as I could just to hang out with him, I’m not afraid to be out there and flirt anymore so I was always flirting with him too, then one time we was alone he kissed me, I’m an independent woman so I took it further lol we cuddled then but I think I made a mistake because I’m not used to cuddling so I cut it short and sit up but whatever…anyways, so now every chance we get after class we hook up, and he mentioned once fwb but we’ve never stated what we are exactly, he started to ask once but I cut him off on accident then he said never mind lol Plus he has 2 friends that like me he says he can’t let them find out about us. Now I have this problem, I was cool with just fwb at first but now all I can think about is him & I’m crushing on him again, isn’t that crazy? I mean you don’t have sex with a guy for a couple months then start getting butterflies everytime you see him…He told me I can txt whenever but he never txts me so I feel weird just to txt out of the blue for no reason, plus I don’t want to seem desperate or clingy because I can’t even figure out if I want a serious relationship or not. I just want to know if he’s falling for me like I’m falling for him lol So here is a short list of things he does maybe you can help me see what they really are because my mind is so screwed up it tries to say your just being a girl stop over reading it and then I keep thinking maybe he does like me more than a fuckbuddy…#1 He picks on me in front of people #2 he always tells me about his day and what he has to do the next day or if he’s not going to make class he lets me know in advance like he’s including me in his schedule lol #3 We never talk about sex, he talks about other stuff, like school and work, then we just have sex then talk about other stuff again #4 He used to cuddle after sex but now we just talk after (probably because I acted like it was awkward the first 3 times lol) #5 He is always trying to impress me with tricks and stunts and showing off, attacking me playfully in front of classmates #6 He gets jealous of other guys that flirt with me, starts hanging right with me or walk off and start acting mad lol #7 Always asks if I met anyone or hooked up and is happy when I say no plus he sometimes says little remarks about other girls that I’m picking up as him trying to see if I’m jealous #8 He keeps calling us an “Us” or “We” like do I think anyone has found out about us or should “we” or asks me what I want to do when we hang out even if it’s not just us hanging out lol…today he stopped kissing me to talk about his friend who asked me out when I said I turned him down he smiled ant started kissing me again, plus while I was doing my performance for him and went to change the angle he kissed me on the forehead, it was so intimate like he kept doing little things like that but I don’t know enough about guys to know if they are just sweet like that, I thought being fuckbuddies he’d just be interested in getting it and pleasing himself but he’s always going out of the way to make sure I’m enjoying myself, now here is what makes me think he doesn’t like me more than fwb #1 he never txts me #2 We have been doing this for a couple months and he hasn’t asked me out #3 He hasn’t told anyone about us, which is good for my sake but I’m afraid it could also mean he’s embarrassed that it’s me idk lol…sorry this actually got pretty long but I’m pouring my heart out like a pansy because I never have feelings for guys but this guy is tearing my heart up & I don’t know what to make of it. I guess mainly what I’m asking is if a guy like me enough to fool around and acts nervous and flirty around me even in front of people but doesn’t ask me out, what’s up? Should I just ask him if we’re anything? I started to today actually but I’m so afraid to mess up what we have now by making him think I want to have a serious relationship because all I want is him to know I’m turning guys down because I feel like I’m cheating on him and I really hope the only girl he wants to be with is me lol I know how immature that is but it’s what I feel even though I hate it I can’t make it go away unfortunately. I would rather be fuckbuddied than nothing. Also I try to be a laid back more like one of the guys girl so we get along great even before the fwb thing started but if I did ask him and he didn’t feel the same would he want to stop fooling around? Thank you so much for reading this, I know it’s a waste of time and absolutely ridiculous but I really need help/advice from a guy because all my guy friends are his friends so I can’t discuss it lol
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I am very shying teen girl but i want a hindu boy who rubs me and fuck me hard.
please suggest me how can i get him soon.
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was wondering if you could help me?
I’ve been fuck buddies with a guy for about 1yr3months and now i practically live at his..i really like him and i dont know what to do!!
i met him through his sister because shes my best friend, she introduced him to me at a party a few months before we started goin at it and he said do you fancy a fuck buddy but i rejected him because it was too soon after my ex fiance and i didnt want to rebound on anyone, he has always said to me that we are friends with benefits and will never be anything else which im not sure about because he gives me mixed signals, like im not sure whether he gets caught up in the moment but occasionally while we are having sex or im giving him oral he says he loves me or he asks me if i love him and i really dont know what to say because if i say i love him i dont want him to go mad and stop being fuck buddies with me because i like it like this but would like to be more than fuck buddies! but when we are not doing anything he says he really likes me!is he afraid of commitment? i have had a lot of problems with my family recently and hes always wanting to help and he lets me stay at his practially all the time because of the problems at home, im not sure if hes just feeling sorry for me or does genuinly care for me alot as he cooks me food does my washing and doesnt moan about it! but he doesnt like it when i go out and he gets extremely paranoid and says if i sleep with anyone else then its over and he’ll never speak to me again! hes a very flirty guy when hes out and when i went out with him it didnt stop him flirting and i pulled him to the side and reminded him of what he said to me about sleeping with anyone else and he said im just being friendly i dont want to sleep with anyone but you.. and if i did want to i would have told you and you would know by now… im confused because i know he likes a girl abroad and he has spoken to her since he was about 13 but has never met her but is determined that he will soon and he doesnt know what the outcome will be!
when we go to bed we always cuddle and we dont always have sex also whenever we watch a film and say his mates are round he will still snuggle up to me on the sofa infront of them or cuddle and kiss me infront of them but if they ask he always says we are not going out, when we argue normally he turns around at the end and says im sorry i really care about you and i only want whats best for you!
i really like how it is at the moment but would like it even more if we were together but i dont want to jepodise it and im scared that the outcome will be that he completly rejects me! im so unsure its untrue im trying to pluck up the courage to ask him but i dont wanna lose him!! please give me some advice!
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Okay, so I’ve been seeing this guy for like 5 months. Within the past 2 I’ve really started to like him. But in the beginning, we talked about what we wanted from the relationship. He said “you don’t want to be in a relationship with me because I’m like 10 years older and have a kid and that he wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone else while we were hooking up but if he wound up doing it, he would let me know.” Well, at the time, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and didn’t want anything serious either. So I agreed. But now I’m not sure if he said that cuz he just didn’t want a relationship at all or just didn’t see one happening with me. I know he hasn’t had any relationships that have lasted longer than 6 months. We hang out quite a bit though and he does nice stuff all the time like make breakfast when I’m over (but maybe he would do this for anyone he cared about) and sometimes he does stuff that makes me think he likes me like the fact that he kisses me everytime we meet up and when I leave. We’re good friends but I still feel like he closes me off to an extent. I invited him to go on a roadtrip with me to see my family for thanksgiving and it seemed like he was giving me half bullshit excuses or faulty ones at the least cuz he thought it would be some sort of next step (but he knows before I invited him, I invited a couple of mutual friends of ours who wound up not being able to come, so he should have known it wasn’t like I wanted to take him as my boyfriend to show off to the family. Not anything formal like that.) Anyway, so he’s got me all confused. I haven’t told him I like him but he may be getting the idea. We always have fun together when we hang out and the sex is always great. Please help!
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Hey Rob,
So me and this guy met through mutual friends at which time i was dating one of them, however this particular friend he is not close with. We barely talked to begin with but eventually we ended up talking quiet a bit. As him and I both had partners it was never more than casual chatting but he eventually broke up with his gf and i started talking to him a lot more. I started developing attraction towards him and we went to a party together with some of our friends (My bf at the time was meant to go but decided he did not want to.) We were dancing against each other and eventually things got pretty close and we both realised that something would end up happening between us.
My bf at the time and I were having a lot of issues and because of this attraction towards the mutual friend i decided that it was best to end the relationship. Not too long after this relationship ended the guy and I began to hook up and became friends with benefits. This has been going on and off for the past few months. I know that I have feelings for him but we always talk and he has said that he does not want a GF at the moment. Recently I have recognised that he remembers a lot of things i tell him that i do not even remember telling him, is this him just paying attention and having a good memory or is he remembering them for a reason? Secondly i have recently been away for a week on a holiday, in which time it was his birthday so i sent him a birthday message and a cute photo of me drinking his favourite drink. We pretty much kept texting for the next few days and when he called he asked me when i was coming back and i jokingly said why do you miss me and he replyed yer i do. Then he asked if i was going to sleep with anyone when i was away.? Why would he ask this? Lastly i spoke to him last night and i was saying how i needed to lose a bit of weight that is why i am going to the gym, he then replyed with i dont need a skinny girl. I was taken back and turned it into a joke saying did he think that i was only going gym for him etc etc.
Am i looking into this too much or does it mean he may have feelings for me? I am so confused. And when he says he doesnt want a GF is that just meant towards me or in general
I am super confused and need help before i decide my next move.
xxx Confuzzzed please help.
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Hello Robby!
A co worker of mine gave me his number when I first started working at place of employment and tried to hang out with me a few times, but I was into someone else at the time. Eventually, I never heard from him again and forgot about him (he got a new job). Several months later, he came back twice looking for me, but I wasn’t there. The third time, I talked to him and gave him my number. We started going out on nice dates and had a really great time. I felt a great connection with him.
About two months in, I asked him what he was looking for and he said he didn’t wanna be single, but hadn’t found anyone who was worthy. I said eventually I wanted a relationship, but didn’t wanna rush into anything. Just wanted to take it one day at a time. He said “that’s what I like to hear”. Well, not too long after that, he started taking me around his friends to “see if I really wanted to fuck with him”. Well I don’t think I was ready for that seeing as I didn’t know where things were going or was probably thinking too much. Anyway, his friends seemed cool, but one I didn’t care for much at first. Other than that, everything went well, I thought.
Well, I was upset later because we didn’t have alone time like we were supposed to that day and felt like he was just making excuses. Again, I may have thought too much into it. The next day, we were texting like normal and out of no where he sends me a picture of his dick saying “this is what you’re gonna miss out on”. I asked why and he said “I don’t see us makin it that far” (I had said no sex before a relationaship).
Needless to say I was really hurt and we didnt talk for a long time, even after he came back to work. Eventually, I tried to get with him again,(couldnt let go) and for numerous reasons, including gossip, it didnt work. I tried other guys, but none of them made me feel the way he once did.
Several months ago (about a year later), he started being nice to me for no reason, flirting and trying to spark up conversations. In the past two months, we’ve hooked up twice as fuck buddies.
He always greets me hello and goodbye with a kiss on lips, he’s considerate of my house and is affectionate towards me. He kisses me a lot, sometimes on my neck or shoulders. Asks how I’m doing and what I’ve been up to. He apologizes and explains when he doesn’t need to being a fuck buddy. He sent me a text “my bad about yesterday. i was sleep all day but i need you today”.
I’m very confused because he was so nice then an asshole and now he’s nice again but it could all just be bullshit. Or maybe he’s still bein an asshole and I just don’t see it. I really do like him and want more and am ready to end this if he’s never gonna step up and give me more. Am I crazy?
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rob,
okay so here’s my story. in october of 2011, this really hot guy, jake, left a flirty note in an order from a resturant saying:
“ur gorgeous
i’m jake” with his number enclosed.
i waited a few days and i finally called him. that night we had talked to 2 hours and the following night he called me and we talked for another 2 hours. one time while we were talking he had to hang up and told me he would call me later. of course i was skeptical and to my surprise, later that night he had called me back and we continued our conversation like it never ended… like he remembered exactly where we left off. when we would talk he would tell me all these things that no guy ever told me- at least any that were interested in me and look the way he did! he’d tell me i was beautiful and gorgeous to name a few. i didnt know if he was just saying those things to string me along in order to get into my pants or if he really meant them because everytime i showed any sign of skepticism he would say something close to, “i seen a lot of women, and i’m very picky with my girls, and you are very, VERY beautiful…” i felt so good but scared that it was all b.s.
at the same time we would send eachother flirty and suggestive texts quite a bit. a few days after the 2nd call, he texted me “i want to come see you”. he had been trying to get me to sneak out and hang out with him if he picked me up, but i couldn’t do that without getting caught. so repeatedly i would tell him i wasn’t able to. finally he just asked if he could come over for a little. i reluctanly agreed. he showed up within the hour and he told me he wanted to kiss me so bad and after i allowed him to he told me he love my lips “they’re so soft…. it’s easy to kiss you”*. like a dumb-ass i giggled and he just smiled. i didnt let him stay long- i didnt want anyone to come investigate my prolonged time outside- and when he returned to his car he called me asking if he could come back. i said no and he turned on his car. i waited for him to leave but i saw his car was off and still parked on the curb. i told him he should leave once more and he left.
later that night i had texted him “wanna come over? i’ll sneak you into my room around 8?”. he said sure and he’d be over. he spent about 2.5 hours in my room. we talked for the longest time about personal things and silly things and the getting to know eachother questions. before we did anything he told me he wouldnt do anything i didnt want to do because he didnt want to make me feel like he was taking advantage of me; everything was at my pace**. we “made-out” inbetween our ideas for a conversation and if i didnt like where he put his hands or where i felt something was going he would stop. i thought it was a nice change from my last boyfriend who disregarded my feelings toward something.
earlier we had texted about the topic of sex…. there’s a 4 year gap between us so we were a bit more than worried because we’re both teenagers. he told me he wanted to but he was unsure if he should because of the age difference… he’s never “talked” with someone 4 years younger than him.
as it got later i decided i wanted to have sex with him… he asked me multiple times if i wanted to do it***. i assume he was trying to make sure i wasnt going to have second thoughts about it.
afterwards we both felt like we might have rushed into it. and we both said if anything came out of this i was going to be just friends with benefits, no emotion, no dating. he even said to me “sex is sex. i like sex. i dont see why i need to be in a relationship to have sex”****. i was over emotion at the time. i wanted the high of being close without the hurt if we broke up. at the time it was fine with me.
as the weeks went by i would sneak out to drive off with him to have some amazing sex and go home. but there was one problem, i was inadvertently starting to fall for him… TOTALLY against the no emotions part of the deal. sometime when i’d hit him up for a hook up he’d say he was busy and was gonna blaze with some friends… as it started to get more frequent i started to get irritated and have the urge to call him on B.S. we had sex less frequently and i found myself texting him a simple “hey” or something just to see if he would reply to me… i was starting to MISS him!!
about a month and a half to 2 months after i first met him he texted me:
“look i think you’re gorgeous but i think we should stop seeing eachother”
of course i was a bit more that pissed off… i was planning on telling him if we were barely gonna fuck i didnt want to do this friends with benefits thing with him anymore. anyway, i drilled him with questions about it over and over. some of his answers:
“its not you i just lose interest easily…”
“i dont want just sex, i can get that from many, many girls. what i want is for one to stand out…”
“everything i want you can give me, you just dont want to. you’ve done it before…”
we planned for him to come over a few days after this argument to give my a pack of cigarettes i had him buy for me because he’s 19. he rescheduled the date 2 times. the night he was supposed to come over he said he wasnt going to be able to make it. that was the last straw. i put him on blast. “jake, you’ve rescheduled this 2 times. this isnt how it works. we planned for this 2 days ago. not yesterday, not today. it was supposed to be 2 days ago. the longer you keep postponing this the longer i have to wait before i can forget you.” he replied and asked me if i was having a hard time forgetting him…. i guess i dug that hole myself. later on he texted me he was actually going to be able to make it over.
my plan- i was still mad at him- was to walk up to his window, get my things, and leave. so when i was at the window he asked me if i wanted to come for a ride. i said no not really. he insisted so i did assuming he had something he needed to tell me. we drove to the near by private park and kicked it there. i didnt exactly want to talk, i just wanted him to tell me whatever was so important and bring me back home. of course, there wasnt anything important he had to tell me, he just wanted to talk in person. god knows why he couldnt just text me.
he asked me if i still wanted to be friends with benefits.
i told him that i did.
he told me that if we did it would be under his conditions: what he likes, no complaints, when he wants. i thought it was retarded but my wanting him won me over.
after we talked about the details, he asked me if i wanted to do anything that night.
i told him not really.
he asked me a few more times and each time i said not really.
then i asked him why he was all of a sudden able to come. he told me it was because he cancled his plans with someone else because he wanted to be with me*****. that threw me off. after i told him i didnt want to do anything he was more than unsatisfied. i told he should just hit up some girl cause i’m sure he has a room full to choose from with his looks. again he told me he didnt want to, he wanted to be with me.
i told him to bring me home. reluctantly, he did.
when i got to my room i texted him:
are you upset i didnt want to do anything?
“yeah i guess a bit. i wanted to do stuff but you didnt.”
i told him again that he could just hit up someone else if he really wanted to hook up.
“i already told you. this is the 3rd time. i wanted to be with you”
when i didnt reply he said:
“if you change your mind i’ll turn around right now.”
i told him no.
weeks later i ran into him at his work. i was with my friend, he mom, and her litle brother. it was kinda awkward seeing him because he was working the drive thru and had almost no business being in the front completing my order when there was a long line for the drive thru. he tried to make small talk and i was just shocked he even would talk to me much less go out of his way to fill my order. later on he texted me that he wasnt tryin to make me mad (i guess i seemed mad?) in fact he was actually trying to make me laugh. to finish all his texts he would add smiley faces. was he trying to flirt with me legitly or was he just pulling my leg?
again, a few days later i ran into him again. like last time, he went out of his way to fill my order. on my way out i told him to check his phone more often… i imagine he checked it semi-often after though i didnt text him until a few hours later to ask what time he got off. i invited him over but had a condition: bring me to the grocery store really quick i need to get something. of course he decided he was too lazy. whatever. since then i’ve been thinking about him nonstop. everytime i pass his work which is at least 2 times a day or just randomly throughout the day. i still have feelings for him.
i’m not sure where we stand with eachother or if there is any chance i could get him to take a chance or warm up to me and the idea of a relationship. i have no idea what to do.
* why did he say it was easy to kiss me? he made it sound like that it came so naturally with me… more so than other girls. it was the first time we actually talked in person… could that have meant something more?
** why did he say he wouldnt do more than i was willing to do? was he trying to gain my trust so later on id just go with whatever he said because i thought it was in my best interest?
*** why did he ask if i was sure about sex so many times? did he think i was doing it to make him happy instead of me actually wanting to do it for my own benefit?
**** he gave me mixed ideas before and then all of a sudden this? how does that work?
***** again mixed ideas. either he was lying about the other girl or legitly wanted me over her. then again there’s also the other option- the one i hope it is- that he has feelings for me in some way and meant what he said.
help?
-aundrea
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Okay..I hope you can provide with me with some insight because this situation is killing me!
IAt the beginning of this summer, I moved to a different state. At the time I had a serious boyfriend of 2 years. Once I moved, everything between my boyfriend and I changed and we eventually ended up breaking up. At the end of August, I met Nick. Our personalities are very different and we have different opinions on many topics, but we had one thing in common and that was wanting someone to essentially strictly hook-up with. We started having casual sex and It. Is. Amazing. I’ve had hook-up buddies in the past but none if them even come close to the kind of physical attraction we have. In the beginning when we would “hang out” I would come over to his place, we would hook-up and then I would leave. End of story. However, as time has passed, little things have gradually changed. At first it was him inviting me to parties and social type things, but I would always leave after the party. Now, he ALWAYS asks me to spend the night at his place, and we generally have sex, he’ll take me out to dinner, and then we’ll come back to his place to chill and whatever else. I don’t know what to think of all of these mixed signals. Now, we always cuddle after sex(he initiates it) and then fall asleep together. I think there is a careful line between “fuck buddies” “friends with benefits” and people who genuinely care for one another. In the mornings after I have spent the night he always wants to cook breakfast for me or take me out to eat somewhere. When I first went into this I just wanted commitment-free sex…but as time has gone on, I have grown to really care for him which freaks me out. He has asked me to come shopping with him for clothes for formal type events, and confided in me about his family and friends etc. I don’t know if he is doing these things (such as taking me out to eat and shopping etc.) because he feels like I expect that or because he wants to. Also, he has recently started to kiss me outside of sex but it is always in a very casual manner…honestly, I’m beyond confused as to what his motivations are in doing these things and what he feels.
HELP!!! I just want an outsider looking in opinion about how he feels for me. I don’t want a “relationship” with the title with of girlfriend/boyfriend but I would like to know that he cares about me too. I am too scared to ask him how he feels about me because I don’t want to “scare him off” and loose him.
Please let me know what you think he feels/ doesn’t feel and how the best way to carry on is:)
Thank you sooo much!
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Hi there… Just needed some advice.. I’ve been doing this fwb thing for awhile now with the same guy.. It started 5 years ago, he had a girlfriend, and I had a boyfriend, we would get together every week or two.. We would meet at my friends house talk, have sex, cuddle, sometimes have sex again and he would leave.. That lasted about 3 months or so.. Then we only started to meet up like once a month.. Well then he got married.. n had a kid.. but he was still texting me.. n every now and again we would meet.. We didnt talk for like 3 years n last June he messaged me on facebook out of nowhere.. So we started texting each other again.. He wanted to meet up but I always made excuses.. I wasnt sure if I wanted to start lying and sneakin around on my boyfriend again, cause last time he found out but took me back.. Well needless to say I gave in n here I am again in the same boat.. Hes now going through a divorce so hes single.. I am in love with him, n kinda hinted around that I was.. after I did that hes now texting me daily.. We even had our first argument.. He wanted to come over and I said no.. he got really mad at me for not wanting to see him.. We get along great, hes very considerate when we are together.. He says sweet things.. But sometimes it all changes n I dont hear from him in a week.. I just wish I could understand men.. Any advice??
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Hi Rob, I just recently started a fuck buddy relationship but I’m worried he might like me more? When we play video games and the screen is on load he stares and smiles at me, tells me he likes my eyes more then my body. When I spend the night he pulls me into a spooning position to cuddle and he inhaled my perfume and buried his head in my neck and said I smelled good. He always made a speech on how cuddling gets you sentimentally attached, yet he is always the one who wants to cuddle. I’m confused and worried? Should we stop seeing eachother?
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Hi I was wondering you see where you put “The only time a man would want to hear about his fuck-buddy seeing other men is when he is trying to figure out an excuse to get out of the fuck-buddy relationship”. Do you basically mean they want to end things. I have been seeing a guy for about a year we have never aactually been in a relationship nor spoke about being fuck buddies but we have been doing sexual stuff together, it wasn’t until the last two months of the year that we finally had sex and we have only done it twice. I know he sees others girls but the other day when me and him were talking he asked me if I have had sex after him and he said be honest. I told him no that I haven’t and he replied with ok cool. So would you say he is trying get out of whatever this is between us? Also when we are together we will hug when we see each other, we’ll talk about what we have been up to since we last saw one another, then we will cuddle and kiss for a while. So what do you make of it? Hopefully what I have said makes sense. Thanks.
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Ok me and this guy has been messing around for about 6months now…jus sex twice a month. That’s the only time we call one another…well he has started saying stuff like I really like u and I can take care of you. Now he kisses me on the head when we have sex,and jus tried to cuddle the other day,wants to take showers together…and all this time he out the blue goes down on me… So does he have feeling or am I jus trippin??? #needhelp
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“Cuddling, holding your hand, and kissing you on the forehead means a whole lot. ”
Um I really STRONGLY disagree with this. 99 percent of guys i have fooled around with in the past do the cuddling, hand holding, sweet kisses thing and 99 percent of them havent given a shit about me as a human being, they all just wanted to sleep with me, even the ones who were considerate enough to call me their girlfriend for a few months.
i think some men just ENJOY cuddling and kissing your forehead, handholding, etc. but it doesnt mean they like YOu as a PERSON. i mean i cuddle my dolls and teddy bears but i wouldnt want to marry them…you know…
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well me and my best friend met on messed up terms his girl was cheating with the man i was with lol as ugly as that may seem we grew closer to each other and comforted each other when in need. i lived with a friend of mine at the time and he came over to spend the night a lot and every time it lead to sex,its like we couldnt not have sex if u know what i mean. i had told him later on that i had feelings for him and that kinda made him a little more distant than usual, and eventually he slowly but surely disappeared from my life. [ we talked on the pone but didnt see each other as much] i started dating and talking to others guys and when he did come around things got strange, he looked like he got along with my friends and the man i was dating at the time but then after he left me and the man i was with always got into an argument out of no where.[ its as if my fuck buddy had said something when i was out of the room and didnt realize it] so now i am pregant with my fuck buddys child and i am dating someone else, its seems like my ex fuck buddy has stepped up more as a father since he has know i am dating someone else. and he makes i seem like he has feelings now days but still doesnt come around except for some doctors appointments. so i guess what i am asking is my ex fuck buddy and father of my child just jealous or does he have feelings?
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Is he Only Interested in Being a Fuck Buddy?