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Don’t Get Attached too Quickly

16 August 2010 One Comment

So I met this guy through a mutual friend one night at a local bar. After a
few drinks and some jokes back and forth he took my hand and led me outside
and started kissing me. We exchanged numbers that night and him and I would
talk or text everyday. About 2 weeks later he invites me to his friends
house, kisses me in front of his friends and later that night we have sex.
Then we somehow have plans to go out but they fall through and we begin
having sex on a weekly basis. Then out of nowhere 2 months later he texts me
saying that he can’t do this anymore and that it’s over. I say some hurtful
things and delete his number. About 2 weeks later he calls me at 2 am and
invites me over and we have sex. Basically, this continues on a weekly or
bi-weekly basis. Then the other night in the middle of sex he makes a comment
about something and I got mad and when he asked why I was upset, I told him
it was why my dad died. He grabbed me, kissed me and held me telling me that
if I ever need anything I should call him. No matter what. Then he tells me
I’m the only girl he wants to be with and then says don’t get serious on me,
okay? And I ask is this all it’s ever gonna be and he said I never said that and
I don’t know what the future holds, just don’t get serious on me… Then he
holds me all night, which NEVER happens. I’m so confused at what we are and
what this is… Any advice will help.

Both of you are very indecisive and make rash decisions on a whim. I understand why you can get mad at him for saying something insensitive, but at the same time you don’t give off to many signals that you may want him as something more than just an occasional fuck partner. He, on the other hand, reminds me of a friend I once had. He would be as unrelaible as the guy you’re explaining. When he would hook up with girls, he would tell them whatever they wanted to hear and would genuinely mean them. The girls would obviously trust and believe him, but not even weeks later, he would act completely different. Then when things turned out bad, he would come up with excuses that would make complete sense and the girls would be once again hooked, because though they were mad at him, they never stopped liking him. Then again the cyzle would take it’s course. I’m sure that whenever you are with him you have a fantastic time and you wish it doesn’t end, but he always has a way of screwing things up due to his own unwillingness to commit. You however may find this ‘problem’ of his rather attractive because it instills a dose of mystery in him, making you misunderstand why you may like him if he continues to play such a hot again/cold again lover in your life.

Test Him

The best way to realize if he’s afraid of committment and will not be there to hold you in his arms in the long-run is to test him once more and see what happens. Talk to him, go out with him, see if he does everything a boyfriend would, but also give him the opportunity to be the one to reach out to you days or weeks down the line. If he continues to call you and keeps contact, then he does like you and wants to spend time with you. You may also want to go out with him but once not sleep with him, just to see if he calls again. Will he find that hanging out with you without reaping the benefit at the end of the night worth it? Or does he just call you to hang out when he knows there is sex waiting for him.

Try to withold your emotions if you can, and also ask if there is anything major going on in his life right now. Because sometimes it is family or other girl troubles that could be taking place in his life on the side that could be making him act like one day he is extremely into you and the next he is not willing to take it any further. If you discover that he has some serious issues happening on the side then you should probably let him deal with them first before taking it further. It also seems like committing to a girl does not come easy to him, so it is important that you do not get too attached too quickly, because unlike many guys, he begins to feel locked in when someone likes him and attaches new responsibilities (of a boyfriend) on him.

One Comment »

  • jenny said:

    I’m still so lost… This thing we do is still continuing but its happening less and less… Ill drunkenly call or text him wanted to have sex and he’ll come up with some excuse on why he’s busy or tired or sleeping and them the next day he’ll apologize and then last saturday he calls me as I’m falling asleep at 4 am and invites me to his hotel room an hour away and I like a drunken retard drive to him and we have sex with his friend passed out in the bed beside us. As usual I fall asleep for a few hours and then leave without him so much as saying goodbye. I’m pretty sure I don’t mean anything but sex to him and I just need to know if its worth sticking out for a maybe or if I should walk away… And if I do stick it out what should I do?

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