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Dumping a Boyfriend for a Fuck-Buddy

10 December 2009 One Comment

hey ok im gonna start with some background info, im in a relationship that
isnt working we have a young son together but i dont want to be with him.
his family are coming over to ours for christmas so i cant fin with him till
after xmas. but then even after xmas we have a hol booked in may together
its just a mess really. anyways i went to party and met some guy there i
ended up giving him my number we txt 4abit nd arranged to meet. we got drunk
nd i ended up back at his place nd had sex nxt day he txt saying wanted 2
meet me again so i did this time 2 watch a dvd at his place which we did nd
had sex. he neva txt 4 a few days nd by this point im thinking he is drop
dead gorgeous nd i wana c him again.im thinking i wana go out again for
drinks, pics,meal or something but wot ends up happein is i txt him nd end
up meeting him at his house again so now iv turned in to his fuck buddy!
Then i go out on the drink with my mates nd go bk to his mortal have sex a
few times nd i blurt out i want to b wined and dined nd took out and stuff
and that this is the last time we r havin sex unles i get those things. plan
backfired! he said he didnt want a relationship because he wanted to go
travellin nxt yr and doesnt want anything to tie him dwn bt he stil wants 2
c me. wel i took a huff nd left he sent me a msg tht night saying ‘i hope i
havnt upset u nd would like to stil c u bt if u dnt want 2 it was nice
meeting u’.i replyed ‘nice meeting to 2’. then he said ‘i really hope i
havnt upset u ur the kinda girl i would go 4 bt im nt looking for a
relationship’ nd i replyed ‘its ok dnt worry bout it’.nd its jus been left
at tht. bt nw i cant stop thinking about him nd hopin tht he wil txt so i
can go c him bt its been 2 days nw nd im dying 2 txt him btdnt no if i
should. in my ideal world i would get rid of my bf after xmas nd start
dating my fuck buddy/ex fuck buddy. i no i might sound shockin on my current
bf but he is a dickhead nd treats me bad so plz dnt judge me. nd i was want
2 add about the 1st time i met my fuck buddy he said to me that he partyed
quite alot bt he was wanting someone to pull him away from all that. bt when
i ask for more off him than sex he came out with tht bollox about wanting to
go travellin. i just wish i had played abit mre hard to get nd nt let him
have sex with me so quik coz  all he wants from me is sex 🙁 help plz asap

Native Winds
Well if he was pretty persistent on trying not to hurt you and he actually kept texting you until you said, “it’s ok don’t worry about it” then that’s like saying, ‘forget it, and basically thanks but no thanks for everything you’ve done.’ The thing with your boyfriend can easily be resolved, and that’s by breaking up with him after xmas if he treats you bad. You may want to think about how you’re going to resolve the whole thing with your son and who will keep him and whatnot though, before you make rash decisions.

The current fuckbuddy however seems like quite a player and his whole routine that he wants someone to come and pull him away from the whole party scene seems like he’s just bluffing. Also, since he’s so into partying and is planning to travel, he may not know what he exactly wants himself. Notice that when you were easy to get, he texted you to only come over and sleep with him. But once you blurted out that whole thing about wanting to be wined and dined, he gave you an excuse but he still tried to make sure you were okay and that you weren’t emotionally hurt. So basically you need to play on that. Call him back and act like nothing is the matter. Don’t bring up anything from the past. Don’t mention that you want to break up with your boyfriend until you actually do break up with him. And just keep talking to him over the phone. When he asks if you want to meet up, either ignore that text message or just text back saying you will let him know later and never actually get back to him. All you will need to try and do is establish a relationship with him by restarting everything that was happened between the two of you. Since you already know that he will say he doesn’t want a relationship before he goes to travel, do not bring it up anymore. Instead, once you ignore going out with him once, the second time he’ll ask to meet up, it will feel like an accomplishment to get to see you. He will most likely ask you to come over, but tell him you’re feeling hungry and know a nice place around that you think you two should eat first. Don’t sound like you’re pleading with him, but instead make it sound like a pre-determined fact for the evening. It should sound something like, “Well, I wanted to go out for some food before that, so we should have dinner at “(restaurant name)” at “8”. If he starts making excuses then don’t compromise, just tell him you don’t want to order in pizza and that you actually wanted to get a real meal and it’s alright if he doesn’t want any food, there’s no pressure. Say you’ll just get some food on your own, but you’re not feeling like going over to his place anymore that night. And the next time you’re at his place, don’t give him the satisfaction of sleeping together. Make up and excuse like you’re on your period. This will make you two do something that is besides sex. This way you’ll also be able to connect more by talking and hanging out.

Slowly but surely you’ll get to him and he’ll start treating you like a girlfriend more than a fuck-buddy. Try to introduce him to some of your friends (unless of course if you’re scared this will get your current boyfriend to find out) and get to know some of his buddies. So… try not to give him the satisfation of always getting what he wants, but instead manipulate him by giving a little and then pulling back with excuses. Sometimes in order to get a fuck-buddy to be a boyfriend, you need to act a little mean. He’s used to getting it without a problem, but not make him work for it a little. And once in a while when you see he’s been nice and took you out to dinner and proper dates then do what you would normally do on a date, and have sex with him on your own “girlfriend” pace rather than “fuck-buddy” pace.

Hope you get the best of both worlds, though it doesn’t always work out for the best for all of us.

One Comment »

  • Carlos said:

    I think you made a good point here but I’d add that you shouldn’t try to rush this. Be careful so he doesn’t catch on to the fact that you’re trying to get him to become your boyfriend even though he said he’s not interested in it.

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