Home » Breaking Up, Friends with Benefits

Ending a FB Relationship

27 November 2010 3 Comments

Hi Robby,
I’m going to try to make this as short as possible. My ex boyfriend whom I
started dating more than 12 years ago while we were in high school, have a
baby together. We dated for 1 year in high school, he was my first, then he
cheated on me my senior year and we broke up. We didn’t speak for about 2
years then ran into each other. We immediately started fucking again at
least once a week, this went on for 5 years. We both had relationships with
other people meanwhile we never stopped fucking each other. I got pregnant
and he moved away for a year half way across the country with some girl he
supposedly was going to marry. Never called or came to see our baby for a
year. He called one day after we had our court hearing for custody after he
pretty much didn’t get anything and told me he was coming home. We
immediately started fucking again, and now it’s 5 more years of us fucking.
90 percent if my friends are guys and I have heard I’m the perfect fuck
buddy who doesn’t break the rules, I think that’s why this 12 year Saga has
gone on so long. You have to tell me some way to get out of this, it’s
starting to get to me.

There’s nothing to this but having real solid self-control. Now, that’s much easier said than done, but if you are able to not break rules and be the perfect fuck buddy then it already says something about you–that you are able to master your own emotions and hold control over your desires and wants. You have to apply that control to the process of ending your FB relationships. This will require you to distance yourself from certain people that you tend to get into situations where you may end up in bed, such as your 12 year long FB. Initially, the distance will be important so you yourself get interested in things that will keep your mind off sleeping around for fun. Also, telling him that you don’t want to be his FB any more can be helpful if he’s an understanding guy and won’t push for it anymore. Even deceiving him by telling him that you’ve found a serious boyfriend who you do not want to cheat on may deter him from wanting to sleep with you anymore if he respects your wishes. If not, however, you will simply need to cut ties with him and be more independent. Put that time into finding a man that will want to be in a more serious relationship with you, and do not just “fuck around” but actually let them chase you and want to continue dating you. Dates are really important if you want something serious, because that way you two learn more about the new man rather than giving him the impression that you do not care much for him as a person but are interested strictly in sleeping with him.

Afterwords you may want to change the way you present yourself when you are with him or any other man that may see you as only a potential fuck buddy. By that, I mean you should try to give off a vibe that you are not one to only want a FB or at least you’re not interested in making it seem that you are not the type of get involved in such relationships. I’m not trying to criticize FB relationships, because I personally think they’re great, but if you are trying to get out of that field, then you must make men believe that that sort of thing is not for you. And to be honest, it all depends on your current situation. Some want a serious relationship because they may need the emotional support, others just want sexual relief so they get a fuck buddy, and others are too busy for any of that so they focus their attention to business or something else that interests them. It all depends on how you present yourself and what you value at that moment. So if you can practice self control and present yourself a certain way then it shouldn’t be difficult to end your FB relationship.

3 Comments »

  • Confused and Curious said:

    Hello. I will try to narrow this down. A guy that liked me in school got back in touch with
    Me recently and said he was looking for an out of town lady. I was currently living in the same city but didn’t tell him that til our first date. He wanted a relationship then and said he had some things to tell me as well. But when I told him I lived here…he decided not to tell me his news. He still said he was interested so I started being more
    Open to dating him. As time went on we had sex which was the best I ever had and
    What I needed. I wasn’t ready to commit yet but slept with him anyway. Weeks later he lost his job but told me before he lost the job. I found out that he had recently
    Been released from jail and did 2 years. He would act weird and play these
    Mind games so I knew something was up. He then said he wasn’t ready for
    A relationship but didn’t tell me right away. So now…I don’t know if
    I should keep sleeping with him just for the good sex or move on and
    Cut him off completely. He says he has to find a job first
    Before he gets into a relationship but I’m wondering if and how long
    That may take. I don’t wanna cheat myself outta being satisfied sexually but emotionally either. I refuse to sleep around either. Am I wasting my time or should I keep my mouth shit and wait for him to get things together financially ?? Help.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    Well is all depends on the type of person he is. I’m sure you know this, but to many people who don’t know anything about convicts, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re people who you shouldn’t affiliate with just because they did time. He is having job issues, and I’m not surprised because it usually is difficult to get anything stable when you have done time. So if he is a decent guy who has been good to you and also satisfies you sexually and emotionally then there is no reason to just leave him. Stick it out with him, get to know him better, but at the same time treat him like you would any other guy who was to be in your life. If he does anything that you’re not happy with and it continues after you’ve explained it to him then by all means move on.

    Reply to Comment

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