Friend turned Friend with Benefits
Hi Robby G! I have a friend and I like him so much and he doesn’t have an idea about it. We’ve been friends for quite a long time now. I have a boyfriend and I really try the hardest just to ignore my feelings to my friend. Well, it’s not that I want him to be my boyfriend or I’m madly in love with him, it’s just that I really like him. I love the way he carries himself, so cute. He is single and he hooks up with a lot of girls. He’s having the time of his life I must say. We went to a bar one night. Got drunk and really had fun. My boyfriend left because we had a fight. I was just shocked, the next thing I knew was we were kissing. On the way home we acted as if nothing happened. We had sex and agreed that it was just a mistake and sworn that we would never do it again. But it happened so many times. The weird thing is, I know he would be the last person to like me because he used to tease me around and be the meanest person to me. What does it mean? Is he really doing it for lust? Can you have sex with someone you’re not attracted to?
When he gets drunk, he calls me up and asks me to meet him but I would play hard-to-get to feel a little thrill. The last time he called and asked me to meet him, I told him to pick me up and he did!! Is he really in need for a booty call that I am his last option or I am the only one he loves doing it with since he told me he does so I’m his only option. And do you really kiss your fuck buddy goodbye? because he does. I just can’t figure out if he likes me or not. That’s what I only need to know. Please help me 🙂
You can’t figure out if he likes you or not because that’s the game he’s playing. Based on what you said, however, I would say that he does have fun with you and gets a thrill when he’s with you, but I think part of the thrill is that you two are not officially dating, but merely sleeping around. He calls you when he’s drunk to come by and sleep with you, which does tell me that he is interested in you as a booty call, but since you two were friends long before that, it also gives him the comfort of being completely open around you. I think this has room to develop into a real relationship but it will take a lot of work. The way you explained him gives me the idea that he’s definitely not the type to settle down and be with one girl. Nonetheless, there are times when a man gets sick of just sleeping around and wants someone to get attached to, and he may be at that phase right now. The good thing is that he is not going out of his way to make you feel like you’re simply a friend with benefits, but instead he makes you feel like you’re someone he cares about, because he sincerely does.
To answer your question about if it’s possible to have sex with someone who you do not have an attraction to–yes, it is possible, especially after a few drinks. However, I do not think that this is the case here. He does have an attraction to you, and my biggest concern if I was you wouldn’t be if he likes you or not, but if he is interested in giving up his single life to be with you. Also, though this is not necessarily true for all men, but when a man hooks up with a girl who at the time had a boyfriend, they may be skeptical about dating that woman because she has a track-record of cheating, so there is always that chance that he may think that you will do it again because you are capable of doing it, and you have done it in the past. I believe that he knows you like him and he’s sort of playing it cool for now, but with time you will see what sort of thing he is looking for and if you bring up the subject then depending on what he says and how he says it, you’ll be able to read him and see if he’s interested in a relationship with you.