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From Friends to Lovers

15 May 2011 No Comment

So me and this guy Matt met 3 years ago in college. We went on numerous
dates, he took me for dinner, coffee, movies, etc, I even met his mother
several times. After maybe 5 or 6 dates he never made a move on me and i
eventually started to date another guy for about a year. Last winter Matt
and I had 2 more dates, and still no move. Recently, I went to his house to “catch
up” and at last he asked me: Gaby can I ask u a question? yes Matt. Its like
really out of context, but i really want to kiss you, would that be okay? I
obviously said yes and before i knew it we were in his bedroom having the
best sex of my life. He is extremely “gifted” down there and knows how to
pleasure a woman. usually, we smoke a joint after sex and talk a bit. we
somehow bonded on the fact that relationships are bullshit and that what
other is sex. the sexual attraction is intense and We’ve been fucking several
times a week for 3 weeks now. Although, he often hugs me so tight during
sex, like every time he holds me in his arms and squeezes me. he kisses alot
and also likes to cuddle with me, point being we’re not just fucking, its
kinda romantic sex. Sorry for all the details but i need your help. So I
gave him oral pleasure three times out of mere generosity, and he has yet to
go down on me. yet, every time “we get together”, he bluntly yet subtly
asks me if i cud give him head like *cough* cough
* bbeeeejayy cough cough* he said he has a bad experience with a girl who
was very smelly down there.
anyway, i want him to go down on me. and also i am scared i might like him,
does he maybe like me since we went on several dates and i met his mom?
hope u coud help me

He took you out on so many dates, didn’t make a move, and finally asked if he could kiss you. From the start, I can say that he’s either not too experienced with getting women to sleep with him too quickly; really liked you and didn’t want to ruin it by having sex before having the emotional attachment; or was just nervous because he was getting mixed feelings from you and thought that you may only want to be friends with him. The fact that he’s good in bed could mean that he has had a fair share of past experience, however, it is often the problem with guys who fall into the “friend zone” that they do not really know what will happen if they DO make a move. He took things to the next level and asked if he could kiss you, and I’ll tell you something, that must have taken some guts! I actually know someone currently (don’t want to name names) who is in the friend zone with a girl and not only I think she would be cool with him if he made a move, but I keep suggesting that he does it. He shies away from it because once they had a conversation and she said she’s not interested in a relationship, but he has to recognize that she said that because she also does not want to look desperate. It’s horrible to see when two people that like each other play these games and never end up together simply out of lack of confidence and being afraid that even their friendship will be ruined if one of them isn’t interested in something more than friendship. Either way though, I tip my hat off to Matt for going through with finally pulling a move even though it took so many years. By the way, the longer the friendship lasts, the harder it gets to make a move.

Now, about him going down on you, that’s personal preference, and usually an ultimatum may work. You don’t give him head until he goes down on you. It sounds childish, but if you’re hot and heavy getting into it, and you say you’ll give him head if he returns the favor than most likely he’ll give it a go. Don’t do it when he’s got nothing to lose, but if he’s horny (and maybe a little drunk) then he won’t think twice. About your concern if he likes you or not, don’t worry. He likes you and I feel that there is a nice future for you two. If you keep that friendly wave of air around and do not create additional problems and issues as many couples tend to do who jump into relationships too quickly, then everything should be fine. I personally believe that the relationships that tend to last are the ones where the two have known each other for a long time and were friends in the beginning. But those who jump into relationships without knowing the person too much tend to discover new facts about their better half and that better half becomes less and less suitable for them. So do not feel too nervous about falling for him, because he sounds like does like you and wants to make it work. The fact that you met his mom doesn’t really mean too much, I think, because sometimes it’s just a very casual thing and she may have met previous girlfriends or just friends of his as well and it meant nothing. However, you should focus on the notion that he did take you out on so many dates, he didn’t take the whole relationship for granted, he prepared himself to make a move, and he has passionate sex with you. These are all indications that things should work out well. Worrying about if he likes you or not tends to be more of detriment in the long run. So the faster that you fully accept him, the faster your relationship will move along further.

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