From Fuck Buddy to Girlfriend
So my situation started with a weekend away – he had a gf at the time but
we still ended up hooking up….on the last night he said he couldn’t take
my number as it was “complicated” but would add me on fb which he did a few
days later. We then just used to dirty chat over instant messenger and I
sent him private messages when drunk.
He ended up breaking up with his gf and we got into a fuck buddy situation
but never set out any rules as such….I saw him 8 times in just under 2
months, he used to text me everyday and to be honest I found the whole thing
really confusing. Think the whole big issue was that I really liked him and
didn’t admit it and pretended I was happy just being fb’s (I have never had
a fb before).
So the other nite I saw on his fb some girl had written about him going
round her mates for dinner the nite before…I know it shouldn’t have
bothered me but it did. I ended up texting him asking if he was seeing
someone else and if he was fine as there was nothing between us but that I
wouldn’t text him anymore. He said no I am not seeing anyone and I knew he
would say that…I mean WTF!!! I decided to not reply, delete him on fb and
delete his number.
I haven’t heard from him since, and part of me really wants to text him but
part of me knows I shouldn’t coz I want more than he is willing to give.
What do I do now?
This is a typical situation many men and women go through when they are in a strictly sexual relationship and then discover new emotions towards their fuck buddy. I had a few times where I liked a girl and if she didn’t show me the same affection I would delete her number and stop talking to her, trying to forget her. And that’s exactly when I learnt my biggest mistakes. When you give up on it and when you decide to forget about it and keep the pain internal, no one wins. The last time I had done something so rash and illogical was quite a while and and ever since then I took things less seriously and do things much more rationally. Now in your situation it’s best to really think about what you personally want. Do you want to be with him as a fuck buddy, a girlfriend, or do you want to have nothing to do with him? Only when you know what you want can you pursue it.
If You Want Him All to Yourself
You must devote some time and patience into it. Men love to chase women. Even though he may have already slept with you, it’s important for you to not act desparate and call him too frequently or “stock” him on facebook. Act and try to be as carefree about his other girls as possible. You two are not in a relationship so you actually do not have any rights to act protective over him. I may be blunt and too direct with my advice, but I’m just telling you what is best in your interest. If you want him all to yourself then try to stimulate some interest in him. Start by messaging him on facebook with nothing more but a funny message, but in a form of a question so he has to reply to you. Then when he replies, write another message on his wall, but this time saying something like, “You should give me a call sometime.” If and when he does, you should try and play it slow. Don’t be too hard on him, act mysterious, and really lure him in by not being afraid to be flirty without putting out too easily. Guys want to have fun and if you’re willing to show that you’re enjoying yourself when you’re with him, but at the same time not putting all your hands on the table then you can easily make him want you in return.
Remaining Fuck Buddies?
Now this can not be easier. If you want to keep a fuck buddy relationship with him, then simply say it to him. I have had quite a few fuck buddies and the one I enjoyed most was when the girl and I spoke very openly about the subject. I would call her whenever I felt like I needed to unwind and she’d call me whenever she wanted to have a good fuck. It lasted a while and then she decided to go out with a guy and decided to be faithful to him therefore she clearly told me she thought it would be best if we would stop our little arrangement. I respected her desire and we basically stopped talking after that. So most importantly you need to set ground rules with him if he is mature enough to discuss them… that is if you want to remain being fuck buddies with him.
What to Do, What to Do?
If you’re saying that though a part of you wants him but the other part believes that you want more than he is willing to give then you may want to try and distance yourself for a few weeks and see how it goes. Get engaged with hobbies or work, get out more and find other guys that may be interesting, and just fill in the time you spent thinking about him with other things. Over time you will forget about him, if you are sure that you want to do that. But be sure what you want exactly before taking any of these advice. Don’t put too much thought in what he says or does, instead focus on your own interests and pursue them. Make sure that you’re wasting your time on him and give him more credit than he deserves. If he was really interested at this point then he would be strong effort to date you, but if he sees that you’re being too desperate then he may see it as a turn-off. Remember, you were already fuckbuddy’s so he definetely finds you attractive. It is all about what you want to accomplish with him and the way you act towards him that will get him to either want to date you or have nothing to do with you.
I hope those advice were helpful. Please leave a comment with your thoughts. For anyone else who needs any advice on dating, leave me a message.