Fuck Buddies with Chemistry
Hey Robby, I recently stumbled onto the site and I have a question… I’ve
been messing around with this guy since the fall of 2007. We went to the
same highschool and I actually had a small crush back during my junior year.
We chilled one night at a football game(I was wasted and he helped me out
took me home, cleaned my car, etc…) after that game we started “talking”
things where going great and it all seemed perfect and then we had sex. He
was only the 2nd guy I had ever been with and I took his virginity. After we
hooked up I became clingy (i know now that’s why as he told me later down the
road) and I pushed him away. we ended it and I moved on. Within like 2
weeks of me moving on, I hooked up and started talking to his best friend
Kyle. I went over there one evening only to see him sitting in Kyle’s floor.
He became super pissed at his buddy and said fuck you kyle and pushed past
me to walk out i blew it off and didn’t go after him. The Kyle guy ended up
being an ass and we never went anywhere with it honestly i never wanted it
to i just wanted to hurt Michael as much as he had hurt me and i think it
worked he stopped texting me and we didn’t speak… About 8 months later I
texted him while I was drunk and we ended up doing it at his station (he
is a firefighter) we then entered into this fb relationship…. He will kiss
me and he always tells me how amazing I am (at sex/head) and we always
smoke a cig and talk after normally laughing our asses off at something or
someone. This continued until I got involved in a serious relationship with
this other guy which rested in me becoming pregnant, the other guy bailed on
me and I was left alone. But Michael and I started to talk and text again.
Lately I’ve been having really strange and strong feelings for him and when
he comes over we have sex for a long time (foreplay, oral, fantasy & even
at times kinda passionate sex) he always hugs me and most times kisses me.
He has even picked me up several times and drove me home from the bar
recently I’ve decided I wanted to try and be more but found out he may move..
He has discussed this with me multiple times and we always end with how I’d
miss him and he says I’d miss you too girl. How can I make a move but not be
too clingy or fast. I want to be his GF not his FB but at this point I don’t know how
or if I can even do this… I think I hurt him badly in the past and now he
is too afraid to be with me? Or do you think he just wants me for a good
fuck. He doesn’t like when I mention other guys and said my son’s dad was a
complete fuck and a waste of human flesh. What, if any , chance do I have in
making him mine?!! I’d do just about anything to make him happy and at this
point I cant imagine him not being around. Please help!!!
It sounds like you have great chemistry together and that’s something that’s irreplaceable. The way to draw him in more and develop a serious relationship with him would be to play on that chemistry. Use it to your benefit. It’s this fact that when you’re with him, you two have a great time and laugh and are very compatible, both sexually as well as non-sexually. That’s a difficult thing for many people to come by and usually there are elements that either one or both of the partners do not find fitting in the other person. You two, however, seem like you share something that is beyond enjoying each other only due to how you perform in the bedroom. Even though you have hurt him in the past, it doesn’t sound like he holds it that harshly against you. It’s really crucial that you communicate with him, and you have a relationship where you do not deceive each other or try to undermine one another. You must show him that you’re past the stage of playing games and you’re ready to be more serious. Again, use the chemistry you have to show him how great you are together. Do not explicitly tell him that because you see there’s chemistry that it means you must be together, but do tell him how you personally feel. For instance, while you’re having a laugh throw in a comment that you’ve never had so much fun with anyone. Don’t over do it, but plant in him the idea that you really appreciate his company. Over time he should realize himself that it is in fact spending time together with you and he should do it more often.
Spending time together outside of the bedroom is also key. Call him out a few times to hangout somewhere that you two enjoy. Go out on dates and allow him to get used to doing things together with you, and this should get him to get used to treating you like his girlfriend rather than just a fuck buddy. Also, one important thing where many girls tend to screw up once they feel very comfortable with a man, is they stop reading him completely and think that he’s in a chatty mood all of the time. Sure, you like him, and sure if you’re in a great mood then you want to talk to him and have a long fun conversation. But if you’re not there with him and are only chatting through text on any given day, you don’t exactly know what he’s thinking at the time. So if you see that he’s taking long to reply or is giving short 1-2 word answers then he’s probably in no mood to joke around and talk in general, so it’s best to just not say anything else and wait until he contacts you or just contact him the next day. It’s moments like that, when women still continue to act friendly while the guy isn’t interested in any conversation that make him feel some repulsion and pushes him away from her. Just as he has to read into your mood, you have to read into his, and act according to it if you want this relationship to work. Things can’t always be perfect, but if you’re cordial while being understanding then there’s no reason why things shouldn’t work out as you want them to.