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Fuck Buddy: Go Beyond the Sex

30 December 2009 5 Comments

So I met this guy at a bar while at school and he lives in the same
area I do when I am at home. We hooked up the first night we met, and since
have hooked up twice and are planning another. He often asks me to go out
with him and we send flirty texts, but told me he has had sex with another
girl. I am starting to like him, but I also know he could just be saying
things I want to hear to get some. What should I do? Does he like me? Should
I tell him I like him and want him to get rid of the other girl? Or is being
a fuck buddy a permanent relationship state?


What Should I Do?

In your situation, if you want him to be your full time boyfriend instead of just a fuck-buddy, you will really need to set some ground rules for yourself. First, you need to stop meeting him just for sex and try to incorporate some dates into the mix. Dates where you actually do things that don’t involve any sexual activity, but ones that you’d go on for the sake of being with each other. He may initially think that he will get lucky at the end of your dates, but you must be explicit with him and try to figure out what he is really Haley and Michael
after. Feel him out and ask him questions about relationships and what he thinks about them. Talk to him about the other girl and see how he reacts. I can’t really tell you that he likes/dislikes you because I just can never know through a single paragraph of information, but I’d say that since he’s into sleeping with you then there is a higher chance of him liking you enough to feel a sexual chemistry rather than not wanting to sleep with you at all. You should try to take things a little bit slower, but nothing drastic. Don’t cut him off cold turkey, but just try to get him to take you out on dates even if you have to be direct about it.

Concerning the other girl, it’s best that you first discuss her with him before expressing any type of “demand” on your part. You currently aren’t his girlfriend so it may irritate him that you are already setting limitations on him, so it may be best if you approach the topic a little bit different. Try to talk about her openly without showing any type of jealousy, but try to shed light on her in a distant fashion. What I mean by that is that you should trying talking about her as if she’s nothing more than a girl he slept a few times. Use distancing language. It may be difficult to really make him stop seeing the other girl, but it’s not impossible. This is where you’ll need to really pick up on the way he talks about her and figure out who he seems to be more interested in: you or her.

Being fuck buddies isn’t a permanent status, it can definitely be changed to a full time relationship, it just may be a little bit difficult. So just continue on what you have and add dates into your relationship. Try to get him to get used to you and show him a more intimiate side of yourself, not just the physical attractiveness. I also have a few posts in the Related Posts section if you’d like extra insight on the topic.

5 Comments »

  • Jackie said:

    Quick and simple, I like it. Seems like many people have this issue where they fall for their fuck buddy and need help to turn it into something more serious.

    Reply to Comment

  • Dee said:

    See that’s the problem when hooking up with a guy when you just meet him. He wants to keep sleeping with you without trying to get into anything more serious. I suggest women don’t put out that easily, unless they expect it to be just a one-night stand.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Dee: That’s definitely a good point you’ve made. Unless it’s a one-night stand, the man may get the impression that if they hook up after just meeting then there is no need to getting into any type of serious relationship.

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  • Ally said:

    thanks! that helped a lot!

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Ally; Sure, glad to have helped!

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