Fuck Buddy Taboo and its Imminent Death
It’s the 21st Century and life is moving at a fast pace. Information travels quickly, news arrives almost instantly, and communication is done through social networks and mostly through Smart devices. Women have become emancipated from the pressures of social injustice that viewed them as secondary to men, and there has been an increase in independent freedom. This of course alters the common taboos of sex and what is considered “improper behavior”. The rise of Tinder and free fuck-buddy websites allow adults to speed-date, sleep together with no strings attached, and not feel obligated to answer to anyone for it. This of course comes with new responsibilities, but it paves the way for a world that puts the individual in charge of their sex life and doesn’t make them feel like the odd-person out.
The scientific community has pointed out that these speed-dating apps and websites facilitate short-term dating and creates the conception that there is a surplus of potential mates, imposing a detriment to long-term relationships. Nonetheless, the proper way to approach these useful websites is through knowledge and the mental separation between casual sex and relationships. Who says that a Tinder date cannot equate to a long-term relationship? In fact, there have been many cases where marriage has been the result of a Tinder date. But don’t set your aims high, because that’s not what these sites and applications are designed for. The truth is, they are designed to give you access to quick sexual release and a potential good time with a new and interesting person in a period when not many people have time and patience to implement the traditional ways of dating as were popular in the pre-historic era, yes, before the internet was an everyday utility for everything from dating to grocery shopping to access to the abundance of interesting information and opinions.
When I first started writing about fuck-buddies, there were no movies like Friends with Benefits or No Strings Attached and no apps like Tinder or sites like Find Local Fuck to help break down such a taboo. Yet, I wasn’t first on the scene, early on Seinfeld showed us the pros and cons of a friend with benefits relationship. Nevertheless, what I was seeing was that people were in fact having no string attached relationships, and they had questions, but there was nowhere to turn for help. It was interesting to see that the taboo surrounding friends with benefits were keeping people from talking about it to people close to them and hence they sought help online in secret. Now, however, people are quite open about their sex lives, specifically their one night stands or casually sexual rendezvous with a semi-stranger. And to say that the internet or the media is solely responsible for this growing acceptance of casual hookups would not be justified, because there must be something much more deeply rooted in humans, especially in the type of fast-paced environment that we exist in, to allow ourselves to say, “This is my life and I am fully comfortable with having one or multiple fuck-buddies without being inclined to start a formal relationship”, and you know what, it seems to be working for many people. Sure, there are more questions that rise from experimenting in the field, but at least we are breaking down the barriers that made people fear being considered a “type” just because of their interest in a style of intimacy that did not fit into the traditional way of thinking regarding sex and infrequent encounters with another consenting adult. And honestly, as long as we’re making love in lieu of war, and as long as we live in a so-claimed free society, why should such taboos exist? It is clear that the future of the fuck-buddy relationship taboo is losing its “tabooness” and has become much more socially accepted. As for advice, you may be saying to yourself, sure it’s all fine and dandy that people are okay with it, but how do I find a fuckbuddy? And that’s exactly why we’re here, isn’t it.