So I was surfing the web and came across your blog and must say I have
enjoyed reading it. I have recently (few months) gotten back together with
my old fb from years ago. He decided to end it back then but we kept in
touch over the years talking off and on. I always let him call me. He
happened to call me up this fall and we started talking regular for a while
until we ended up back as fuck buddies. We are totally cool talking about
everything (even the hot clerk at the store) but until now it hasn’t
bothered me (which that doesn’t). But also until now, besides his baby
mama, I have been his only encounter and he mine. I felt we were getting too
regular meeting up 3 times a week plus him calling a lot, so when I got
sick, I took it as an opportunity for us to back off a little. To make a
long story shorter, by fate (the weather), it ended up being a week and a
half break. He ended up having a one night stand and called to tell me the
next day (instead of us meeting up). I got mad after talking and have been
jealous ever since. But I don’t know why I am jealous. I don’t want to
be, and I don’t feel I should. I have been perfect at checking my feelings
until now. We will never date so I am totally confused. The only thing I can
think of is I was positive he was clean before but can’t be now. But I
don’t think that is it. I was hoping you might have some insight to help
me reel my feelings back into check.

Thanks so much for your blog it has been insightful.

One of the biggest problems most people in a fuck buddy relationship go through is starting to feel jealousy when their fuck buddy sees other people while they are sleeping with them at the same time. It’s difficult to deal with sometimes because you tend to share some sort of history and when they tell you they had a one-night stand with someone else, your mind begins to think that what you share means nothing to that person because he can simply go ahead and sleep with someone else without even having to have any real liking to that other person.

Jealousy is very hard to deal with and some are more jealous than others, but there are never the less ways to deal with any level of jealousy. Here are some methods that can help you deal with jealousy.

Logic

Try to analyze the situation with a clear mind and rationally. Put your emotions off to the side and just think logically. Think things like, “Why am I jealous? Should I even be jealous? Is he worth being jealous over?” and so on. If you cannot come up with any real reasons to why you are jealous and feel like you should not be jealous and instead completely indifferent to him, then you should try the next method.

Find His Flaws

I know this doesn’t sound ethical, but when you’re desperate to stop feeling jealous, it may sometimes help to think about all of his flaws and force yourself to dislike him. If you’re willing to stop your relationship with him and being emotionally indifferent about him isn’t working, it could be time to make yourself hate him. Think about all the flaws you can find about him and focus on that. Over time those are going to the only things you will see in him and won’t care at all about what he does with other women.

Find Closure

If hating him still doesn’t work and you still think about him and feel jealous that he sleeps with other women, you should give yourself some distance and then finally when you are no longer capable of withstanding the distance and wondering constantly what he’s up to and if he’s with other women, then it is time to find closure. I once was in this situation and when neither ‘logic’ nor ‘finding her flaws’ worked, I convinced myself that once I’ll get to talk to her a final time before forever forgetting about her, (because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle staying with her) all I required was finding closure. I spoke to her, I saw that there was still a connection, but I immediately removed her from her high-horse in my mind and created a bigger image of myself. I tried to distance myself from her in my mind during the time we met and that is what I focused on the entire night we spent out. So I advise switching this image you have created of him in your mind and moving away from that, believing you are stronger than a mere feeling of jealousy.

Onto the Next One

Finally, you need to go out and find new men that are opposite to him. Do not try to find guys that are either similar in character or similar looking to him, try to find men that are on the completely opposite side of the stick. Beginning to like a different type of man will inevitably make you forget about him and wonder why you’ve ever even felt any form of jealousy for that man. Eventually, you’ll be able to move on and enjoy trying to find a good time in a different type of man who may end up much better for you in the future.

If you are satisfied with my advice, you can help keep the blog alive with a kind donation. Thank you!

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