Comments on: Get Over that Wretched Feeling of Jealousy http://www.shiteilike.com/get-over-that-wretched-feeling-of-jealousy/ Fri, 10 Sep 2010 16:39:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Robby G http://www.shiteilike.com/get-over-that-wretched-feeling-of-jealousy/comment-page-1/#comment-12318 Robby G Thu, 22 Apr 2010 14:25:59 +0000 http://www.shiteilike.com/?p=2474#comment-12318 @Marie: This is the worst thing that can happen when you want someone to be just your fuck-buddy. All this talk of love is guaranteed not be just a home-girl thing anymore, especially in the moments he chooses to use it. They're not just slipping out, he seriously means it. In these instances, whatever you do will end up hurting him, unless of course you return the love. But since you don't feel the same love for him it will be difficult to not completely destroy him. The only method I could think of, which I know would work on me if I ever was in his situation is if the girl changed the way she acts into something that I find repulsive. This may end your overall fuck-buddy relationship with him, but at least no one will be as hurt in the end. Figure out the characteristics in a girl that purely disgusts him, for example, trash-talking sluts or clingy girls that constantly call him or depressive girls that always ruin the mood, and incorporate that when you are around him. He will discover "the real you" and will reassess his love for you. This way he will not get too hurt but at the same time you may lose a fuck-buddy. So it really depends on what you want to accomplish now. @Marie: This is the worst thing that can happen when you want someone to be just your fuck-buddy. All this talk of love is guaranteed not be just a home-girl thing anymore, especially in the moments he chooses to use it. They’re not just slipping out, he seriously means it. In these instances, whatever you do will end up hurting him, unless of course you return the love. But since you don’t feel the same love for him it will be difficult to not completely destroy him. The only method I could think of, which I know would work on me if I ever was in his situation is if the girl changed the way she acts into something that I find repulsive. This may end your overall fuck-buddy relationship with him, but at least no one will be as hurt in the end. Figure out the characteristics in a girl that purely disgusts him, for example, trash-talking sluts or clingy girls that constantly call him or depressive girls that always ruin the mood, and incorporate that when you are around him. He will discover “the real you” and will reassess his love for you. This way he will not get too hurt but at the same time you may lose a fuck-buddy. So it really depends on what you want to accomplish now.

]]> By: Marie http://www.shiteilike.com/get-over-that-wretched-feeling-of-jealousy/comment-page-1/#comment-12297 Marie Thu, 22 Apr 2010 01:36:50 +0000 http://www.shiteilike.com/?p=2474#comment-12297 Hi Robby! So you say “Keep me posted” to most of your readers but I figured it was worth a shot and to ask another quick question of you. I actually did get over my jealousy, although it took me some time to totally pull it off. Actually seeing him and someone I am mutually “using” and doing some initiating (instead of always being pursued) has really gotten me where I want to be. Although, we had a two and a half week dry spell which just about undid all my progress and just about killed me (haha!). But I reminded myself it was about what I wanted not who I wanted. I tell you I had never really tried this kind of relationship, but I am really enjoying it and enjoying all the benefits. Ok (not really) quick question. He has made a big FB no-no! He has told me he loves me. I don’t get it. The first time he explained himself saying: I get him, he can tell me his drama, and I listen without judging. He said it was friendly love (home-girl). I laughed it off in a way and tried to move the convo on (not knowing what to do). But I really didn’t think much of it since it was all friendly. Then, the next time, in the middle of the “moment,” he asked me if I loved him. I thought a second and asked how? He said in any way. So I said I wouldn’t care and worry about him if I didn’t. He then asked: “Like a home-boy?” and I said yes. Then he said he loved me too. I wasn’t lying I do worry about him sometimes ect. I have love (concern/care) for him but I don’t “love” him. This was before our “drought” so I just dismissed it. We finally got up this weekend both nights, but the second night again in the moment he said “I love you baby”. I don’t know if it is something he thinks I want to hear, or a habit for him, or what, but it totally threw the rest of my night off. It’s not like he’s new to getting it on or keeping things casual, but you may be right that he is new to this long-term fb thing. Heck I am too, but I thought it was going well till this came up. I have never returned the words because I don’t feel the urge or need to. It’s making me feel more reserved and much less open with him and it’s somewhat ruining the reason we get together for me. I am so lost as to what in the world to say or do. I have treaded into territory I have no idea how to deal with or get out of…. Maybe you or someone might have an idea of what to do? I don’t want to run yet but this is not fun either! Thanks so much for everything you do with this blog! Hi Robby!

So you say “Keep me posted” to most of your readers but I figured it was worth a shot and to ask another quick question of you. I actually did get over my jealousy, although it took me some time to totally pull it off. Actually seeing him and someone I am mutually “using” and doing some initiating (instead of always being pursued) has really gotten me where I want to be. Although, we had a two and a half week dry spell which just about undid all my progress and just about killed me (haha!). But I reminded myself it was about what I wanted not who I wanted. I tell you I had never really tried this kind of relationship, but I am really enjoying it and enjoying all the benefits.

Ok (not really) quick question.
He has made a big FB no-no! He has told me he loves me. I don’t get it. The first time he explained himself saying: I get him, he can tell me his drama, and I listen without judging. He said it was friendly love (home-girl). I laughed it off in a way and tried to move the convo on (not knowing what to do). But I really didn’t think much of it since it was all friendly. Then, the next time, in the middle of the “moment,” he asked me if I loved him. I thought a second and asked how? He said in any way. So I said I wouldn’t care and worry about him if I didn’t. He then asked: “Like a home-boy?” and I said yes. Then he said he loved me too. I wasn’t lying I do worry about him sometimes ect. I have love (concern/care) for him but I don’t “love” him. This was before our “drought” so I just dismissed it. We finally got up this weekend both nights, but the second night again in the moment he said “I love you baby”. I don’t know if it is something he thinks I want to hear, or a habit for him, or what, but it totally threw the rest of my night off. It’s not like he’s new to getting it on or keeping things casual, but you may be right that he is new to this long-term fb thing. Heck I am too, but I thought it was going well till this came up. I have never returned the words because I don’t feel the urge or need to. It’s making me feel more reserved and much less open with him and it’s somewhat ruining the reason we get together for me. I am so lost as to what in the world to say or do. I have treaded into territory I have no idea how to deal with or get out of…. Maybe you or someone might have an idea of what to do? I don’t want to run yet but this is not fun either!

Thanks so much for everything you do with this blog!

]]> By: Robby G http://www.shiteilike.com/get-over-that-wretched-feeling-of-jealousy/comment-page-1/#comment-10780 Robby G Thu, 18 Feb 2010 03:20:52 +0000 http://www.shiteilike.com/?p=2474#comment-10780 @Marie: Laughing it off in that situation was the right move. You show him that you don't care about it yet you prove that you were right about it either way. The fact that he asked you if he could call you his "fuck buddy" is in fact a weird question, I must say (it's not just you who thinks so). I think he said it just to make sure that label is there and is a newbie error rather than making sure that you are aware that he just perceives you as a fuck buddy...because there are much better ways of making sure that you know that you 2 are fuck buddies than the way he did it. I don't think he is too familiar with how fuck-buddy relationships work and is just testing the waters with you, because with what you've explained, he's not really a 'natural' in the whole thing. But either way, you're doing everything right so far and hope you keep it up. I also like that you took the advice of taking a step back and taking a more chills approach to the situation. I'm sure it helped you see things clearer for yourself as well. Keep me posted, Cheers. @Marie: Laughing it off in that situation was the right move. You show him that you don’t care about it yet you prove that you were right about it either way. The fact that he asked you if he could call you his “fuck buddy” is in fact a weird question, I must say (it’s not just you who thinks so). I think he said it just to make sure that label is there and is a newbie error rather than making sure that you are aware that he just perceives you as a fuck buddy…because there are much better ways of making sure that you know that you 2 are fuck buddies than the way he did it. I don’t think he is too familiar with how fuck-buddy relationships work and is just testing the waters with you, because with what you’ve explained, he’s not really a ‘natural’ in the whole thing. But either way, you’re doing everything right so far and hope you keep it up.

I also like that you took the advice of taking a step back and taking a more chills approach to the situation. I’m sure it helped you see things clearer for yourself as well.

Keep me posted,
Cheers.

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