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Get Rid of Your Self-Doubt

20 August 2009 5 Comments

You know how some people say “I don’t live with regret and everything I have done is in the past. I see no reason to sulk on things I might have succeeded in if I would have done it a little differently.” Well I don’t agree with not having regret. Regret means that you’re willing to learn from your mistakes. Not having any regrets means that you are not willing to accept the fact that you have made a mistake and if you were to do it again then you would do it exactly the same way. Logically, I believe, it is best to not sulk on the past, but realize where you have made a mistake and make sure you don’t repeat it again. Now, though I believe regret may be used in a positive way, I think “doubt” in a one’s capabilities should never exist. I used to believe that doubt can be used in a positive way also, but I’ve learned through a hard way that it never brings forth anything beneficial.

Definition of “Doubt”: the state of being unsure of something.

The definition doesn’t sound bad at all, because in life there are many things you should approach with caution when you are unsure of, and doubting its creditability or authenticity can be beneficial. It is only when you aim that doubt at yourself that nothing good can come of it. “Self-doubt” is doubting one’s own abilities, and that can hold you back from living how you want to live. You know when you look at yourself in the mirror and think about how you would love to someday have beautiful women constantly be by your side and own yachts are private planes; or be that guy who stuck it to the government and never followed social constructs and had the world fold to him rather than be a part of a capitalist regime of yesmen? Then you look down at your watch and realize you’re late for work, and with a chest-full of anxious breaths you head down to the garage to warm up your car while the rest of the world seems to be living and enjoying and finding happiness in things you feel are in your reach but you’re just not allowing yourself to grasp. Well that, my friends, is self-doubt. You want something, but you are not allowing yourself to go and get it. And no one is holding you from achieving it other than yourself. You may think it’s society’s fault, or the responsibilities you have, or even your parents’ or spouse’s fault. But the truth is… it is your own mind that is holding you hostage. Until you throw all of those self-doubting thoughts and beliefs out of your mind, there isn’t much anyone can do for you. You will continue to travel down the same path you are heading now, looking at happiness through a glass that is travelling parallel to you, and you will simply not be able to cross that line that you see is so easy for so many to cross.

How to Free Yourself from Self-Doubting Thoughts?

1. Learn to say “Fuck it! What’s the worst that can happen?” Every time I get into a situation where I start to doubt my abilities to do something, my mind quickly justifies for me why my dreams are unreachable. As soon as that self-doubting voice comes into my head, I abruptly interrupt it with that one thought: “Fuck it.” Then I think “What’s the worst that can happen?” And more than usually the worst thing that can happen is I return to the way of life I am currently leading. I don’t dwell on every single detail, instead I try to encourage myself with that thought to make me believe, “I’m my own man and there’s really nothing holding me back from doing what I want.”

2. Put your ego in overdrive. An over-inflamed ego can be a bad thing at times, but if you are lacking self-confidence and your mind is shackled in with self-doubt, you really need to give your ego a kick in the ass. I start telling myself that “If others have achieved these sort of heights, why can’t I?” And my next thought always comes out positively. I always make sure to view myself as superior to others when in self-doubt and that boosts me to believe I can not only do what I’m planning, but do it better than anyone else.

3. “If I’m not the man for the job, no one is.” Make sure you believe that thought. Make sure you practise that thought. Make sure you constantly repeat that thought. And make sure you prove that thought to be accurate.

4. Doubt other people, but never yourself. If someone were to ever tell you that something you truly believe to be factual and real is completely untrue, do not believe them. Hell, for thousands of years people have been practising this one. If you believe it to be true then it makes it so. If someone was to tell you God isn’t real because you can’t see Him or touch Him or sense Him in any way, that doesn’t necessarily make it so in your mind. The fact that you may feel Him in your heart or spirit proves to you that He’s real. Just using religion as an example here, the same goes for everything else in life. Life is what you make of it in your mind, not what others try to construct for you.

5. Don’t fear the unknown. Just because you are uncertain of something doesn’t make it necessarily bad. When fear of the uncertain pops into your mind, think back to a time when you were a child and remember that if you were to fear the unknown back in your childhood then you would have never learnt all the wonderful things you know about now. You would be sitting in your bedroom filled with fear, but you were courageous and adventurous enough to want to explore beyond your comfort zone.

6. Just get to work. As soon as you have a positive idea or a goal, go to work on it. Don’t think that you can do it and kill the excitement brewing in your heart. Instead, take out a piece of paper and begin to work out the major details. Don’t focus on the minor problems you may run into, but the crucial aspects of what you want to achieve.

Self-doubt eats away at a person until it eventually destroys his entire self and spirit. You need to trust your ability to think of something, to get to work on it, and eventually put it into action. The world is built on people who said “I know I can and will” rather than those who failed because they were too afraid to try.

5 Comments »

  • Jackie said:

    Self-doubt really eats away at a person and if they can’t control it in time then they will be afraid to try anything new in life. Just getting to work really works for me whenever I’m in doubt.

  • JD said:

    If im not the man for the job no one is. that’s like saying, if i can’t do it then it can’t be done. I like that a lot. You’re only as good as what you can achieve in life in this sort of society so it is important to never doubt your abilities. Doubting others can be positive. I 100% agree with you on this post and very smart points you’ve pointed out there. Keep it up. I subscribed to your blog.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @JD: Thanks for subscribing. I put thought into those points and really had to describe what I do to get out of the self-doubting mindframe. Staying positive is important to reach success and self-doubt will constantly put a man down.
    Cheers.

  • Walter said:

    I like you last advice of just get to work. Doubts will always be a part of life but we have the choice to either succumb to it or go against it. Let’s always go for our advantage.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Walter: That’s exactly right. Always working and going for our advantage when doubt is there is something that may come with some difficulties but everyone needs to realize that there is no one holding back from anything except yourself.


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