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Getting Back in the Game

28 September 2009 3 Comments

Hi Robby ,
 I have read some of your post and I find them really entertaining and
interesting. Recently by fate I have become a single mom. I need to get back
to dating again but I really do not know how to ” turn back time   ( I have
been in a good relationship for  20 years). I do not want men to see me as a
desperate  women.
Thank you in advance for your help
 ps I m 40 years old

You don’t need to turn back time, a single 40 year old woman may be the best thing a man can find. You have benefits to yourself that many younger girls don’t: experience and knowledge. What I suggest you do first is think positively, second is think back at how you used to try to impress men before your relationship, and get back into that mode. You mentioned that you’re a mother, but depending on the age of your child I don’t know if you have time to go out or if you have a responsibility to stay at home and watch your kid. When you find time to go out however, try to go out with another woman your age who is also single and also looks presentable, and go to a lounge where the crowd is in your age group or just a little younger or older, depending on how you like them. And since you mentioned that you don’t want to seem desperate, make sure to keep yourself in check and not do what a lot of single women end up doing after a long relationship and finally finding themselves in a position of freedom. Don’t go get drunk and start coming onto men with slutty dance moves. In my mind that’s what a desperate woman does. Keep your dignity and self-respect and approach the dating game with class, not because your age demands it, but because men find that extremely attractive.


Looks are always important. You should look at yourself in the mirror, ask yourself what minor things you think you can enhance that will make you more appealing. The way you dress is a major factor in this process. Going back to shirt-skirts and mini-tops may not work this time around, but long black dresses and high heels just might. Get your hair done, your nails done, get the whole sexy vibe going, and then don’t waste any more time on this. If you’ve got a diet going, keep up on it, but don’t start obsessing about shedding an extra pound here and there. Just go out there, feel fresh, and try to find yourself a decent man.

Compare and Contrast

Many times when people get out into the game after sitting in the sidelines too long, they begin to think back at their previous relationship and wish they could return all those good times. Forget all that. Don’t compare the man standing next to you at the lounge trying to order you a drink to what your previous man. Be open-minded and maybe you’ll find yourself something you didn’t even know can exist. That doesn’t mean to go and try out every possible candidate, by God have your standards, just don’t think about shutting men out as soon as they glance over your way or try to approach you.

Where Are All the Good Men?

All around. Just because you might not be going out to a lounge on a Tuesday afternoon doesn’t mean that you should dress in sweatpants and sweater. Now that you’re single, you’re fair game anywhere, anytime. Take an extra ten minutes in the morning to make yourself look good and don’t ever think that you won’t someone that day. Everyday there is a chance that you may find someone, and that’s truly the fun part about being single. You never know when you’ll find that right man for you, and it’s very exciting.

I mentioned that you should find another single woman to go out with you, but if you can’t, then just go out on your own. It’s always nice to have a friend to talk with and laugh with when sitting at a table drinking wine, but being by yourself may actually increase your chances since it will be less intimidating for men. So that’s all I have to say. Just keep thinking positively and actually put it into your mind that you’re single now and single men looking for women your age are all around. Hope that helps.

If anyone has any dating question for me, please leave me a message through this contact form.


  • Pal said:

    Robby is right, you need to keep a positive attitude. 40 year old single women are perfect. Young men want them because they’re experienced and know what they’re doing, older men want them because of their stability. The advice here are perfect I think and if you do what he says you’ll have men asking you on dates in no time. Enjoy being single while it lasts… ’cause it should be for too long

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Pal: I agree. The single life isn’t at all bad, but the dating world has its benefits too. All depends on what the person is looking for. Thanks for the comment.

  • Prima said:

    Thank you guys!
    I will keep you posted of my progress:)

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