Home » Friends with Benefits, Relationship Tips

Getting Things Sorted

26 August 2011 No Comment

hello..my name is jaqueline…please help me figure out what to do cuz im
lost..the problem is that i was with this guy for about a month and a half
and everything was ok but then our attitudes started to crash whenever we
would text but when we would meet & be together it would be great, but
eventually he got tired of our attitudes clashing and he and I broke it
off & said his feelings had changed but ..he said maybe later we would get
back together but meanwhile was ok with being just friends. So he didn’t want
to meet at first but then he gave in & we started seeing each other again at
the park but sometimes also at my house and when he would come over i would
stay far away but he would get close2me and kiss me. We would have sex and he
would still act like a bf with me but then he got a gf and i got mad. We
ended it really bad cuz we cussed each other out & I told him he wasn’t worth
it & we told each other a lot of hurtful things. So i stopped talking to him on
January & didn’t know nothing bout each other till April when I texted him & he
replied hey:)and he said he was single again and it sounded like he was
happy to hear from me & we talked again & he said that we should hang out
sometime so we have but he said he wants to stay single & to be fuck buddies and i
said yes but its hard cus i really loved him a lot & I still do a lot & it hurts
when he comes over & i see him cuz i wish i could tell him how much i still love
him but i cant :/ when we met again after time he never brought up us cussing
each other out & he just hugged me really tight for a long while & asked how have i
been.. and i just met him today an hour ago but i feel like crying cuz it
just hurts alot 🙁 he only texts me to say he is not gonna work
wednesday & wants to meet up & dirty texts & a lil conversation but not much :/ but
lately he puts happy faces when he says hey or something else so i thought
maybe its good but i don’t wanna get my hopes up. And today when we met he
was nicer with me cus he would play around with me & would laugh & he would
bring up a conversation & he kissed me & held me like when we were
together & he held my hand and instead of doing it in the place we usually
do it he asked me where i wanted 2 & i said in my room so he took me to the
room holding my hand and he smiled a lot & seemed like he was actually
happy & a lot of memories came back and then he lay down on my bed & i lay
down next to him & I hugged him & he hugged me back & we rested our heads together
cuddling close4a while and he didnt say anything he was just closing his
eyes resting then we went to the living room&he sat on the sofa across the
room&i sat on the sofa on the other side&he was like why so far away??and i
was like where do u want me to be?? and he said get over here which was next2him
so i sat next2him& we just lay our heads together then he put his arm
around me&we stayed like that watching a movie close2eachother and
talking..then i just poked him&he poked me back&he called me dork like we
used2call eachother when we were together&then he pretended2kiss me but then
pulled away like before also&i was like fine and turned away&he was like
awww nah&got me and kissed me on my cheek like2times like being sweet&then
he kissed my lips and we just stayed watching the movie together but then he
had2go&he got all his stuff&said he had2go&kissed me and opened the door&was
leaving all ready was like by the next house&i told him if i could hug him&he
was like umm hahaha yeah so he hugged me&left…so thats my story
sorry4making it so long..wat do you think about my situation?? i love him
but idk if he still has feelings4me& i dont wanna get my hopes up cuz it
hurts enough already. I want him back but it just seems2hard or
impossible2get him back but im hurting every time i c him&he doesnt know i
just cry sometimes after he leaves. What do you think i should do?? do u
think he still has feelings for me or do i just give up? please i need your help

Definitely don’t give it up, but also, be cautious. Things in the past didn’t work in your favor and though it’s looking good now, be wary of the stuff he is capable of. It seems that you already have your hopes up, and though I do not want to sound like a downer, you should probably take things a little slower when it comes to your emotions toward him. As of the last time you met and the way it went, things are certainly on the up, but (and there’s always a but) just be careful not to be too involved just yet. He seems quite good at knowing what things make you happy and at the same time, what things make you angry, and he is able to play on them. You must take things day by day and learn more about him. I feel like there’s a lot still you may not know about this guy and it would be a good idea to get to know him better by going on more dates. You are experiencing lust for him and have not fully developed a complete knowledge of what sort of person he is and how he would act in various situations. First and foremost, if you are experiencing such strong feelings for him, you should hint on or even invite him out on a date to someplace where you can calmly talk and discuss things, opening up to him about yourself, but more importantly asking him about himself. Get him to tell you about his past girlfriends, why he ended up breaking up with his last girlfriend, what sort of things interest him, and what he expects out of your current situation.

Also, do not feel shy or insecure around him. He seems to be in charge of the relationship you two possess, and though that’s absolutely fine, you have to express what you think and feel without getting that clash of attitudes that you explained. It’s important for you two to have an overall mutual understanding and compromise on issues when they arise, but it’s crucial for you to express your side of things in a respectful and civil way. Getting angry and demanding or even argumentative is a sure way to lose him, so it’s best to tell him what’s on your mind in a way that will not allow him to feel the need to yell or argue. If you are able to figure out a way that your attitudes cease to clash then you should not have a problem with having him stick around.


Leave your Thoughts!