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Holy Shite! Just Go Out With Me Already

1 November 2009 2 Comments

I want to ask this guy to go out with me. How should I ask him?

I received this very simple question from a reader the other day and though I saw the simple form the question was written in compared to the leangthy questions with background information I tend to get, this one is much harder to answer and needs much more time than any of those. To get straight to the point, there are variety of ways a woman can ask a guy to go out with her and I will discuss the ones I believes are simply the best. I’ve already written a post for men who want to know how to ask a girl out, but now it’s time to flip the tables and show the best way for a woman to get a man she likes to go out on a date with her.

What’re You Doing Tonight?

The simplest and one of the most effective ways for a woman to ask a man out is to be indirect about the whole situation yet let him know exactly what she mean. If a woman says something like, “What’re you doing tonight?” this gives the implication that she’s interested, but at the same time there is room for rejection. Being too direct with men is never a good thing because throughout history men are used to being the ones in charge of being the ones to ask the woman out. So when the woman goes up and bluntly says to the man that she wants to take him out to dinner, the man may take it a little bit offensively even though no one meant any harm. Yet it’s best to keep the options open and come off as a little interested in the man yet giving him the choice to make the final decision to either tell her he’s busy or to reply back saying something like, “I have no plans, how about yourself?” This gives him the ability to be forward and be certain that the woman is interested in him. What that initial question by the woman essentially means is that she is interested in the man, but doesn’t want to be the one to come off needy and gives the man the benefit of the doubt to take the hint and then ask her if she wants to meet up sometime that night. It has an implication that the woman wants to see him that night, but she is classy enough to not be direct about the whole thing.

Physical Hint

To be honest, I don’t think it’s difficult at all to get a guy to ask a woman out if she really wants it. All you have to do is either hint at it indirectly like I mentioned above or try to straight up seduce him. Push all the right buttons and the man will be all yours. One important way for a woman to act like when she wants to get a man is to be assertive. Sometimes men can’t see what is right in front of them and they need some flirting and seduction tactics from the woman to understand what exactly is out there for them. One thing that’s important, again to reiterate, is to not seem desparate and needy. Men don’t like women that act like they really need them, instead they like it when the woman acts like they want them. As if they chose him out of all the other men they could have chosen from. Of course the woman has to have had acted a little bit unapproachable and on a higher social level than the man initially, but even if she hasn’t taken the initiative to act that way and only been friendly with the man, she can go ahead and step up her flirting game. Flirtation shouldn’t just include sexual verbal hints and compliments, but also physical sensuality like putting her hand on his thigh or things of that nature. Again, one thing that is a big turn off for almost all men is if the woman really acts desperate and ends up being the one to directly blurt out that she likes the man and really wants him to go out with her. That kinda needy stuff only works with other desperate guys and only in rare occasions when the woman is extremely sexy and the guy doesn’t care for anything about her except her looks.

Story Time

Once upon a time (really long ago), I used to hang out with this one girl with who I talked to a lot and we were just really friendly towards each other. At that point in time I really didn’t think about her as anything much except a girl that walked the same path as me from class and so we would only meet and talk to one another after that class. In the begining I might have thought something about her for the slightest moment, but that quickly got erased out of my mind and we would only have our little walks together. Our walks would happen everyday and one day she went ahead and asked me what I was doing on Friday night. It really struck me as a little bit odd, because I never felt any real appeal toward this girl, but I couldn’t answer to her question in any way except that I had no plans. So what ended up happening was I thought, ‘What the hell,’ and we went on a first date. She wasn’t ugly and she was someone I felt good talking to. That first date really ignited this new feeling towards her and we actually became a regular. Even though we broke up due to some stupid reason a couple of months later, I’ll be honest and say that I’m very happy about the whole thing that happened because it taught me a lot about the fact that even though sometimes you may never look at a girl a certain way, a few right words that lead to dates can really turn into a great few months. Now I keep my options open and see first dates as a fun experience. Basically, the girl took the initiative to just state it out there that she was interested, but she wasn’t too direct about it, and we ended up dating for a little while. Women have the power over the whole asking the man out thing and really shouldn’t over-think it or assume the worst. Men feel empowered if the woman does it the right way and doesn’t come off as too needy. It’s a great ego-trip yet keeps men in check that they still need to work at getting the woman to go out with them because the woman isn’t fully laying her cards out and saying “Will you go out with me?” but just implying that she may have some interest.


  • Debbie said:

    You hit the nail on the head I think. These seem like sure ways to get a man to go out with a woman. Making the man want to ask the woman out seems essential in your ideas here and I totally agree. The story at the end is fun to read as well and glad that you can speak through experience.

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  • G Crew said:

    Physical hints work best in my experience. The nonchallant what’re you doing this weekend should work well as well but the #1 thing for a woman to remember is not to just blurt out will you go out with me. No one likes a needy chick and everyone wants a little challange.

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