How Do I Deal with a Jealous Boyfriend?
So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 to 4 weeks now and things are
great. But when it become to guy friends, he thinks I will cheat on him by
talking sexually to them. I tell him all the time I wouldn’t talk to them like
that because I only love him. Every time I say I don’t talk sexually to to guys,
he doesn’t believe me.. Now he’s mad at me because I told a guy to text me because
I needed to talk to him about something important. I don’t know what else to do.
This is a great question. There isn’t a one cure for a jealous boyfriend; nonetheless, there are ways you are able to do certain things that will bring comfort to him, which will allow him to rethink some of his actions logically without incorporating negative emotions and filling up with jealousy. Now, relationship or no relationship, it’s still all a game and you have to know how to play it well. In general, I view life as a game and believe we have to know which move to make when in order to succeed. I don’t think there are winners and losers in life, because everyone has a different value system and when one feels a victory, it may be a no contest for the other person, but there are still fundamental ways to do or not do certain things in order to yield favorable outcomes. And dealing with a jealous person you must be careful to not pour fuel on the fire, but instead portray to them that there isn’t anything for them to worry about.
1 on 1
Reassurance can be built by telling him that he shouldn’t worry and that he is the only one you care about and that you would never cheat on him. He could be jealous for a number of reasons: he was hurt in the past; he has reasons to be suspicious; natural personality trait. And though it’s in him to change, it’s up to you to do all you can to not aggravate his jealousy but to comfort him. Saying small things like, “I love you” (if you sincerely do) or even looking him in the eyes and allowing him to feel the connection between the two of you will get him to not only see but also to FEEL that you’re not going to do anything to hurt him.
I’ll be Frank
I am sure that he cares a lot about you and that’s part of the reason why he is jealous. So though jealous in itself is bad, you yourself get the knowledge that he does care for you otherwise he wouldn’t be jealous. However, jealousy can sometimes go to far, and if you are feeling that his jealousy is so foolish that he is getting mad at you for completely obnoxious reasons then you must confront him on it. If he’s mad because you told another guy to text you, then tell him that it’s just ridiculous that he’s starting a big thing out of nothing, and that if you would have wanted to then you would have cheated on him. But you’re not that type of person and you’re dating him and no one else because you WANT to be with him. With confrontations you must be a little careful, however, because if you are too harsh on him then he himself may go and do something with someone else out of anger. So you must really feel the situation out and know how far you can take it.
Clockwork – Time Pays
The most important thing besides showing him that you care deeply for him is to grow together with time. Many men are jealous towards the beginning of a relationship just because they do not know everything about the girl, the are uncertain how they act or react to general arguments, and they are still unsure about the feeling they themselves are feeling (whether it is love, lust, or what). So with time, if all goes well, then he will feel closer to you and once there is a stronger bond, he will be able to trust you much more. It personally took me over half a year to trust my girlfriend and see the kind of person she really was, and that she wasn’t putting on an “act” when she was with me and being her true, “different” self when she’s with others. So trust is definitely the biggest factor here, and it can only be increased through time and truthfulness.
Let’s hear how other people deal with jealous partners. Please leave your comments below.