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How to Buy Lingerie for an F-Buddy

16 September 2011 2 Comments

This is a guest post from Eric J. Leech, author of Love, Lust, and Relationships

A guy may be able to throw a curve ball, speed shift a Honda Civic, or throw back three shots of Tequila. However, when it comes to picking out a lacy bra and panty set for a couple of ugly’s on various dating website’s, most guys prefer to keep their ties in the closet, rather than themselves (yes, this is a gay reference in poor taste). This leaves him with absolutely no idea where to begin when it comes to buying a frilly underwear combo. Let’s face it, it can get a little confusing with about a mile of different kinds of lace. Ten strategically placed peek holes, and 30 color variations, ranging from virgin, hot pink to jaundice, STD-yellow. Nevertheless, don’t panic, Tyran Richards (Playboy centerfold, March 2007) is here to talk you through it.

The first thing every man should do upon stepping into a store is find a clerk who is at least close to the size of his f-buddy. If no one is there to fit that description, we either congratulate or pity you. However, your next available choice will be spotting a customer of similar size, and pointing that out to the salesperson. “Buying her a size that is too big is a no-no” warns Tyran. “We (women) do tend to get our feelings hurt and would rather it be form fitting than big.” Take this initial step very seriously guys, as you wouldn’t stroll into an auto part store and ask for engine oil without at least having some idea of what weight you needed. This could potentially lead to an engine seizure before you can even get your ‘dipstick’ in the tube. Let us move on to the topic of style and color.

According to various surveys, over 50% of men and women prefer their lingerie to be black (this defies the popular notion that all men love red). “Buying her fav’ color is a big bonus,” says Tyran. “But if you don’t know her favorite, stick to basic black, because it is always sexy!” Color is a very personal choice, as is the style of lingerie. To get the style right, it is helpful to know the traits that your f-buddy likes to flaunt, as well as her flaws she’d prefer to hide (and you might prefer not to see, either). A stylish bustier looks flattering on just about anyone (excluding most beluga whales). These can be worn in the bedroom as well as the club. F-buddy’s just love clothing with a dual purpose, and when one of these happens to be sex, so do most men!

For the guys who already have experience buying lingerie, you may want to shake things up with a role playing outfit. You got a lot of options out there, including a naughty school girl, pirate vixen, dance hall hussy, or party-time Britney Spears, complete with a pantiless miniskirt, a disposable pink razor (with dull blade), and bald wig. If she ends up loving her lingerie so much, you might find it difficult getting her out of them. In such cases, you might want to expand your horizons to include an ‘open’ bra cup and ‘peekaboo’ crotch. These will allow you to see the goods, without putting much effort into fiddling with those finicky bras and dental floss crack-bands (a.k.a. butt floss).

You want to do some thorough investigation before you purchase lingerie for your favorite f-buddy. Put some thought into what the lingerie will mean to her, and how it will fit her personality and style. If you have a hard time with this, it might mean that you don’t know her as well as you thought. Walking to and from a bed (couch, floor, roof of a 66′ Ford Gallaxy), does leave minimal time for small talk. Surveys suggest that 20 percent of f-buddy’s require you to be a ‘buddy’ for at least six months, before they’ll feel comfortable wearing lingerie you bought them. This can be a sign of a commitment to those who fear relationships. To avoid this, be sure to include a declaration that this will not be a prelude to an engagement ring from a 50-cent vending machine.

Confucius say, “Happy lady in lingerie makes for a happy man, once lady is out of lingerie”—touché!

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