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How to Get Your Boyfriend to Forgive You

23 February 2010 One Comment

I was somewhat dating this amazing guy for about a week when I invited him
over to spend the night and we ended up fucking. it was amazing sex. after
that we hung out almost everyday and 75% of the time slept together for
about 2 months.
He told his friends about me and would kiss me in public everyonce in a
while but we never really went on real dates. He is very busy going to
school and working so I understand.
We never talked about how we felt at all except one time when I was
sleeping with him and he said “I love you” as he was getting into it. I
figured it kind of came out and he didn’t mean it so nothing was said back
and nothing was said about it.
This is where I made a mistake and got a little too drunk and slept with
someone else. I didn’t think he would find out though I knew he knows the
person and I knew he would be angry so I didn’t tell him.
I’m not sure when, but he found out and since then stopped talking to me
completely and slept with someone else (perhaps more than one person, I only
know of one and I’m pretty sure he slept with them so I would find out).
I finally got the courage to apologize, though over text a few weeks after
he slept with someone else, and he kind of accepted it and blew it off.
since then about once weekly we text or call each other, meet up, and sleep
with each other. it seems like everythings almost back to normal when were
together but when were not i feel like he wants nothing to do with me.
recently he’s been seeming less and less interested and any contact is
mostly on my part.
I really truly have deep feelings for him and it’s now been 4 months
since we first began seeing each other. I want to begin a serious
relationship and I don’t want it with anyone but him. I’m afraid any
serious talk will scare him away right away and we still to this day have
never talked about our feelings, etc. this week he did not reach out to me
at all nor did I to him in fear of him being annoyed. I can’t go on like
this but I can’t get the courage to say something. what should I do?

I think that when you slept with the other guy when he thought that you two were in a real relationship (he did in fact say he loves you, though it may have been in the heat of the moment) he got really hurt and felt betrayed. Different men deal with girls who cheat differently. Some may be completely cool with it after a week while other may hold a grudge a long time. Since you said he seems distant and like he doesn’t want anything to do with you when you two are not together shows that he’s only into seeing you just for the sex and really feels annoyed of himself that he is able to continue seeing you even though you were so quick to cheat and never really supplied him with a real sincere apology. There are two things you can do in this situation and see whether he will actually be able to forgive you and start a serious relationship with you.

Open Up to Him

When a woman cheats on a man, it usually makes him question himself and think things like “Am I not enough for her?” and the only way for you to get him back is to answer that question for him. You must show him that he is everything you’ve ever needed and no one else can even compare. Invite him over and start up a conversation about how you feel. Do not go into details of why you cheated or make any excuses, but just tell him that you know you’ve made a mistake and it’s been eating you up because all you really want is to be with him. Be sincere and tell him what you’ve been going through without being a relationship with him. Tell him that these weekly sexual encounters are just not working out how you expected and if he’s not going to be able to accept the apology and try to start everything from the beginning with a clean slate, then maybe you are no longer willing to see him. Those sexual encounters do not fulfill you emotionally but only make you feel unsatisfied because he doesn’t show you the same love he used to before you cheated on him. If he will be willing to hear you out and accept your apology then you should suggest that you start things over again and go slow from there. You can also remind him of the time that he told you he loved you in bed that time and say that it had scared you off a little at the time but now you feel the same way for him. Say as much as you can to prove to him that you are in real emotional pain and if he doesn’t want to accept you now then it’s best that you don’t see each other anymore. It will at least give him limitations and he will realize that if he doesn’t accept your apology then you will completely be gone from his life, and I don’t think he really wants that.

Taking it Slow

By starting things from a clean slate, I mean that you should really try to go about with this relationship as if you actually just became boyfriend/girlfriend. Do not bring up things from the past, unless it was a good time you two shared together. But at the same time, once he accepted your apology, you should not continue to feel or seem guilty. Whatever happened happened and now you have accepted your faults and should look forward to a brighter future. Basically, do not tolerate things you wouldn’t if you had never have cheated on him and try to continue the relationship with as little negativity as possible.

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One Comment »

  • Jason said:

    This is why cheating never ends well. Couples need to know when they’re dating or if they’re just fucking around because there are different ways to act when you’re either dating or if you’re just fuck buddies. Need to stop getting it twisted.

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