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How to Make Him My Boyfriend?

16 January 2010 5 Comments

After getting rid of the fuck buddy, I went to a party and met this really
nice guy. We hit it off great, and hung out the whole night. We ended up
making out, which i know this is going to sound sad, but the make-out
session was more passionate then any sex Ive ever had with another guy. I
then went on to give him a blow job, but no sex. Which, I was proud of (the
whole no sex part). The guy asked me to stay the night, which I did and we
cuddled and talked for a while until we fell asleep. The next morning he had
to go to work, so we exchanged numbers and have been txting the last few
days. He says that he wants to see me again, which I really want to see him
also but I don’t want this to turn into another fuck buddy. I’m ready for
something more serious then that. How should I handle this? Do I come out
front and tell him that I’m interested in him and that I want to get to know
him better, and see how he views things? I just really don’t want to mess
this up. Please help!

Make Him Work For It

It’s good that you just cuddled and didn’t have sex because otherwise he might have thought of you as just a bootycall and you’d have another fuck buddy on your hands. The fact that you gave him a blowjob maybe made him think that next time he’ll get lucky and get to go all the way, but either way it was enough to lure him into wanting to see you again. I wouldn’t suggest that you go right ahead and tell him you are interested and you want something more than just a fuck buddy because this will trigger two things in his mind: 1. he might get scared that you’re being too up front about it and are already liking him more than he is expecting from your brief relationship, and 2. he will know that the fuck buddy concept isn’t new to you but this time you are interested in something more, allowing him to know that there is a chance to make you a fuck buddy rather than a girlfriend. If, however, he thinks that the concept of fuck buddies is completely foreign to you then he may put more effort into pursuing you and wanting to turn you into his girlfriend.

When you go out on a date with him the next time, do not sleep with him. Go on a formal date for dinner and just get to know him more. Act like the blowjob never happened but still be a little flirtatious. Making out is alright, but do not give him another blowjob or have sex with him on that date. Make him want you more and see that you are not as easy as he may have thought. Don’t come up with excuses for not having sex, (like you are on your period), but just simply say “no”. He will ask you on another date and on that next date it will be alright to sleep with him. Try to get to know him and his friends more and if you act like his regular girlfriend then he will slowly begin to treat you like one. What I mean by that is, do not call him just when you feel like sleeping with him, but actually call to chat or to see how he’s doing. Don’t over-do it, but you should see for yourself the sweet balance between not being too annoying and not being caring enough.

Also, instead of outright telling him that you want him to be your boyfriend, integrate certain boyfriend/girlfriend acts into your relationship. When you are walking down the street, reach and put your hand into his gently, kiss him on the cheek once in a while out of the blue, etc. And if you don’t see the same reaction from him in return, stop doing it for a while and act a little bit cold towards him. He will see that you tried to be nice to him and express feelings for him and his harshness only made you feel unwanted and this way he will most likely start doing it back and returning the little lovey-dovey gestures. Again, do not over-do it and make him think that you may be in love with him. If you follow these methods, it should get this new man to become more than just another fuck buddy, but will get you locked in a formal relationship.


  • Diana said:

    Well to be honest I don’t think that you should have given him a blowjob. Did he return the favor? Why should he benefit from your sexual encounter but you did not? If you want to make it to be more, I agree that you should make him work for it. He’s not even settling, he gets to reap the benefit without any effort on his part. Jeez.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Diana: Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that it was a mistake on her part to give it up so easily and making him put more work into it would have worked better for the long term.

  • merrylyn said:

    well i think id agree with Diana.just make him work for it.
    but what do you do if you really love him but he isn’t ready to work for it? i have this friend whom i’ve romantically fallen in love with but i still don’t know his mind. he hardly calls me or stops by to visit but i do all those,especially with the visiting.

    i can hardly live my normal 24 hr day if i dont think abt him for a couple of minutes within every 5 hrs. i’m not really sure about what he feels for me but i badly want him to be my true boyfriend. i’ve tried all i can but he isn’t working for it. he appears like the “i’m not ready yet” type. worst of all we often quarrel cos he often disagrees with me on almost every issue we discuss. in fact he gives me little attention.

    folks what do i do? he’s the first guy i’ve sincerely felt a thing for and my world is gonna be a better place to live in than now, if he should ask me out. meanwhile i dont want to do anything stupid to win his heart. i know u know what he means to me now so what do you think?

  • Holly said:

    I’m in a hugely similar situation. I met a guy, we dated and I when I stopped round his house for the first time I went down on him, no sex – so i was happy about that!
    I have got so used to the last two guys I was seeing using me for sex that I almost don’t know how to react in this situation – how terrible does that sound!
    He texts me every day always about what I’m up to and what he is up, when we will see eachother again etc…
    We did have sex the second time I stayed over, I was worried this was a mistake.
    He made it clear to me that it was not a booty call and that he was not only interested in sex – but my suspicious mind is in overdrive after what has happened to me before!
    Its always him suggesting that we meet, should I perhaps ask?
    BAH! am I overthinking things?


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