I Think I Like My FuckBuddy
First off, I just came to your site today…and I love it! OK, now down to
the nitty gritty: I am recently separated, not divorced yet. I started
talking to a guy in the terms of let’s just have some fun. He lives in
another town like 2 hours away (for some back story) and he also has a
girlfriend. So, we have hooked up twice, a month apart from eachother. It’s
fun, and exciting, and the sex is FANTASTIC. He is into things that I have
never done and he is a great teacher 😉 The question is….where do you draw
the line between the “fuck” part and the “buddy” part? He is a genuinly cool
guy, and he calls and texts all the time…but there is no future that I can
see, BUT, I am starting to “like” him and want to talk and get a little
dissapointed when he is at home with the gf and can’t call… So tell me
man….WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Thanks for the question. This is an issue that many people have when they get into the fuckbuddy relationship, especially when one is single (or separated) while the fuckbuddy has a girlfriend and a full ongoing relationship that he may or may not want to call quits on. The fact is, he has a girlfriend and it may be very difficult for you to have him switch from her to you even though the sex may be fantastic. But that’s besides the point, the real problem lies in the distance between your locations. Having fuck buddies outside of town is great for an occasional fun night, but the difficulties arise when he becomes your focal guy and you two talk all the time so you may be getting mixed vibes from him that may get you wanting him all to yourself. The best thing I would say is for you to weigh the pros, cons, and the what ifs. See if you can keep just being fuckbuddies with him. See if your new feelings towards him are getting in the way of you two just continuing to be fuckbuddies. See if he’s willing to in fact get into a relationship with you. See how you would handle the long distance relationship. See if he would actually make a good boyfriend and that he’s not just good in bed. Then once you analyze everything, see if it’s best for you to keep the fling going or to call it quits.
Personally, from my experience, if I see that I want something more than just a fuckbuddy, I go out and try to find myself a girl I’m willing to date. I keep the roles between “fuck”, “buddy”, and “girlfriend” very distinct from one another. If I’m just in a fuckbuddy relationship with a girl, I try to make sure it stays that way. If I want more than just great sex then I find myself a girlfriend. I try not to have any girls as simply buddies, because I honestly see no point in it. But I try to come to terms with what I want before getting into an either fuckbuddy or gf/bf relationship.
If you’re just screwing around and everything is great, why not just keep it that way? Why complicate things with a relationship, and the long-distance barrier, and with the fact that he’s already got a girlfriend. I would just keep it fun and if you need more security and emotional support from a man, find yourself another guy who is closer and is willing to be something more than just a fuckbuddy. If that may be difficult because he is keeping you feeling close due to the frequent calls and text messages, let him know that he shouldn’t find it necessary to constantly call/text you and you two should simply call each other when you’re in the area and in need of a good ol’ fashioned fun night of “fantastic” sex. Of course, unless you’ve weighed the pros, cons, and what ifs, and you’re willing to have him break-up with his girlfriend and are willing to keep a long-distance relationship going, then find out from him if he’s willing to do the same and take it from there.
Hope that helps. Please leave a comment with your thoughts. And Becky, if you or anyone else has any dating questions in mind, feel free to contact me. Cheers!