I Want a Fuck-Buddy, Not a Girlfriend
Robby G!!! Love your info man, great advice on not so popular, to the masses,
topics. My situation goes like this. My girlfriend and I were dating for
nearly 3 years. Then about 3 months ago out of nowhere she says she has lost
feelings for me. I sleep on the statement and think about it and the next
morning I call her to end the relationship. We both agree to do our own
thing and if at a later date see if we can remain friends. Now during this 3
month stint of freedom I have talked to a few girls, but am not considering
a GF anywhere in the near future (but u never know, right?) I had contacted
this girl I had hung out with a few times with friends and she said that she
had gotten back with her old BF recently and I left it at that. Then about
3wks ago she hits me up on FB saying that she was no longer with him. So,
taking the apparent hint, I strike up a convo with her and just see what
she’s been up to and when we’re gonna hang out. Now during this time she was
talking to someone else, but that ended about a week ago. So I picked her up
this past weekend to hang out, play beer pong and just hang out. She spent the
night and we fucked like crazy!!! Now I do like the girl apparently and we
have a lot of things in common plus she is smokin hot, but I’m not really
looking for a GF, but she seems like the type of person that wants more than
just a fuck buddy. I don’t wanna stop banging her because we have a good thing
going and she’s a really cool girl. Does it sound like a typical situation u
usually hear?? It’s just I don’t wanna get tied down so quickly, but I don’t
wanna lose the amazing sex. Sounds selfish when I look over this, but wanted
to get the love experts opinion lol. If u need more info or input I am
gladly available for that. Thanx for taking your time to read this and
hopefully I’ll hear from u soon!!
Ps. Her bday is this week and I offered to rent a hotel room to do our thing
in. Is that too much or preferred??
It’s totally understandable that you don’t want to get into a serious relationship only three months after breaking up with a girl you’ve been for three years. So don’t think it’s selfish that you just want to find a girl to sleep with and not have to lose any of your freedoms. A clear way to make your point across is by droppin hints that you have recently gotten out of a long term relationship and aren’t ready for anything that serious for a while. Do not tell the girl that you are completely blocking any such idea out of your head, but you are just do not feel ready for any such thing yet. But what matters more than what you say is how you act. In the following subheading I would like to quote from my own eBook that I am in the process of writing, because it falls perfectly in the way a man in your position, who is just starting out to sleep with a new woman and wants her as a fuck-buddy rather than a girlfriend, should act.
The Right Approach
There are two kinds of mistakes that men need to avoid after sleeping with a woman they want to turn into their fuck-buddies. Sometimes men act clingy themselves and feel like just because they slept with the woman, they owe them something. They act as if they are surprised that they got the woman to sleep with them and feel obligated to be over-nice to them and this makes the woman think that the man isn’t ready for a fuck-buddy relationship and wants something more serious. In order to turn the woman into a fuck-buddy, you must make it obvious to her that you two are not a couple and you have things to do besides spend more time than you have to with her. Cuddling is the most incorrect move a man can make after sex. Even if she says she’s used to cuddling and wants to cuddle, tell her, “Sorry, I’m not the type of guy to cuddle. I hate it. It’s too much for those long-term couples.”
Then there are the type of men that try to over act and over emphasize the fact that he wants the woman to be his fuck-buddy and ends up looking like a complete asshole who the woman will regret ever sleeping with.
The correct way to act when you sleep with a woman is to be as casual as ever. Make it seem like sex is just a normal part of your “friendship” and you expected it to happen. You shouldn’t be surprised that she slept with you nor should you act like you are using her only for the sex. Do not sleep over or cuddle after sex, but be considerate enough to not make her feel like she is just a sex object used strictly for your pleasures. It is unbelievable how much more you can accomplish by simply acting human and down to earth with a woman. Talking about your successes or positive traits only work on immature, shallow girls, but when you are dealing with women who can think for themselves, they will only perceive you as a cocky, insecure egoist who cannot see anything past his nose. The less “full of it” you seem, the better your chances are with getting a girl to sleep with you and remain long-term fuck-buddies. Do not attempt to justify yourself or impress the woman with words, instead use actions to show her that you are in fact the type of person you want her to “perceive” you as. However, do it with as much subtlety as possible, and with the least possible amount of effort.
Nevertheless, if you are in an environment where you are being playful and decide to make compliments, it is alright to be over the top with what you say or do. Even if she knows that you are full of shit when you are saying it and you have a grin on your face confirming your flattery. The things you say will prove that though you have a pragmatic side to you, you also have a “player” side to you, which proves that speaking and getting girls comes easy to you.
On Your Own Terms
This little excerpt explains the best way to get a girl to be your fuck buddy without later expecting something more. And also, this way she will know your intentions, but will be hesitant to either break it off or even discuss it with you because this will create an impression that it isn’t even anything serious enough for discussion.
As the birthday idea you have is concerned, I personally would be against renting out a hotel room and doing this entire nice gesture, unless you want her to think you are actually interested in another serious relationship. However, because you mentioned that you aren’t ready for anything like that, I would instead call her to wish her a happy birthday sometime later in the day to wish her the best, and give her some kind of present a few days after. This shows that you do care enough about her to get her something, but you aren’t looking for anything serious because you did not plan anything so extravagent such as a hotel room.