Interview with Richard La Ruina
Faithful readers, as you’ve noticed, I have been giving lots of advice on Boss living for men along with a big focus on Dating Advice. Today I interviewed a man –a legend– in the game of dating. His name is Richard La Ruina, better known as The Gambler, and he’s not only a Boss of a player, but he’s also an innovator of the game of pick-up artistry. It was an honor interviewing such a grand-master, and if you haven’t heard about his site already, it’s PUATraining.com and he offers men chances to go from zero to hero through his much successful Bootcamps. He’s also written an acclaimed book on pick-up artistry entitled “The Natural Art of Seduction: Secrets of Success with Women.” Now please take the time to read and enjoy the interview, because it’ll teach you a thing or two on dating.
Let’s start by having my readers understand what exactly you do and what your bootcamps really do for men?
My full time job is training men how to be better with women. I run a company based in London which does this. We’ve trained 3000 guys, employ 15 trainers, and hold events in Europe and America. Our bootcamps take guys and give them 24 hours of intense hands-on training. We work on their first impression, body language, fashion, opening lines, conversation skills, how to get a number, how to go for the kiss, text and follow game, making dates good, sex skills, dance-floor skills, etc. During the weekend we bring in beautiful models for the guys to practice what they’ve learnt on, and most importantly we take the guys out with our instructors and help them approach women in the streets and bars. On an average weekend, every guy will get some numbers, half will get kisses, and a few might get even more. In the weeks and months following the bootcamp, results will be even better.
I’ve noticed the success of your courses and seen many guys come out of it really happy and enthusiastic with what they’ve learnt. How did the idea for your bootcamp develop?
When I developed the bootcamp I had done 30 or so twelve hour 1on1s. During this time I figured out that most guys had three types of problems – scared to approach women, running out of stuff to say, and don’t know how to physically escalate. There were also a bunch of smaller issues. So first I designed the bootcamp to solve these issues. Next I thought about what I wish I’d had when I was terrible with women – real honest feedback on how I come across from a beautiful savvy woman, expert guys who can tell me what to do and give me feedback on what I do right and wrong. Over 3 years, it’s been tuned and refined to get maximum results in each section of the course.
I recently took a poll asking men whether they rather have a girlfriend or a steady fuck-buddy, and people prefer to have a girlfriend. Why do you think this is so and what do you prefer, and why?
A fuck buddy is just sex. Most people want a relationship, they like romance, and something of lasting value. If a girl is only good enough to be an FB, then she can’t really do much for you so it won’t be a fulfilling experience. I prefer a relationship with a girlfriend of really high quality and since they aren’t super common, when I’m single I might have multiple girlfriends.
You believe that a minority of guys get the majority of girls while many men miss out on the action. In a few words, what makes that minority of players stand out of the pack?
The average guy doesn’t get what women want. He’s either not approaching at all, or he’s approaching and putting her on a pedestal, giving her compliments, buying her drinks and being boring and too nice. He probably isn’t too comfortable around women and doesn’t have female friends. A few guys get it. They are comfortable around women, they know that women like a guy with an edge, they have the alpha male thing going. How they got this is debatable, some guys lost their virginity when they were 14 and have always been the confident kid. Other guys are in a position where they are surrounded by women who are attracted to them because they run a restaurant or work in a nightclub (doorman, DJ, barman, etc). These are the guys that naturally crack the code and can pick up anytime they want. Other guys leave it to chance . Now you have the PUAs who can jump out of the loser category and start getting as many girls as the “naturals”.
Have you ever been in a situation where you couldn’t really read whether woman was genuinely interested in you or just leading you on? And if so, how would you suggest men should handle such a situation?
Not recently, I’ve got intuition now for what is going on. Normally I’m pushing the pace vs waiting for signals and this is what I teach. You’ll easily be able to find out if the signal is real by smoothly making a move and seeing how she reacts. Guys are scared to go for the number or go for the kiss. If you do it smoothly and remain sensitive to whether she’s into it or not, harsh rejection isn’t possible.
To give an example, if you are not sure if you can kiss a girl or not, try playfully escalating. Tickle her, tease her, nudge her, hug her and tell her she’s so sweet. All of these are escalations towards a kiss and her response will tell you whether it’s on or not.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the interview and feel free to leave your comments. If you haven’t checked out his site already, here’s the link again: PUATraining.com.