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Is She Interested?

15 November 2010 No Comment

Robby G. This is my situation.
I just ended my 6 year relationship with my girlfriend. I had been thinking
about it for a few months and finally did it. It was easy for me to do, not
easy for her to take. I talked with some girls, banged a couple randoms. A
bunch of new hot girls got hired at my work. I started to work on some. I
met this one girl. At first I just wanted to get drunk and bang her a few
times. We started talking I didn’t hit on her really just tried to be cool
and make her laugh. We started texting each other. Me and some friends were
going to the bar one night. I texted her and said she should come with her
roommate (her roommate works with me too.) She came out I got wasted and
thrown in the drunk tank. When I talked to her the next day she thought it
was hilarious. We kept texting each other. She was having people over and
wanted me to come over and drink the next weekend. I got drunk and stayed in
her bed. I tried to bang her but she wouldn’t let me. I was supposed to go
over the next night but she cancelled last minute. I went over to a friends
place instead. We had been texting each other frequently that day. I stopped
texting her as much. She asked if I was mad but I played it off that I was
driving and couldn’t text. I just kept the text short and neutral. She
texted me later in the evening“ if you want you can still come over I’m
not doing anything now” I went over, I tried to bang her she wouldn’t
let me. She said she was hesitant to hook up with someone from work because
of rumours. She cuddled up to me during the night. I couldn’t tell if she
really wanted to hook up or if she was just playing games. We kept texting
each other. I invited her over to my place a few times and she said yeah but
then cancelled at the last minute. I shortened my texts. She could tell I
was mad. I was working night shift, she was drinking with people at her
place. She told me to come over and cuddle after I got off at 7am. I went
over she cuddled up to me right away. She started to kiss and grind. I tried
to go down her pants. No dice. We talked about stuff for awhile. She said
she was worried about people talking at work, she did’nt want rumours going
around. (We work at a youth jail this can lead into problems.) She also told
me she just got out of a 2 year relationship and she wasn’t looking for
anything serious and told herself not to hook up with anyone from work
because it can turn out bad. I just wanted to bang a few times and that’s
it. I hung out with her, her roommate, and a guy from work. I got wasted I
stayed the night and we banged. We started to text for often. Over the
course of texting she was very clear that she does not want anything except
to hang and bang, but we made an agreement we won’t hook up with anyone else
from work but she really does not want a relationship at all. I thought
perfect. We kept texting everyday. She was going to Vegas for 3 days. We
kept texting and I jokingly said you better not bang guys down there. She
told me why? it doesn’t matter we aren’t together and its none of my
business. We kept texting and she kept stressing that she just wants to fool
around nothing exclusive just no people from work. S
She keeps stressing to me she doesn’t want a relationship and thinks I’m a
awesome guy, wants to bang but is hesitant about banging because of work. I
didn’t care about what people said at work, I just wanted to bang her
because she was hot and lots of guys at work wanted to. We kept testing
allot. I noticed that I went from wanting to bang lots of girls to thinking
about her a lot. I noticed that I was starting to like her. She went to
Vegas. I played it cool like I wasn’t worried about her doing guys and
that I was pumped for her to go, I kind of hinted that I wanted something
kind of exclusive, nothing serious just bang only each other. She did not
want anything exclusive, she had mentioned when we first started testing
each other everyday that she had loose ends with a guy. She texted me from
the airport that she was going to turn her phone off for 3 days and would
text me when she gets back. I played it cool said I was jealous that she
gets to go to Vegas and get drunk while I am on nights. That night she
texted me from Vegas that she was thinking of me. Over the next few days she
kept testing me. She called me a few times as well drunk out of her mind. I
couldn’t even understand her really. The last night in Vegas she texted
me. I didn’t get the text for a few hours. I texted her back. I heard
nothing. When I did hear back from her I said I was kind of worried you kept
in touch with me the whole time and called me drunk every night then you
didn’t answer my texts and you just disappeared. She responded I am not
your girlfriend. I said I know I‘m not trying to make it like that but you
text me cute things and called me drunk 3 times while your in Vegas. She
said she “was sorry she isn’t trying to make it like that and she knows
the way we act is relationship style which is weird.”. Her texts were kind
of different after that kind of distant. She was supposed to come over to my
place after work the night after she got back from vegas. She said she was
so tired she didn’t want to. I asked if she wanted to still hang sometime
soon. She said I could come over to her place she is just in a bad mood and
feels lazy. I went over and she was really grumpy. We kind of got into a
argument she said I don’t know what your expecting from this. I said
nothing I could tell she was trying to make it clear that she just wants to
hang and bang. I said “ I’m not expecting anything but you cant say that
and send those kinds of texts while your in Vegas.” We both were quiet
for the next while. When we were lying in her bed that night I said
something and she got mad. We were quiet for awhile. I said ok do you want
me to go home this is awkward? She said no she was over it. We started to
cuddle and kiss. I went down her pants and she was so wet right away. I said
wow your wet already. She said well its been a few days. I took this as a
hint that she was trying to tell me she didn’t bang any guys in vegas) I
said you have no idea how happy I am to hear that, she giggled. We finally
banged a second time and this time I didn’t have any performance anxiety
(the levitra probably helped to). When she got back into bed she said “ I
am going to sleep really good now, your really good in bed. She got called
into work early in the morning she went in. I was already supposed to stay
the next night because I was going to a kegger near her place and she said I
could stay at her place after the kegger. She told me to stay at her place
during the day while she was at work instead of driving back to my place 45
mins away then coming back the same day. Now I am sitting at her place. I
notice now that I really like this girl. I went from wanting to be single
for awhile to really and play her to liking her a lot. I thought back and
noticed that I think about her a lot and we text everyday. When she is
sleeping in bed I can hardly keep my hands off of her. Her body and face are
so sexy. I never really like just cuddling with girls, its gay. I am
stressed now because it seems the tables have turned. I don’t know what to
do but I know I don’t just want to bang this girl anymore. I don’t know
if I want a girlfriend either but I cant help these feelings for her. I’ve
been with a lot of girls, a lot. This is the first girl ever I think that
has giving me this feeling and I’ve never had butterflies either. I
don’t know what to do. I don’t know what she is thinking or how she
feels about me. How do I get her to myself. I think she might like me but
still just wants to bang, she is a very independent person. I don’t know
what to think. I think the potential is there for it to happen I just have
to play my cards right? Help me out brother??? P.S. I tried to donate it
would not work.

Don’t worry about the donate, half the fucking site has been acting up. Anyways, I gotta say that was one of the most interesting reads I’ve ever gotten. I don’t know if it’s because I can relate or what, but I will say that it seems to be she kept telling you all those times that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship to make it clear to you, but to convince herself that she should hold distance between you too. A lot of these independent type girls are more insecure than anything, and that’s sort of actually what makes us want them even more. I know when she tells you that she doesn’t want a relationship and only wants to bang that it makes you doubt the idea that a relationship is possible, but it is those moment when she calls you from Vegas drunk and texts you even though she said she wouldn’t, and hints at the fact that she didn’t sleep with anyone while on her trip that reveals the truth she hides when she puts on her front. As you said, all you need to do is play your cards right and continue doing what you’re doing. I would suggest however that you dim down a little bit on the emotional element and maybe treat her more like a fuck buddy. I don’t mean that you should treat her any worse, but I mean that you should limit your texts and such, because that way she will see the difference between what she thinks she wants and what you have bee supplying her lately. She clearly likes your out-goingness and your attitude so just keep that up and don’t lose that aloofness or else she may lose interest. You really have to focus on what she seems to be interested in any particular moment and play on that. It seems like she is very keen on having fun and looking up to the type of man that is fun and crazy, and does not want someone who will run after her like she’s the last girl on earth. Hearing her out and giving her the center of attention is important at times, but also don’t allow her to dwell too much on any particular subject when you’re talking. The key I think for you to play your cards right, is like what I said, don’t show too much emotions (because that may scare her slightly) and instead be playful and fun when you’re with her, because clearly she’s into that sort of thing.

Also, the fact that she is being so unpredictable is what may be the reason behind why you like her so much. If she was to say she wants a relationship after the first time you hooked up, you’d probably want to move on as soon as possible. But then again the fact that you’ve had a long term girlfriend in the past shows that you can commit and have no problem with that. I think that it could be a great relationship if you continue to do what you’re doing but just up your game slightly and show her that she’s not your only option, but she definitely is your number one choice. I also think that you shouldn’t push for a relationship, but have her be the one to realize that a relationship with you can work out great and eventually she will be the one to want the relationship. I am sure that she won’t just come to you and tell you she wants something serious, but it will be done in a way that you will know for a fact that she’s yours. She’s on the verge of laying her cards down and it’s really up to you to just not screw it up and everything should fall into place. Enjoy the chase while it lasts… but I’m sure the catch will be great too. Cheers!

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