It Has Been Said…
Photo by Elmo AlvesThe talking cures is something that actually works. I completely believe this. All of us are philosophers in our own way. We analyze, observe, self-critique, and improve on our own faults. When it comes to talking about things whether with a girlfriend, a family member, a friend, or even yourself at times, we sometimes bite our tongue. Biting your tongue when you’re about to say something nasty that you will probably regret in the future can only be a good thing, but when it’s something you feel strongly about, it really destroys you as a person. Any way you put it, it ends up boiling at some point and the consequence isn’t pretty.
Communicate With Your Partner
If you have something that’s been bothering you about your boyfriend/girlfriend, they are more than likely not doing it to annoy you. So speak up about it and mention it in a conversation. It is better to do it straight off the bat rather than holding it in for it to brew and then one day blurting it out, attacking them verbally about it completely out of the blue. When you and your girlfriend are alone in the room talking about things, you end up talking about things you wouldn’t talk about in front of other people. If you’re both relaxed and there’s no arguments between you, it could be the best time to express things about anything you think are important. Make sure she’s listening and give some reasoning behind it. Try to make her understand rather than turning it into an argument.
Another thing is if you feel like you haven’t expressed certain things to your partner that you wish you should have. Whether during the relationship or after it, it’s best to get the things off your chest. I for one know that when I once broke up with my girl, it was abrupt and I really wasn’t in the right atmosphere to tell her exactly what I felt, and that stayed inside with me. I wish I could find a good time to sit her down and discuss a few things. Block out any sort of interferance, whether it’s her interruptions or phone calls that may come in or anything for that matter, and tell her what was on my mind. No need to be rude, just state things you feel you need to express. This isn’t just to let her know something, but it’s more for your own self.
Answer to No Man
It gets really hectic when people feel like they need to answer to someone whenever they make a decision. I find it a lot easier for a man to go on if he sincerely believes he doesn’t have to answer to anyone about his actions. If you do something you utterly believe is the right move on your part, the response of “I felt it was the right thing to do” should suffice. This is also a great boost to your confidence level–that you are able to do something without giving any reason for it to any sort of authority-figure. We’re all grown people with our own ideas of right and wrong and in the cases when we think is the way it should be done, that is the way to do it. This is different than to lack skills of compromise. Compromising is good. I’m saying that you should secure with your decisions and that certain situations call for certain actions, and if someone doesn’t like it then it’s their problem to live with.
I Say What I Believe
Going along with not answering to any man, don’t feel the need to bite your tongue when you think you’re right. Family, friends, cops, anyone that has some sort of influence on your life can sometimes be wrong. It could be offensive what they say or do and through that may attempt to oppress some things about you that they feel is right. If you feel that you should say something about it, then voice yourself. Practising the ability to voice yourself could be one of the most useful things you can do. That’s what we pay psychiatrists for. So I think if I personally would say the things I felt directly to the people that have effect on it then it would really feel like a load off my shoulders. This doesn’t mean to attack people about things that they’re doing that you don’t like, but mentioning it and basing your concern on some reasonable basis, it can only help.
Stay safe and eat your vitamins.