Home » Relationship Tips

It Will Take Time

31 July 2010 3 Comments

Basically a guy i was friends with 7 years ago (making me 14) randomly
droppped round my house on the off chance we still lived there! i instantly
remebered how much id liked him when we were kids and he gave me his number
saying we must catch up! i text him later that day saying how good it was to
see him and not to be a stranger! He then text back asking me to go out with
him for dinner! I agreed and we kept texting, just about what we were up to.
The meal went really well and we got on so well he kept saying how gorgeous
and funny and clever i was and how proud he was of me going to uni! Then we
kissed and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together! We
carried on texting and he said how much he’d enjoyed our meal. He asked to
go round his place about 4 days later to test his bed. We watched a film and he was
very affectionate and complementary. Then after that the texts became fewer
and it took him longer to reply. I will say however he works a lot he
gets up at 4am and doesn’t usually get home till 8pm. Then asked me if I
wanted to meet up on the Saturday so i said yes then on the Saturday he text to say
he’d been asked to work and couldn’t really say no coz the money was good but
he was really sorry and would make it up to me. The following week the texts
were still few but i refused to be the one to always text first so often
left it up to him to contact or ring me. Then i saw him on Saturday and he was hungover
and a bit quiet…he looked shattered to be honest. we went out and got
chinese, watched a film and had sex. I’d assumed he was gonna stay but to my
suprise at half 11 he said he had to go coz he’d promised his housemate he’d
help him do stuff on the house and had to be up a 6 to go to the builders
merchants so i tried to get him to stay without sounding needy but he left
saying he’d text when he got home. I never got a text and when i woke up still
no text so I text him which I wasnt sure whether to do just jokingly saying
hope ur not dead in a ditch ha ha and he kinda brushed over it and said
getting up at 6 was horrible on his day off but he enjoyed last night. I
like him but really dont want to become his fb. I dont know what to do. Am i
risking falling into it or is this just normal bloke stuff? im not used to
this whole dating thing as i was with my last bf for 2 years!

He doesn’t sound like he is too keen on starting a long term relationship and is actually focusing on other parts of his life. He may like you, but it sounds like he isn’t the type to put you ahead of everything and do all the little romantic things that people do when they just start dating. His job clearly takes up a lot of his time and patience as well, and I think on his time off he wants someone that will like to be with him but will not hassle him too much about relationships or going out often, etc. He may make a good boyfriend, but I would say that you shouldn’t expect him to spend all his free time with you. He still requires some free time for himself to enjoy life and have some individual freedom.

If you want to keep him around then you must have enough patience for him and I believe you will have to see him on his terms. He does not seem too vulnerable and one of those guys who has to always be seeing some girl and cannot function when they are not in a relationship. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has never had a long term relationship, however I think if you keep working on it then he will eventually come around and will get used to you and will want to see you more and more often. It’s essentially upto you if you want to spend so much time on him to see if he is willing to change sometime down the road. Or of course you may want to move on and find someone who is ready for the same things you are and will not treat you like a friend with benefits, even though I do not think that is how he fundamentally perceives you. He just has other things on his mind and cannot fully open up to you about them right now, but if you keep being around and gain his trust then he may become more open and will want to spend more time with you.


  • kelly said:

    Thanks that has really helped….i’ll just have to be patient and see what happens.

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Kelly: Yeah, I honestly think that’s the best option for you right now. All the best.

    Reply to Comment

  • Victorina Jorinscay said:

    Hrmm that was weird, my remark bought eaten. Anyway I wanted to say that it’s good to know that someone else additionally talked about this as I had trouble discovering the identical data elsewhere. This was the primary place that informed me the answer. Thanks.

    Reply to Comment

Leave your Thoughts!