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Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer

11 August 2009 7 Comments

I know it’s a grim notion to grip, but the fact is you come into this world alone and you leave this world alone. I am currently reading a novel, which I will write a review of on this blog when I finish, and there was a great example illustrated of a father teaching his son not to trust anyone. “A father puts his son on a ledge, fifteen feet from the ground. Kid’s about six. The father then tells the kid to jump. The kid shakes his head, afraid to make the move. The father tells him not to worry, Daddy’s here and Daddy will catch you. The kid swallows hard, clenches his hands and makes the jump. The father moves out of the way and lets the kid land on the ground, cuts, bruises, scrapes, what have you. The father bends over and points a finger in the face of his crying boy. And then he tells him, ‘Remember one thing. In this life, never trust anybody.'”

And that’s the cold hard truth. As I get older I realize how disloyal this world really is and that it is better to be the strong silent type than a cocky blabber-mouth who goes around making best-friends, sharing secrets, and swearing to never betray him in return not to get betrayed. I’ve heard of people who had in fact cut their own hands and shook on it to be brothers till death, and by the end of these factual stories they both searched for each other to put a knife through each others’ hearts. In this life you can never foresee what will exactly happen and how it will happen, and it is best to cut down on any chances of anyone using anything they know against you. Because one day you’re best-friends getting drunk together, telling each other of your secrets, having a laugh, and then something happens and your own very best-friends ends up using what he knows about you to put you down or even get you sent to prison or even worse–killed. It is always the same people that you think are closest to you that will end up stabbing you in the back. The thing is, a person’s mind is a complex thing, and the slightest thought can trigger a hateful idea. Jelousy amongst peers can lead to dire consequences. Even though it comes with much experience and a way of being brought-up that will make a person learn to keep to themselves and only allow others to know the information that will not be able to harm him in the future, I give you these advice here so you at least put some thought into it and reassess some of the things you project and the perceptions you create of yourself for others. This isn’t about not being yourself, this is just about being careful of showing certain aspects of yourself to others: to both enemies and friends.

That’s a miserable way of living, some may say. But in fact it’s the most careful way of living. If you don’t want to make mistakes and instead want to learn from the mistakes of others, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Do not trust anyone and rememeber that you will almost never get hurt by people you don’t know. It is always people that are closest to you (either friend or enemy) that will cause you harm.

7 Ways to Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer

1. Listen more than you talk.

2. People tend to speak truth when they are drunk, take advantage of that.

3. Always think, ‘What’s in it for him/her?’ If there is no clear benefit they are receiving in return to helping you in some way or form then there is a chance of some future harm that may be brought upon you by that person. Be cautious.

4. Never underestimate your enemies. You know how they say “be cautious of the quietest man at the table,” well that’s the truth. Your enemy might not be striking back right away, but don’t take his direct inaction for weakness. He may be plotting and waiting to attack you at your most vulnerable of times.

5. Forgive but don’t forget. If someone has done something to harm you in the past, no matter how small, always keep it in mind that he may do it again. It is sometimes in your benefit to forgive that person, but it is never in your benefit to forget that the person had either willed or had brought harm to you.

6. Never rule anyone out. When something bad has been done to you, think first who it may benefit. Then think how they were able to get close enough to harm you. Then not only your enemy may prevail, but the face of the ‘friend’ who gave certain information about you may become evident as well.

7. Never prepare for what you think your enemy will do, prepare for what your enemy is capable of doing.

This life isn’t all shits and giggles, you have to develop foresight and think about the things you say or do to make sure they don’t come back to harm you.

If you have any other ways to keep your friends close, and your enemies closer you think I have missed in this list, please leave a comment below.


  • Al said:

    Its truly a horrible way to live your life, going about thinking you cant trust anyone. However, there is a lot of truth behind this. Ive been burned by many people in my life, of course more of them people somewhat considered as friends or associates. Still I do tend to have my trust in my family and in a very small and carefully selected group of my friends. I know that no matter when or why Im calling for help I could rely on them along with my family. But you are right Robby, and it sounds liek the novel “Gangster” but you really do have to be careful about who you trust in this really slimy world.
    .-= Al´s last blog ..Asian Wants Ass Filling =-.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Al: Yeah, the quote I used is from the book “Gangster” by Lorenzo Carcattera.

  • Sandy said:

    I agree with you and like the 6 points you’ve mentioned but it’s extremely difficult to go around living without trusting anyone. Al hits the nail on the head that people need to find close friends and family members that they can trust and not expands that close circle too much.
    Drunk people speak a lot of freedom and you mention it, and I agree that it’s important to take advantage of those moments whenever the opportunity is there.

  • Jami said:

    I do not believe that you can’t trust ANYONE – there are definitely people you can AND should trust, however, I firmly believe in keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. A good friend of mine, just gave me the following advice today, and I thought it was appropriate here: Never prepare for what you think your enemy will do, prepare for what your enemy is capable of doing.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Jami: That’s a great word of advice your friend gave you. Trusting people sometimes comes naturally after a given time you spend with a person and it’s harder to distrust people than to take the benefit of the doubt and put your trust in them.

    PS: In fact I like that quote so much I’m going to change it from 6 to 7 ways to keep you friends close and your enemies closer, if you don’t mind.

  • Robby G (author) said:

    By the way, I am saying “Do not trust ANYONE” in the crudest and most extreme form in order to make a point. There are situations and occurences where you are forced to trust certain people, but in specific situation where there is a lot on the line I am advising that a lot of time goes into thinking whether or not you can trust that person (whether it is your business partner, friend, or even family member)… and it is important to not brush that question off, thinking “It’s my best friend, he’ll never betray me and it’s bad of me to even think about it.” That’s the sort of thought that can really come to screw you in the ass afterwards, so always be careful. And if there is ever any doubt, it’s usually best not to trust that person.
    Hope that clarified a few things.

  • Farooqie said:

    well i think you shouldn’t have best friends and friends in different categories, i just have friends, and then people i know, i’ll tell shit to my friends but keep on the Down low with the people i kno, also if i forgive some1, it really means i’ll talk to them again but wont consider them a friend 95 percent of the time…keep your friends a small group that you can trust, if your in trouble and you cant call your friends for help, then their not friends

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