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Leader of the Pack: The Alpha Male

17 September 2009 3 Comments

Why does a small minority of men get the majority amount of women? Why is it that you give a woman all your attention, affection, interest, and you get the cold shoulder? Why does talking and trying to get with a girl come with such difficulty for you while it comes almost naturally for other men? Have you ever given these points a thought and wished you had a solid answer so you could get the most beautiful women while your colleagues looked at you and wished they were you. The answer to those questions isn’t a difficult one at all in fact. The truth is, those few men who get the majority of women are the leaders of the pack. They are the Alpha males. They don’t have to be rich, good looking, intelligent, or heroic. All they have to be is comfortable and confident. We hear that a lot though, don’t we? Confidence. Be confident. But how do we exactly become confident and how do we approach this issue of having a lack of confidence? I’d like to give you an illustration of both confidence and comfort, and how it can be applied to getting an uncountable amount of women.

The Confident Man

We all know that experience makes perfect, but just like looking for a job without any experience it’s very hard to get the job of your dreams. So what do you do? You go and become an intern or volunteer somewhere, or find a moderate paying job where you’ll have to take shit for a few months/years so you can build up your resume and experience. Same thing with women. To build up your confidence and experience with women, you cannot put your standards too high, but you cannot also completely disregard the standard system. If you’re not the best pick-up artist, try to find girls that are in your comfort zone. Again, confidence and comfort go hand-in-hand, so to develop one, you must take the other into perspective. By saying that you should find women in your comfort zone, I mean that you shouldn’t aim for the girl everyone is going for unless you’re comfortable in the notion that you will be the one to get her number by the end of the night. If you have any doubt, then begin by settling for second best, or third, or even forth best at times. I’m not saying that you should ultimately get into bed with them, unless of course you want to. What this exercise allows you to develop is confidence with your actions and they way you present yourself. Knowing that she is “below” you on a very shallow and ideological level, you will feel more dominant over her, therefore your words and actions will not be over-analyzed and you will develop a certain comfort in having discussions with her, poking fun at her in a smooth way, and ending up having her want you more than you want her. This is essentially and what we all want to get accross at the end of the day. You should make the woman feel like she wants you more than you want her. Nonetheless, this comes through practise and experience.

Standards and the Pedestal

We’ve all heard: Never put a woman on a pedestal. This is a basic truth, but is sometimes hard to master. Some think to take women off a pedestal of the mind, they must get rid of the standard system. I completely disagree. The pedestal makes you ideolize a woman. The standard system gives you the idea of whether a woman is good enough for you. Not if you’re good enough for her (that’s the pedestal), but if she’s good enough for you. Now over time with dealing with women in your comfort zone, you will become more confident and what you will notice is that your “what if’s” will slowly begin to get thrown out of your mind. You will become less hesitant in approaching women and saying things which you usually wouldn’t say to someone you ideolize, because those women you’ve once ideolized will become nothing more than just another woman amongst millions of others.

Should I– “Hello, Ladies”

There shouldn’t be too much thought put into approaching women. Ever. The only thought you should have when you see a good looking woman is, “Is she worth wasting time on talking?” If the answer is yes, then the next thought should be, “What’s the worst that can happen.” And that’s it, grow a pair of balls, and go up to her. I think that for beginners who try to grow and move up to women that aren’t in their comfort zone, the “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” mentality is essential. Of course, the answer to that question should never outweigh you from coming up to her. That’s the point of the question: That there isn’t anything that bad which can happen that will ruin your life. So just go for it, you’ll never succeed until you try. Personally, my only problem with approaching a girl at a club or any other social place is that I think twice about picking up one girl because I think that at any point in time a better looking girl may walk in. But then I go ahead anyways, because at any given moment I can get this one’s number, excuse myself, and go on to pick up the other girl. You’re the leader wherever you go and no guy in the whole place can do it better than you. Insecurities are for the followers, and if you want to be the Alpha male who gets the women he wants, you must become confident and comfortable enough to do the things you want.

Standing Out of the Pack

It makes me laugh when I go to the club and see men standing around the sides of the walls thinking the girl will just come up to them. This tactic barely ever works, and when it does, it only works on ugly girls. A sexy, self-respecting woman will most likely not approach you. She will have so many other guys around that the chances of her seeing and wanting you are slim. You should be a man and go for it. Remember, women aren’t there to rip your head off. They enjoy being approached even by the ugliest guy as long as he is confident, looks like he knows what he’s doing, and is able to be comfortable around her and make her feel comfortable around him.

Now it may seem like there’s a lot of information here, but to break up the basics: 1. Be the leader and don’t be afraid to approach a woman you find good looking. 2. Build up your comfort level around women by starting out with women that you feel are below your standard level, and then gradually move up. 3. Be confident in the way you talk, act, and pick up women. 4. Have the “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” mentality. 5. Never put a woman on a pedestal, but have standards for yourself.


  • Al said:

    Love the post, every ounce of it was truth. Yes it is nerve-racking and somtimes difficult to talk to woman. However, thats with the so called “pedestal” for a long time, I would never approach woman, for fear of rejection, which I’m sure is what most guys fear. Listen! You walk up, or sit down beside her, w.e. the situation is and just say Hi , simple, to be honest I found the best tactics to approach a woman is think of an opener that will not allow her to shut you down. Dont walk straight up to her and say ” I saw you from over there and liked the way you smile” I found this to be a NO-NO. Walk up to her, notice something she is doing, reading a magazine, eating something in a food court, starting at somebody, and use that as your opener. Example ” I was not sure what to get to eat, but i saw what your having looks good. Whats it called?” she cant say “no thank you”, or “i have a boyfriend”.. shes going to answer you and from there you can strike a convo.That seems to work best for me. LOL oops long comment, anyways, great post Robby, thanks.

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    Robby G Reply:

    @Al: Great comment. Giving compliments as the opener isn’t a good approach, I would agree. But coming up and saying something like you’ve said about food or whatever works best. This way you’re not showing any interest in her, but you just want her opinion on something. You’re not hitting on her, so she can’t tell you she’s not interested, because then she begins to look like an arrogant snob and that just makes her look awkward. Be as “carefree” as you can and just create conversation. Women don’t want to hear compliments from strangers. Men who act like the girl is too good for them and they constantly try to flatter them with charming compliments or jokes that make the men look like the joke, make the woman end up believing that she is too good for the man and that he is a clown. But the man who can talk to her freely and comfortably without any hints of finding her appealing is the one who ends up on top.

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  • Jon said:

    Spending time with women coworkers and having female acquiantances makes a man comfortable with women. Ever since high school i noticed the guys who were comfortable talking and spending time with girls ended up getting laid the most. This is a very useful and inrotmative post. Hands down Robby you know your shite. Thanks man.

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