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Let the Ex Stay in the Past

7 December 2012 No Comment

My ex and I have been going out for 3 years and this past summer we have broken up
and he said that we are both on different levels of our relationship blah blah
blah. And he just wants to live a single life in college. So before we left for
college we had sex and that’s it. We haven’t talked in 3 months and in this
three months I have found myself a fuck buddy. One day I just wanted to see how my
ex is doing and that lead to us meeting up and having sex. We both agreed that
if we have feelings for someone else or start getting feelings for each other we
have to stop. So we have been doing this long distance fuck buddy for a month
and it just doesn’t feel right. Like I do not understand why we are both letting
ourselves like fall back on each other. And another thing is that we told each
other about how he has been with girls since he’s been single and how I’ve been
with someone too and it’s just weird that we both told each other everything
that is going on with our sex life. I was just wondering now. Am I getting
myself into a horrible spot in me getting hurt or him getting hurt. This is a
bad idea to do this?

Getting into an “unknown” status like you’re currently doing with your boyfriend is a bad idea, and it’s even worse that you already have questions and concerns. If you we’re more confident and in control about the entire situation than it may have been okay and may work out in some way or form. But because you are goi g through with these thoughts means that you should get out of this before things get so fluttered that you or him will get hurt and, worst of all, will resent the fact that you ever even had a relationship in the first place.

If you believe it is a bad decision to keep hooking then you should end it. I must admit it is difficult for anyone to go from a formal relationship into a fuck buddy relationship where you speak on the subject of other partners you’ve had since your break up. My opinion is that if you loved your ex-boyfriend or even just liked him a lot then it is wise to not experiment with having him as a fuck buddy who will no longer be there for you as he was when you two went out. It’s best to let certain things end and let them remain in the past. It may be easier for him to deal with the entire situation but that is because he was the one to call it quits, so he became more emotionally distant, however you never had that closure. You already yourself clearly know that it was a bad idea hooking up with him and going on about your sex life even before you wrote to me, so just to solidify your concern, I think you should move on and try to take a break from relationships if you can. Don’t search for a rebound, because typically it is a bad idea, and that’s speaking from experience. Also, at this new age of technology we tend to never really unless ourselves from our past relationship by “checking up” on our exes through Facebook or other social networks, which is detrimental to ourselves emotionally. Once broken up, remain broken up by getting rid of them from your Friends list. Until you cut them off completely, you will not be able to mend and move on.

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