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Let Time Take its Course

25 February 2012 2 Comments

Hi Robby,
Hope you can help, I am 27 and have been single for a few years but I am ready
to put myself out there! I have had attention from men but I can be picky..I
have been hurt in the past, so I won’t settle for second best.
I have met a guy who is 23 through a friend, he seemed really nice, we danced the
night away and shared a kiss, he asked for my number and asked me on a date. I
accepted…we had been texting a lot and having a giggle. I thought we were
having a great time and I was looking forward to the date as he told me he liked
me (can’t get much clearer than that). The day of the date arrives and he
cancelled on me said he had to work. Then since has gone really quiet. Did he
like me, shall I forget him? I am so confused.
Kindest Regards

I wouldn’t rush to any conclusions right away. He cancelled on you, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still interested. My question would be, why did he cancel, which you asked him. To all the women out there, when a man cancels a date, don’t be ever be afraid to ask why. You have the right to know, and not only that, but if it’s some sort of emergency, maybe you can even ask if he needs any help. He told you he liked you, a guy doesn’t just do that and then sets up a date and then after all that goes completely cold and distant. I personally think you’re over-exaggerating at the moment and shouldn’t be as worried that he cancelled.

The reasons why a man would cancel a date the day of is either that something extremely important came up, he couldn’t get out of school/work, or (and I hate to say this) a more appealing/attractive woman was free that night. He told you straight up that he had to work, so I don’t think there’s any reason that you should suspect one of the other two reasons for him to cancel. Do not just forget about him and try to make things work. From talking to many people and having been asked for advice from my friends, I notice that we as people have become overly insecure about ourselves and are quite quick to quit and move on without really discovering whether or not there was a real future. Both men and women alike feel like if something isn’t developing in the first few weeks then there must be something wrong. I suggest you give it some time and don’t rush at the moment. He told you he likes you, you clearly like him, and I believe there is a little bit of need for you to give yourself the permission to not fear being let down. The best sort of relationships are the ones that don’t happen on a whim and are not based on “love at first sight” but are usually the ones that gradually grow on you and allow you to see and accept their flaws before taking in and falling in love with their positive attributes.

What to Do, What to Say…

Best thing for you to do is not to rush and give him and yourself time to see if you two are compatible. Learn more about him through texts and wait until he asks you again on another date. Don’t push him on it, but at the same time do not give him the cold shoulder, making him feel like if he messed up once that you won’t give him another chance. Men may be sensitive as well, so depending on what type of person he is and the experience he has had with women, he may be just in as much doubt as you are. Men, just like women, begin to over-think every little detail and each word the woman says or texts, and that usually ends in frustration. So make sure not to give him any reason to feel frustrated and second-guess your intentions as well. Give him hints that you are free on Friday but do not be blunt about it, making him think that you’re waiting just for him. In essence, don’t shy away from communicating your thoughts with him as long as you don’t flood him with them all at the same time. Get to know him better and let the relations grow with time without really rushing anything.


  • Emma said:

    Hi Robby,

    Thanks so much for your response! Your advise was great! Things did not work out with this guy, but was for the best I think! I do visit your site regular as it seems most of us have the same issues! I have taken advise from similar stories, so thanks for that also. I have recommended your site to my friends and I am sure I will return soon!
    Thanks again.
    Emma x

  • Robby G (author) said:

    @Emma: Thanks a lot! I always like to hear from readers, and I appreciate the recommendations.

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