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Make the First Move

4 February 2010 2 Comments

Hi Robby G. Ive asked for your advice before (Some serious relationships
are best left alone
). I need some more advice from you, continuing from the
last post. So i decided to take this girls offer. Im genuinely in love with
her, so tonight we were hanging out and what not and anytime i wanted to
make a move on her i would start to double guess myself… I wanted to but
something inside me is just holding me back. I dont know what it is. For
instance, we’re both sitting in my car and the perfect opportunity comes
along for a kiss. Shes waiting for it and i do nothing! I normally dont
have any problems, im usually the one to make the first move with previous
relationships… I dont know what it is but i just freeze and look away…
I want this girl so bad, but im hesitating! She even told me this is the
chance for me to kiss her… and what do i do… NOTHING! Im so mad at
myself right now… Plus i just gave her the impression that i dont like her
or something… Im very confused… Any advice on what is wrong with me
right now?

Kiss Me ...
You’re unsure if this is exactly what you want. Even though your heart and sex drive is telling you to make a move, your mind is taking over and making you hesitate on the whole thing. The simplest way to overcome this is to have a few drinks before the next opportunity to kiss her comes along. Also, since you’ve liked her for 3 years already, it is possible that you have grown fond of the fact that you couldn’t have her that entire time and now that she wants you, it feels unrealistic to the point that you’re not sure that you will still like her the same way after you make that move. So you should really figure out for yourself if this girls is the one you really want, and if so, then when you’re with her the next time, think to yourself ‘Fuck, it. It’s just another girl’ and go for it. The problem here is that you’re over-thinking everything. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in the way the relationship may steer, but your emotions towards her are telling you everything will be fine and to just man up and make a move. So you should really think about whether you’re certain if you want her and all the responsibilities that come with having her and then if you’re still keen on making the move, think of her as nothing special but just another girl. Once you’ve made the move, your mind will fall back into admiring her as something more than another girl, but by then you’ll have made the first move.

It is critical to calm down and take the pressure off the fact that you’re finally getting the green light to make a move on the girl you have liked for such a long time. Forget about the fact that you might have given her the impression that you don’t like her, because the next time you’ll be with her, you will reassure her that you do like her and want to take things further by doing all the right moves. Wish you all the best, and I know you’ll get it done next time. Remember, just think ‘Fuck it!’ to yourself and make that move.

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  • Alex said:

    Thanks Robby! But while i was waiting for you to write back, i kinda called some close friends of mine. My boy told me pretty much what you said, very manly advice. He told me my favorite universal advice “man the fuck up”. My other friend who happened to be a female told me very womanly advice and a story from personal experience. But i did follow through the second time around and so far so good. Next step is Valentine’s Day… But no worries. I got this from here on out. Good lookin out though Robby. Much appreciated. Any helpful hints for Valentines day that i may not know already? Believe it or not but im pretty suave with other woman but this girl is something else…

    Thanks again Robby


    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Alex: Great to hear that. I’m actually planning on posting a few Valentine’s day advice posts, it’s just I’ve been getting crazy amount of dating questions and it’s been difficult to get to everything on time. I’m also planning something which I will launch hopefully within a couple of months that should sort things out for a lot of men out there concerning fuck buddies–don’t want to reveal too much about it right now but I’m looking forward to it.

    All the best,


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