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Man, She Put a Spell On Him

12 April 2010 6 Comments

So I am married and my Fuck Buddy is also married. It is strictly sex for
me, we have incredible, passionate, wild sex. He’s very into anal and mmf
threesomes, I’m having a blast. However, recently he constantly asks if I’m
fucking anyone else. (I’m not) He told me because he has a “thing” for me,
he has no other fuck buddies because he doesn’t feel like it’s ‘right’. But
then he tells me to go out and fuck other guys, but he would expect me to be
honest and tell him about it. Where is the logic in this? I don’t know where
I stand and what he’s trying to accomplish. Is he just freaky and gets off
on knowing about me with other guys? Does he want me to fuck someone else so
that he has an out? Is he developing feelings and its a jealousy thing?

**delirium tremens**
I think you hit the nail on the head with the last one. It could be he is developing feelings and thinks the only way to get rid of them is if you sleep with someone else and tell him about it. It happens often with male fuck buddies who are already in a relationship and know that there should not be any kind of emotional attachment, but when they start developing certain feelings for the fuck buddy, they begin to resent themselves for it and the only way they think they can get off the hook of liking them is if they create a negative image of the woman they like. He wants you to sleep with someone else and tell him about it to know that it is actually strictly sex between you two and nothing more, and that this situations is strictly for fun and not to develop into anything serious.

Dealing With His Feelings

Confronting him about it usually leads to nowhere, because he will most likely deny having feelings for you that are beyond the bedroom. A great way to find out exactly if it is a jealousy thing is by seeing how he reacts if the next time you are doing an MMF threesome, that you shw particularly more affection during the sex to the second male. Really push the boundaries and get hot with the second male and see if your main fuck buddy will show signs of jealousy by trying to outcompete the other male. Once you see the signs, do not push it way over the limit because he may really flip out, but make sure to pick up on anything that would make you think that he really is into you more than just for the sex.

If you do not notice any signs of jealousy or extreme attachment to you, then that means he most likely does want you start sleeping with other men just because he may fear that it is you who is getting attached. So this act of you seeing another man would just give him the opportunity he needs to get out of the fuck buddy relationship you have and refocus his priorities and desires.

Nonetheless, if he is showing sins of jealousy then you may want to create a little bit of a distance between you and him. If that isn’t a choice then you should again remind him that you are into this just for fun and there cannot be anything beyond the bedroom relationship that you currently have. I would put my money on the fact that he is starting to like you more than a fuck buddy simply because he mentioned that he does not feel it ‘right’ to have other fuck buddyies yet he encourages you to have others. He seems like he is extremely torn apart with this current relationship you have, and though he is loving it, he is at the same time in desperation towards the fact that he knows it is strictly a fuck buddy relationship. And even though he may be getting more attached, he may want an out just because of the contradiction between the reality of the situation and the emotions he has developed. After you try what I suggested with the MMF threesome, you may want to give him a hint that you need some space for yourself and your husband, unless of course you realize that it is he who is the one who may want to distance himself because he may be feeling that he may have gotten himself deeper than he wanted. Either way, I think some distance is necessary just because of the mixed up emotions and desires he currently is going through. Who knows, maybe after a short break he will regain the understanding that you only share a fuck buddy relationship and you can resume what you had when you just started out.


  • S. Michelle said:

    Robby G I could not agree with you MORE!!! I think you totally hit the nail on the head!!! I bet he probably thinks he’s the best and needs confirmation. Probably a needy boy! I wish you all the best in trying to keep him just your fuck buddy! Maybe you should try to not be so damn amazing! I hope the spell is reverseable! Best of luck to you!!!

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @S. Michelle: Love your comment! It’s a good point, that if he can’t handle the fact that she is too amazing then it’s his problem. Unfortunately, usually the spell is irreversable, but he should just be happy with the great situation he has gotten himself into instead of pushing towards destroying it.

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  • Jessica said:

    Robby, thanks for replying so quickly! I appreciate your advice so much. I was thinking along the same lines as you already, but wanted confirmation. It’s hard to determine if I’m looking too much into his behavior or if he is in fact, acting strange. I wanted a male perspective on the situation.

    I will try your suggestions and definitely update with the results. Would you recommend telling him if/when another fuck buddy or one night stand arises or not?

    One last question, what is your perspective on ‘fuck buddy’ vs ‘the other woman’? Do you see it as being the same thing or two different things entirely?

    Reply to Comment

    Robby G Reply:

    @Jessica: I’d suggest to actually tell him and read his reaction. Be cautious in the fact that it may actually put an end to the relationship you share with him, but he shouldn’t ask for what he can’t handle. And I think it would actually help him relax a little, knowing that you aren’t just pulling at his chain, but are genuinely only interested in the sex.
    Essentially, a fuck buddy and “the other woman” should be viewed the same, unless of course there are certain elements that make the man want the other woman for purposes other than just fun and sex. These are all just words, so what is truly important is the person’s desires behind these labels. Someone may say they are a fuck buddy but may have goals to make a relationship out of them, so therefore the label wouldn’t suit the aim. So it is crucial to understand what the other partner is aiming to accomplish with the relationship rather than trusting the labels they put on them. Again, thanks for your questions and would love to hear an update.

    Reply to Comment

    Jessica Reply:

    Hey Robby, I just wanted to update you and let you know you were 100% accurate.

    I decided to finally just confront him and he told me he loves me and wants more but knows that he can’t have it. It’s making everything a struggle for him, he can’t focus at home and he feels so torn and guilty. Therefore, we need to not do this anymore.

    He says he can’t have me walk out of his life completely. That I am one of his best friends and he cares about me so much and he wants me to continue to be his friend.

    I don’t know how that is going to work, but I guess it’s worth a try.

    Thank you again, for all your advice, you were so right on the money with this situation. I appreciate your help.

    Reply to Comment

  • Melisa Peveto said:

    Not to offend anyone, but I really go for using spells or any magic potions when it comes to love. Love itself is magic. It is something that can’t be explained behind any logical reasons.

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