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Nice Girls Finish Last

18 June 2011 One Comment

Hi Robby 🙂 I met a guy last year through work.I was a care assistant and
was looking after his dad who was very poorly. At the time when we meet, he
was still grieving over the loss of his ex girlfriend, had just got a new
job miles away from where we were both living at the time. However, he said
that immediately he knew that he felt something for me and me for him. We
went on dates, got on well, despite my being so nervous, have been on
weekends away, hug, kiss and have sex and anyone who didn’t know us any
better would think we were a couple. Saying this, he has become increasingly
busy with his new job and I feel that we’ve grown further apart with the
distance. He’ll now only send me brief texts and not make the same effort
as he used too. I really miss the person that he used to be. A lot has
happened since we first met, his dad passed away, his ex girlfriend got
engaged, all of which I have helped him get through. It seems now that he
now only sends me texts to meet up to have sex. I say yes because I really
want to see him and like being that close to him but I feel that he is only
taking me for granted and i’m being used now. I want to feel that the
relationship is in my court and i’m somewhat in control but I just don’t
know how?!

I think that you may have been too nice with him from the start. I understand that he had problems with his ex and the whole thing that happened with his father, but your sensitivity has allowed him to exploit it. The fact that he is calling you over only when he wants to have sex is reason enough for you to realize that he is using you only for sex. You need to tell him directly that you are not interested in seeing him if it’s only for sex. Also, if he’s getting used to you then he will not want to miss the opportunity to take things to the next level with you. I’ve been in situations myself where the girl I was seeing was more like a fuck buddy than a girlfriend, and when she said that she doesn’t want to meet if it’s only to come back to my place and have sex, I began to take her out on dates and we became a real couple. I had become so used to her that I didn’t want to lose her, so when she told me that she wanted more out of the relationship, I was up for it. The problem is, I did not know that she wanted more until she brought it up. I believed everything was going fine prior to her mentioning that she wanted a relationship. So I believe that it could even be that he does not know that you are interested in more than being his fuck buddy, that is why he isn’t taking you out on dates and the like. Convey to him what you want and see what he thinks about it. If he is totally not into you then he will tell you that he isn’t interested in a relationship right now, which would mean that he just doesn’t see a future with you and is only interested in sex; If however he has some interest in you then he will give it a go and will treat you more like a girlfriend. Most importantly, you should allow him to get used to you and then he will not want to risk ruining things between you. If he feels that you are a part of his life and someone that he doesn’t just want to see on the side but would like to spend a lot of time with then he will not mess things up. So talk to him and see how things go. And if he does say that he rather not want to take things further and isn’t into relationships at the time, then at least you see that you have been wasting your time with him.

One Comment »

  • Abiola said:

    Yes give it to him

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