One Night Stand with Prospects
So last weekend I went out to a bar with my friends. I sat down beside my
friend and noticed the cute guy beside me. He immediately introduced himself
and we hit it off right away. We had a bunch of mutual friends so I felt
comfortable talking to him. He ended up buying me a couple drinks and we hit
the dance floor. I went home with him that night and it was the best sex
I’ve ever had – completely blew my mind. I knew it was only like this
because he is a TOTAL player (has a reputation of it). I was planning on
sneaking away when he fell asleep but as I was waiting I ended up falling
asleep too. My alarm awoke us in the morning and I told him I had to leave
and go to work. We ended up lying in bed and talking for over an hour. Which
completely surprised me! Usually I am always the one doing the talking with
guys and this was a total relief! He was funny, confident, and smart too.
When I said I finally had to go he started making out with me begging me not
to go to work. I just told him no and got up and put my clothes on. As I was
about to leave he asked me for my number. So I gave it to him but didn’t
take his… I just told him he could text me with his. I was planning on
waiting for him to talk to me, but as I was at work I realized I left my
necklace at his place (which has been in my family for years!). So I added
him on facebook and messaged him. I just asked if he had found it and then
made a flirtatious remark about his dance moves the night before. He
messaged me back saying he had found it and asked when i could get it…
also in a flirtatious way. So i told him just to let me know when he’s home
and I will come pick it up.
He hasn’t messaged me back or texted me (this was a couple days ago). And I
really want my necklace back, but I also want to play hard-to-get. Because
the more I think about him the more I kind of like him. I’m also in a sort
of fuck buddy relationship right now too and I’m getting sick of it. I want
the real thing. And I really like this guy… I just know he’s a player.
I’ve never liked a player before and I don’t know how to handle it. If I go
over to get my necklace what should I do?
Should I messaged him again or wait til he says something?
Since he is a player, you should approach it as a pro as well. I think that since he is a player and he got to sleeping with you on the first night, he may view you as someone not too hard to get already, so you will have to play it smooth the next time you see him. Instead of texting him, call him this time and if he answers then tell him that you need to pick up your necklace from him. Suggest that you can pick it up from his place or if he wants you can meet him someplace that night for drinks and he can bring it there. This way you will be able to see his real intentions. If he says it’s best that you just come over to get it, then he is more than likely expecting that you come in and you guys repeat the sex again. Knowing this, however, you can say that you will pick it up right before work and then be on your way and that you won’t have time to “hang out”. If he replies telling you that he will return it to you when you meet for drinks then you can play that hard-to-get type girl by not actually giving him the satisfaction of sleeping with you after the drinks. He will definitely expect it, but avoid it if you want him to take you seriously.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t answer your call then either leave a quick message asking him to call you back or wait another day and text message him to call you when he can.
Day of the Date
Photo by RodrigoFaveraWhen you finally get around to picking up your necklace on that set date then you should try to get him to take you to somewhere more formal than the bedroom. If you’re out at the bar together, don’t get too drunk and act a little distant. Do not be as flirtatious as he expects you to be and play a cool game. If he says something that is not completely hilarious then just smile and act a little bit bored. Not completely bored out of your mind, but just a little so he picks up on the subtlety of it. You mentioned that he is very confident, and slowly breaking down a player’s confidence is something that will make him question his own charm. Basically, this will require you to outplay him by making him feel enchanted by you and see a new type of mystery to you that he may have missed that last time you shared the one night stand. By the end of the night, make an excuse so you don’t have to sleep with him that night and go on your separate ways, and do not act desperate, expecting to hear from him things like, “I had a great night, we should do this again sometime.” Keep in mind that it is he who is lucky to be able to take you out that night and that he isn’t anything special. Take the next few days easy and he will most likely text message you 3 or so days later about setting up another date or just to see how you’re doing. Do not reply to that message, and he will either call you that night or the one after. Again, do not reply, but when it comes closer to the weekend, send him a text sounding enthusiastic with a few exclamation marks (!!) in the text, saying something like “Hey!! I’ve been well.. U? XX” Basically, try to make it sound fun and flirtatious so he gets mixed ideas about what you really want from him. The next date should lock him in and you should ask him if he’s interested in you and if he wants to try dating steadily. By then you should have captivated his intrigue and you’ll get your initial one night stand to want to date you.