Friends with Benefits »

[7 Jul 2011 | No Comment | ]

hey Rob

Love the advice you give. I too have a fuck-buddy relationship. I really
like this guy alot and i think i intitially blew my chances of having a
relationship with him…as it was my idea to have a fuck-buddy relationship.
anyway the situation now is that i have feelings for him and dont know if i
should tell him how i feel. i dont want to lose him in anyway, but also dont
want to lose the potential of having a full on relationship. the last time
we hooked up he told me about his ex and why they broke up and why it is so
hard for him to have a relationship and that he wont go out looking for
love, it has to come find him… is that his way of telling me that he’s
ready for a relationship??? for the past 18months that we’ve been seeing
each other i always sleep over at his place and he leaves for work and i let
myself out, so obviously he trusts me!? what is your view on this??? oh we
never used to kiss during the sex and the last time we actually did…

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Dating »

[18 Jun 2011 | One Comment | ]

Hi Robby 🙂 I met a guy last year through work.I was a care assistant and
was looking after his dad who was very poorly. At the time when we meet, he
was still grieving over the loss of his ex girlfriend, had just got a new
job miles away from where we were both living at the time. However, he said
that immediately he knew that he felt something for me and me for him. We
went on dates, got on well, despite my being so nervous, have been on
weekends away, hug, kiss and have sex and anyone who didn’t know us any
better would think we were a couple. Saying this, he has become increasingly
busy with his new job and I feel that we’ve grown further apart with the
distance. He’ll now only send me brief texts and not make the same effort
as he used too. I really miss the person that he used to be. A lot has
happened since we first met, his dad passed away, his ex girlfriend got
engaged, all of which I have helped him get through. It seems now that he
now only sends me texts to meet up to have sex. I say yes because I really
want to see him and like being that close to him but I feel that he is only
taking me for granted and i’m being used now. I want to feel that the
relationship is in my court and i’m somewhat in control but I just don’t
know how?!

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Dating, Relationship Tips »

[15 May 2011 | No Comment | ]

So me and this guy Matt met 3 years ago in college. We went on numerous
dates, he took me for dinner, coffee, movies, etc, I even met his mother
several times. After maybe 5 or 6 dates he never made a move on me and i
eventually started to date another guy for about a year. Last winter Matt
and I had 2 more dates, and still no move. Recently, I went to his house to “catch
up” and at last he asked me: Gaby can I ask u a question? yes Matt. Its like
really out of context, but i really want to kiss you, would that be okay? I
obviously said yes and before i knew it we were in his bedroom having the
best sex of my life. He is extremely “gifted” down there and knows how to
pleasure a woman. usually, we smoke a joint after sex and talk a bit. we
somehow bonded on the fact that relationships are bullshit and that what
other is sex. the sexual attraction is intense and We’ve been fucking several
times a week for 3 weeks now. Although, he often hugs me so tight during
sex, like every time he holds me in his arms and squeezes me. he kisses alot
and also likes to cuddle with me, point being we’re not just fucking, its
kinda romantic sex. Sorry for all the details but i need your help. So I
gave him oral pleasure three times out of mere generosity, and he has yet to
go down on me. yet, every time “we get together”, he bluntly yet subtly
asks me if i cud give him head like *cough* cough
* bbeeeejayy cough cough* he said he has a bad experience with a girl who
was very smelly down there.
anyway, i want him to go down on me. and also i am scared i might like him,
does he maybe like me since we went on several dates and i met his mom?
anyway.
hope u coud help me

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Friends with Benefits »

[29 Apr 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

Ok so I´ve had this fbuddy for a while, about 10 months. It started off as
just regular fbuddies and then it started getting a little more intense. We
would hang out in the same crowd.. and no one would no about us (except our
best friends) but we would always go home together. In public we would act
as friends however since I used to date a friend of his who still has
feelings for me and who wants all that drama? If we weren’t out at the same
places he would still come over to my place and we would have sex and he
started sleeping over all the time afterward and we´d cuddle and he´d
suddenly like hug me really tight in the middle of the night and become kind
of affectionate in a sweet way (while sleeping). We have this amazing sexual
connection and whenever we hang out it does end up in sex..it got kind of
addictive. But we also can talk and have fun hanging out.. That being said,
he is quite the player and would only text me on days he or I´d go out,
never on a monday or tuesday.. some of our friends knew about us but most
didn´t. This guy has serious trouble in talking about his feelings etc
which made it all the more difficult to confront him about anything.
Initially, I had told him we should just have fun, but things kind of
evolved and got more frequent and intense. Anyway, when we were out he´d
always be staring and checking up on me and what I was doing, if I flirted
with someone else quite a few times he left and said good luck you looked
like u were having a greaaat time I´m leaving” and comments like that.. I
tried not to act jealous and not be needy but that being said, I also had my
moments. I obviously care and like him. Sometimes I would text him on a
regular day asking what he was doing later and he wouldn´t always answer my
texts and everything seemed to suddenly be on his terms and only when he
wanted.. I´ve always been there for him and I´ve been really sweet and
good to him, always tried to show I care in some way without being clingy.
He knows I´m not seeing anyone else and that I cared about him. One time he
did something stupid and I called him on it and he got all spooked out and
kinda ran saying that we shouldn´t confuse things and then days later he
was apologizing to me and saying he was sorry and didn´t want to end
it..but he only got to doing this when he had had a few drinks cause the guy
can´t seem to express himself sober! (Drunk words are sober thoughts? I
don´t know) He NEVER talks about his feelings, but that´s the kind of
person he is he seems to have a hard time talking and can only say things in
texts. Since he had trouble talking about things I had absolutely no way of
telling how he felt.. I just know that he acted all possessive when he saw me
and that at the end of the day I was the one he always went home with. But
he always seemed to be kind of fighting his feelings, kind of trying to act
as if he didn´t care, I just didn’t know if he genuinely didn´t care or
if he too was getting a bit more involved than he intended, he didn´t
ever talk about other girls in front of me but that could have just been an
act. After all this time I got a bit sick of his attitude and the whole
kind of carelessness about everything, yes we were having a good time but I
wanted to feel cared about too.. So I told him that I was tired of his
attitude and the way he was handling things and that I wasn´t feeling that
great about it, and that I thought it really sucked that I was feeling as if
he didn´t care when he couldn’t even answer a simple text.. and that I
thought that we should just leave it as that cause I didn´t know how to
handle it anymore .. I was honest and I kind of wanted him to realize he was
being an ass and see if he cared. The guy didn´t answer anything and then
texts me a few days later saying I was right and that we should leave things
as they were before anyone got hurt. It´s like he could give a sh!@

So Robby G was this just strictly a fbuddy relationship and is he acting
accordingly and does it mean he just doesn´t care? Or wth? All I can
describe from him are contradictory signs. Not committing and being an ass
sometimes but at the same time the other stuff I mentioned. ugh, I dunno. I
want him to miss me and appreciate what he had cause I know I´m a good
thing and I don´t deserve to be taken for granted. There are a lot of guys
who wanna go out with me but stupidly I only care about this one. How to play
the player or in this matter, the fbuddy? lol. He always seems to have
control, and I know you can´t force someone to care about you.. but I
really Need some wise Robby G words.

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General Advice, Hooking Up »

[26 Apr 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

Hi, Robby. I’m in a bit of a mess right now. So, about a month ago I slept
with my good friend from work. We’ve been friends for almost 3 years. Well
he has a girlfriend and I know its wrong but i can’t seem to help the
attraction between us because we are so much alike and whatnot. Anyways,
just last night I was planning on hooking up with him after work and we were
texting. (I was drunk. I don’t know if he was) and I asked if he was coming
over. He said he’s with his buddy right now I said ok. He said ‘can I bring
him over? He hasn’t got any in a year’ I was so angry after he said that. I
quit texting. Then he sent me a text 2 hours later apologizing for not
coming over and for being with his friend. I don’t know what exactly to do
about this. I feel like he no longer respects me after we slept together. Am
I right or am I just overreacting? Please give me some advice. I don’t want
to end our friendship but I don’t feel like I should be talked to in that
manner. Thanks in advance.

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Friends with Benefits »

[20 Apr 2011 | One Comment | ]

Robby G, here I thought I would give it a shot and see if maybe you could help me
out. I’m in a friends with benefits relationship right now with a friend I
have known for just about 6 years now. We dated 2 years ago for a little
over 3 months and then he broke things off. We saw each other every once in
a while because we have mutual friends but we didn’t really talk anymore.
Then randomly on his birthday last August he sent me a text and we started
texting all the time for about a month and then at the end of October some
how we got talking about hooking up again with no strings attached. I was
totally down for it so we started hooking up and we still were texting
everyday. He backed off in December because “he felt like I was getting
attached” which wasn’t true, I hadn’t changed at all and I was fine with
things the way they were. So we stopped talking and we stopped hooking up
before Christmas. And then again randomly he started texting me again right
after Valentines day saying he missed how much “fun” we used to have and how
he missed me. So we got together and talked things out and once again agreed
that we would be just friends with benefits (I know probably stupid but he’s
great in the sack so what’s a girl to do). We’ve been hooking up about every
other week because our schedules don’t allow much time for anything else. I
don’t really text him a lot because I don’t want a relationship right
now and I don’t want him to freak out like last time, but he texts me good
morning every morning and he text me during the day and then goodnight when
he goes to bed. And then the other day we both had a free night and so we
had talked about getting together a few days earlier, but then the day we
were going to get together he sent me a text in the afternoon asking if I
wanted to go to a movie before hand. I agreed because we are friends but
then he showed up at my house and came up to the door to get me, he paid for
the movie and then for dinner after even though I tried to pay for myself,
and he held my hand the whole time and then after we had sex that night we
usually don’t cuddle or anything because I feel like it isn’t a good idea,
he just curled up and pulled me next to him so ended up spooning and he kept
kissing my shoulder and stroking my face, playing with my hair and he wanted
to talk.
I just don’t know what’s going on. He just wants to be friends with benefits
but then he goes and does all of these things that are sending me mixed
signals. Does he want something more or am I reading too much in to this?

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Relationship Tips »

[10 Apr 2011 | No Comment | ]

I’ve been seeing a girl in my program and we are intimate, she wanted to
wait to have sex and that was a first for me. What it did was allow me to
see my insecurities I have with women, their flirting, not getting the same
levels of PDA shown to her guy friends. It allowed me to see i had sex with
girls in order to not deal with my problems as a man. I tend to approach
things by discussing them but there’s usually a heavy weight attached to it,
killing the fun and ruining the mood. We have great moments, passionate fun
and all the good stuff and now I seem to be stuck in a pattern of blowing up
the good times with some heavy talking till 2am, every other night. Which
isn’t fair to her or me. I see the road I have to take now, and am aware of
my insecurities. I wonder how I can be confident enough to trust, in her and
also in myself that i can just shrug things of like most other guys and not
worry so much and just have fun in the moment. “Let go” essentially of the
unimportant stuff. Pick my battle’s wisely and not make issues out of none
issues. I see what I have to do and where I should go as a man, but find
that I’m classically conditioned into this relationship pattern I have set
from the start of serious talk every couple days. I’m running out of sorry’s
and I want to change and stand by her and be supportive. Even when I don’t
get what I want all the time. I feel the need for her to reassure me that
yes she flirts with others but goes home with me…is that all the security
I need? A rub on the back or kiss would do all that in a second, but i don’t
get that in public cause she’s shy and in fact her guy friends get more
attention than me. She too has told me some of her insecurities, she’s not
sure why she can’t show me the same levels of attention in public setting,
and said she’s gonna work on it. Also that she doesn’t want anyone else but
me and wonders why I can’t see that.
I feel like I just need to chill, be more Sympathetic, embrace her good
traits and not so good ones and accept her for who she is, fully. Share more
of my good side instead of letting my internal judges rule the situation, or
my emotions. For example: she blew a kiss to a guy at a show we were at some
one she knows I have insecurity’s about. She blew the kiss right beside me,
not thinking it was anything, she saw the look on my face and got upset with
me. I don’t get them, but i do get all the stuff other guys don’t from her,
including her heart. Maybe I just need to relax and be confident and take
security in that…? That’s what all my friends are telling me, is this
true?

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