Dating, General Advice »

[31 Mar 2011 | No Comment | ]

I am not one for asking for help but here goes.

In some ways I am looking for structure and a way of finding myself a good

I recently have became divorced because my wife and I no longer found each
other attractive enough to make love to each other.

In her attempt to communicate that the confusion began for all sorts of
reasons but the end result is that I have linked my lack of direction to all
sorts of ideas, compatible girl, woman in my life. This is why I decided to

What do you think would be the best possible way of ending this drought in
my life?

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Breaking Up »

[27 Mar 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

I wrote to you a few months ago about my FB situation. All has been well

He came over twice in a month recently (with a two week break in between)
which is far more frequent than usual. I sent a light hearted text the day
after his last visit to which he replied that he had decided he could no
longer do this and could no longer cheat on his partner.

Given that he has a few FBs, has been cheating on his partner for over ten
years with random one night stands as well as FBs, has ‘ended’ it with me in
the past (but never because of his conscience) and returned on both
occasions, does this message mean its really over this time?

I respect his wishes but is this him feeling guilty, him wanting to end
things with me specifically (versus cheating in general), or a real sign
that his conscience has kicked in?

If it is a guilty moment, does that mean I just need to give him time before
he comes back?

Also, do I need to reply to him and say I understand and respect his wishes
entirely or just leave it?

I just want to understand if this is another yo-yo moment for him or if its
really over?

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Friends with Benefits »

[24 Mar 2011 | No Comment | ]

I bumped into an old flame that I had not seen or spoken to in over 15
years. We started chatting with each other over the phone for about two
months before I invited him over. I learned that he was married with the
typical story about being unsatisfied sexually and that his marriage lacks
passion. I had just gotten out of a three year relationship that ended
horribly and was looking for a little companionship and sex. I had my
reservations about sexing a married man, but we both eventually got past
that as well as the issue of karma. The sex is great, so great that I love
calling out his name. He loves kissing me and tells me so all the time. He
likes holding my hands and staring into my eyes when we have sex. He’s very
sweet and polite, and just makes me feel warm and good when I’m with him.
Sometimes we cuddle, and he always holds my hand when I walk him to the door
at night; and he can’t stop kissing me before he leaves. I don’t call or
text him often. I like my space and I’m the very opposite of clingy. And
sometimes I make myself unavailable. And I noticed that when I do this, he
makes himself more available to me. We’ve been hooking up for nearly two
months. But recently, we went three weeks without sexing each other. And
when I finally made plans with him again, I told him I would call him when I
got home at seven and by 7:15 he was texting me asking, “Where are you”?
I got a good laugh out of that. It was like he couldn’t wait to get here.
Plus, I noticed that he stays a little longer now after the sex, watching
movies and chatting. He talks about his kids and his wife sometimes. But he
keeps it lite. But occasionally he will surprise me by talking about
something serious or meaningful to him. But the rules are: no excessive
talking about the wifey in my domicile. And my body isn’t a drive through;
you must put in time to mentally engage me after you sex me. And he adheres
to both with no objection. He also shows concern for my welfare and safety.
He’s even agreed to make some minor repairs around my house, and with it
being winter time, he some times shovels the snow from in front of my house
before he leaves. I guess what I want to know is does this guy like me
outside of our fuck buddy arrangement? We’ve never taken ourselves out of
the bedroom/house, but we recently had breakfast at a restaurant to
celebrate my birthday and he gave me a nice gift. His birthday was a few
weeks before mine, and although I didn’t get a chance to see him on his
birthday, I bought him something small and inexpensive that just made him
smile, hug me, and he kissed me to death before he even opened the gift.
I’m clear on what this is and what this isn’t. He’s not my man. And I
play my role accordingly. But I do let him know through subtle ways that I
dig him, but not in a way that says leave your family and be with me. I
would love to know what your take is on this. Is this man really into me? Or
does he just dig the sex like I do?

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Friends with Benefits »

[20 Mar 2011 | 6 Comments | ]

I don’t even know where to start..i just found your website about fuck buddies
and its great and all but I really need your advice on this. I have a fuck
buddy but it didn’t start out that way I ended up meeting him through a
friend and he asked for my number. So one night he texted me and we ended up
hanging out and then the next and the next just getting to know each
other. Then we ended up having sex. We still hung out after but always ended
up having sex. And then it became more or less like when I needed sex or he did
we would just call or text each other being straight forward saying “I’m
horny, come over” and i didn’t mean for it to turn out that way nor do I want
it that way but this dude has a child which comes with a baby
mother. When we get together he will sit down we will talk about whatever
happened that day and slowly get into it, sometimes we will have sex and he
will leave right after but then there are times where we will hang out for a
few hours touching, feeling, cuddling, flirting, talking, and if i have anything
on my mind that i believe was fucked up or rude for him to say i will tell
him and he will respond to it. So i was wondering if you think this guy
cares for me at all because I am totally confused because he will act jealous
sometimes or ask what i did the night before since he wasn’t able to come or
even text me saying “fuck you I’m all set, go have fun with %^$&* ” i didn’t
want it to turn out this way ’cause i am so attracted to him, hes a cool ass
dude and enjoy his company. Also he is my only fuck buddy if he doesn’t
answer my call or isn’t around i don’t have sex and i saw that you should have
a rotation. Also could you give me some ways or sign that I can tell if he
even gives a fuck or if I’m strictly a fuck buddy.

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Dating »

[13 Mar 2011 | No Comment | ]

Okay, I’m in a situation that is really confusing-to me at least..and I’m
hoping you could help with it.

It all started about 3 months ago…I met some guy and when we decided to
meet-there was always his friend with him (he is the one i feel in love
with)..with who i felt a connection right away …anyway that first guy was
kinda rude and all that and we stopped talking. But I did start talking with
his friend more often and then we start seeing each other…( the thing
with me is I haven’t been with a boy (in any way) since last relationship-bad
experience – and well that lasted for two years) and when i start seeing
this guy it was all I wanted in a guy..-but he wasn’t in my “plan”-i
planned to go to USA this February to some guy who I’ve known for a year and
a half and when i started seeing this guy i kinda feel bad about it
cause of that guy in USA so we just decided to be “fuck buddies”-though he said
he would easily fall in love with me etc. He called me those cute nicknames
and stuff…and after sex we stayed and talked for hours…he was sending me
messages 24/7-it was almost like we were together but he said at a time he
doesn’t want to ruin the relationship we’re having with all the normal couples
anyway lately I’ve noticed how I feel more than I should towards
him-actually I fell in love….and i asked him if maybe i have a chance with
him…and he said though I’m a great girl, hot, fun etc. he feels that we wouldn’t
make it in a relationship and that he doesn’t want to make me feel bad or
giving me false hope because he doesn’t feel the same way about me-so should i
just let him go or what? I’m confused and its just frustrating..but we still
see each other and everything…can you please give me an advice?

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Dating »

[7 Mar 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

okay let me just warn you, this will get long ):
so i met this guy while i was still in school, we would text and hang out in
school we would flirt a lot. The first time i went over to his place we
ended up having sex (he was my first and he knows it). everything was good
after we kept on talking and he would tell me that he wanted to be my
boyfriend that we just had to get to know each other because we both wanted
something serious. after a couple of weeks i don’t even remember what happened
anymore and we got into a fight and we stopped talking (we had only had sex
that one time), when he tried talking to me again i lied and i told him that
i had a boyfriend by then but he was persistent and kept on talking to me
(like everyday) so after a couple of weeks he convinced me and i went over to
his house and we had sex again (this was with him thinking that i had a
boyfriend). this same process has been going on for about a year now; we
start talking but i tell him i have a boyfriend he still convinces me to go
over and we have sex, just that we don’t really talk much we just have sex he
always tells me that he wants something serious and that’s why he convinces
but right after were done he’ll start acting weird like distant like he
doesn’t care and we get into a fight and we stop talking and after a couple
of weeks the same thing happens again. We’ve never been out on a date,
nothing the only times i see him is to have sex. We do text a lot like
everyday and he tells me that i am somebody that he would love to be with
someday and i have feelings for him like really strong. He’s the only guy i’ve
been with. He didn’t know this tho he thought that i would be intimate with
all the “boyfriends” I’ve had and one time we were fighting he told me that i
didn’t know what i wanted that i was just going around this pissed me off and
i told him that he was the only guy id been with and it was hard for him to
believe but i guess he finally did and he started talking to me again and
told me that he wanted something serious with me this time (this is what he
always tells me) i told him okay after a little begging from his part i went
over to his house like two days after and he had sex i came back home and
right away he was different. After a couple of days of this and i was tired
of him i asked him why he was being weird and he told me not to start again
and we got into a fight and were not talking again. (this was last week).
i really don’t know what to do i know I’m obsessed with him because i know hes
just lying to me and everybody that knows my story tells me hes just playing
me but i want him i don’t even look at other guys at all its just him. we’ve
never even gone out i don’t know any of his friends, but i do think
he likes me at least a little bit because once he wanted me to stay in his
house until his parents got there so he could introduce me to them but i
freaked out and i just left his house (this was a reason for one of our many
fights). he knows what to say to get me back and what to say to get into a
fight and stop talking. please tell me do i have a chance at all and if not
PLEASE tell me what to do so i can get him to commit to me I’ve tried so many
things and different ways but we always end up getting into a fight. and if
he is just playing me why does he keep on doing it??? this has been going on
for over a year! he assures me tho that he doesn’t have sex with anybody else
and i kind of believe him because this happens every couple of weeks when
he’s horny. i know i sound ridiculous but i really want to make him my
boyfriend. thank you and please let me know if you need any more details.
hope you can help me.

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Hooking Up »

[26 Feb 2011 | 2 Comments | ]

I met this guy online and when he asked what I was looking for I told him
right away that I was looking for a long term fuckbuddy relationship. We
flirted a bit, I didn’t hear from him for a month then he asked if he could
send me a penis pic. I said sure and I must admit I was intrigued because
he is well endowed. We discussed about meeting up but nothing ever happened.
I then would send him sporadic e-mails, he would take a week to answer and
claims to be busy with work. OK, so I get he is not into me but then starts
sending me flirty e-mails but seems to be all talk. So I finally sent him an
e-mail reiterating that I am looking for a fuckbuddy not an online
relationship and to stop bullshiting or leave me alone. Doubt he will
respond. I am very upfront, not into games and just want no strings attached
sexual relationship. I thought this was every man’s dream. What gives? Do
men want to play games, have women lie to them, pretend to be chased, etc?

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