I hope you are well and remember me from my previous plee for help!
Well, after things ended with the previous guy, I went on holiday and when I
came back I met a lovely guy called Ryan on an online dating site. We had
spoken briefly in October last year, but he suddenly stopped talking to me
and I assumed he wasn’t interested. When we met up in May this year, he
explained it was because things had started up again with his ex-girlfriend
but that things were definitely over now.
The thing with this ex-gf is that they went out for 3 years and he loved her
a lot. They broke up because she’s very religious and traditional she was
afraid to tell her parents about him, because they would not approve of
He told me when we first started going out in May that he only spoke to her
occasionally, to see how she was etc. Which I thought was fine because I am
friends with Ex-bfs.
We have now been together for just three months and he recently went on
holiday on the otherside of the world for 3 weeks. During this time we
texted every day and I missed him a lot. When he came back, we went on a
romantic weekend getaway. Everything was great until the second day when I
stupidly decided to read the texts on his phone. I feel so ashamed of what I
did, and I don’t know why I did it in the first place.
I found all these texts between him and his ex-gf… as recently as a few
days before our weekend break. Even after we had started our relationship he
was texting her to say he still loved her and missed her very much and
hadn’t forgotten his time with her. She is quite unresponsive in her texts,
but they have been caling each other a couple of times since him and i
started going out. In the last message, he had found out that she is now
engaged to be married to someone her parents have set her up with, and he
said it “hit him like a tonn of bricks all over again”. She said his text
made her heart flutter and that she wished him all best in the future.
My heart feels heavy and I am so sad. How could he have been with me so
openly (we have met each others friends, we go on dates, he tells me he’s so
glad to have met me) when all the while he is still in love with his ex, and
telling her so?
I really do like him, and the funny thing is I can actually feel myself
falling in love with him. However, after this episode, I don’t know whether
to let the issue go because the ex is getting married and he can’t have her, or
to bring it up with him because I couldn’t bare him just being with me
because he can’t be with her.
I hope you can help me Robby and provide me with some of your advice.