General Advice »

[5 Jul 2010 | One Comment | ]

I read your article about why men lead us on, and it does make sense.
However I just had a situation that nothing I read covers. I met a really
nice guy online, we had a lot in common, and he kept saying how excited he
was that we got along so well. We’d spend nights watching movies online
together, sharing music and all sorts of mushy stuff. Of course I was
getting into him. We finally went out on a date a few weeks later – we were
both nervous and told each other so. I was attracted to him, but had no clue
if he was into me. He kept his gentleman stature so I had no idea how to
read him. We hung out for 9 hours that day… had dinner, went shopping, saw
a band. He dropped me off at home, we said we had fun, and good night. As
soon as I got into my apartment, he texted me saying that he had fun and
wanted to go out again – he wanted to say that in the car but got “flustered
by the first date goodnight”. I said yes I’d love to go out again. For the
next week, each day we talked less and less and didn’t have another date.
But he would tell me he wanted to go to a movie or dinner soon. I wouldn’t
stalk or hound him – I never went into scary girl mode. After a week of not
hearing from him, I texted saying I hoped he was doing fine. He wrote back
saying that he wasn’t sure he could be more than friends, and didn’t know
how to tell me without hurting my feelings. My question is this: is there a
reason men will lie about being interested when there’s no benefit? He
clearly wasn’t into hanging out just for sex – we didn’t even kiss. Yet he
said immediately he wanted to go out again and lead me on for two weeks
before telling me this. Why put that extra effort in? Is there a reason? Or
does this only happen when they’ve found someone else they’re more into? Any
answers appreciated!

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Breaking Up »

[1 Jul 2010 | No Comment | ]

I left my boyfriend a year ago and i can not get him out of my head, and i
know why but i dont understant what i need to do to forget about him. We
were together almost a year and I left him cause he was just not right for
me. Before i left him he bought me a dog that i still have and he told me
that this makes us a family and i now i should probably just get rid of the
dog and that would help but i cant do that to the dog its unfair i just want
to get over him and i cant. Any advise will help!! Thanks!!

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Relationship Tips »

[27 Jun 2010 | 24 Comments | ]

I’ve been seeing this man for at least two months and it has been quite a
ride. He was observing me for almost a year then one night I was in his club
and gave him my number. I didn’t like him very much at first, as I knew he was
just a player. We began dating and after juggling with two other guys I
decided to give it a go with him. I didn’t want a serious relationship but he
was just like I wanted my man to be so I give in. At first we were great. But
then we were like mr & mrs smith and I broke up with him when I found out he
was messing around. Before that we sort of began to walk the path of just
fuck buddies he said, but then again why he always calls me and asks me
about my life even we are not seeing each other that day?
He still calls me and so on but says he doesn’t want a relationship.
Although I cried over him, we saw each other and had sex once again.
He always said he didn’t want a serious relationship with anyone and he
agreed to be in one with me because he liked me and the sex was amazing. I
said to him I wanted to be just fuck buddies and he obviously agreed. I don’t
know if I want to be as I was before I met him…a player and commitment
phobic. We both are like that, but I struggle with my female friends telling
me I should act like a girl not a boy and want a serious relationship. I want
him I guess to want me again for a serious relationship …to be like we were
in the beggining.. how can I do that? Should I play with him some mind games?
He used to say the one for him would have to make him wonder and know how to
play him. I thought I knew, but he said I wasn’t that good..he could had me
figure out. I want to win the battle and him being the prize…

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Friends with Benefits »

[24 Jun 2010 | No Comment | ]

i have been seeing this guy once a week for about 12 months. He has always
said its casual he doesnt want a relationship. He broke it off with his gf
about 4 months ago.The relationship before her was a very serious one he
asked her to marry him etc but she ended it with him leaving him a complete
wreck. So he’s very warey of relationships. He has shown signs of jealousy but
also says i should see other men but if i do i will always fantasize about
him and he gurantees the sex will never be the same as it is with us. We text
all day every day and i complained once that i would like to see him more
than once a week, a bit of a threat really so now he sees me twice a week. Its
gone from the odd working day to seeing me at weekends as well. I also said i
think we should go out for a drink now and then as that has never happened
and he has said we will.Then the other day he told me he has nothing in
common with me and we’re not on the same wave lenth, what i would like to
know is, is he hiding his feelings from me or are we really just f buddies?
he knows how i feel about him and would like a relationship.But i find the
messages and signals confusing.

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Step Up Your Game »

[21 Jun 2010 | 3 Comments | ]

I really like this guy I work with. We went from flirting lightly to
flirting alot! He never asked me out though but always makes cute comments
and such. Background on him- he is very family oriented, only has been with
two girls, very shy, columbian and sooo hot! So finally after I give up on
the idea of us becoming anything a day later his cousin calls me (we all
work together) and asks me to go to the pool with the guy I like. They told
me he was too nervous to call me. So we had a blast and kinda did a few
things in the pool lol. He still doesnt ask me out after! A week later, I
hang out with him and his friends at the beach, we all go out to eat and we
play footsie under the table. The next day he finally texts me to hang out.
We go to his sisters and start kissing and stuff but then I had to leave but
he promised this would happen again. I see him at work and he starts talking
to me more and flirting more but he still hasn’t asked me out again. The next
day, we are eating lunch together after we were done working and he randomly
asks if I am into his friend that was at the beach the one day I was with
him. Now I am completely confused. I flirted with him the whole time that
day so why would he ask that! I got kinda mad and didn’t say bye so he
follows after me forcing me to say goodbye to him and I ask if he is trying
to hook me up with his friends? He says don’t be mad it was just a question,
winks and gets in his car. I haven’t texted him nor has he texted me since.
Why would he ask that knowing I obviously like him? So confused and kind of sad
because he is the first guy I have really liked since my last relationship a
year ago. Help please 🙂

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Friends with Benefits »

[20 Jun 2010 | 10 Comments | ]

For those of you who are off dating for a while and just want to have fun with a bunch of sexy ladies without having to commit to any of them, but still reap the benefits on a regular, fuck-buddies are right for you. When you have decided that you want to sleep around and not have any emotional attachment involved, there are certain ways you must treat these women that differs from how you would treat a woman that you want to be your girlfriend. For starters, people in general are quite clingy individuals who require communal affection and emotional dependence, but once you have overcome that barrier and are ready to enjoy sex with no strings attached, then you have to follow certain guidelines to make your fuck-buddy relationships a success, while at the same time not create more drama for yourself by having the girl end up liking you as a boyfriend. Read the rest of this entry »

Step Up Your Game »

[17 Jun 2010 | 4 Comments | ]

Hi Robby,
This is a pretty long story, so I’ll try and be as quick as I can.

So, I met this girl just before New Years Eve. She was a friend of a friend.
At first things were great. She wanted to spend time with me a lot, and I
think now this was because I wasn’t sure if I was interested in her. Because
I was still making my mind up and not always around she chased me. Anyway,
the tables turned and we spent a LOT of time together after I realised I
really liked her.

Then, out of the blue, she tells me that she doesn’t want a boyfriend,
because she’s 21 and been in two long relationships before, and now just
wants to be single. I kind of understood, but also I think I made the
mistake of being too needy and too readily available to do things, when
before I was always pretty busy. This pushed her further and further away,
now I look back. Really frustrating when originally it was her who was doing
the chasing!

So now, a couple of months down the line, we are at a strange situation,
where we see each other and spend time together and have sex, but whenever we
are in a social situation (we have many of the same friends) she goes out of
her way to ignore me or push me away. This is also annoying because whenever
she is feeling down I look after her, cook her dinner, let her stay at mine
etc.

Is she blowing hot and cold to hold power over me? To appear to everyone
else that she is single? Or is she basically just getting what she wants
from me and then dropping me when she’s had enough?

I’ve never had this problem before, I was always the one doing the playing,
and now the tables have turned I don’t know what to do to turn them back!

The main question I have Robby, is, how can I get this girl to change her
mind about me, and to do the chasing once again? She works in a bar and has
guys after her all the time, so I need something which will make her chase
me again, because she obviously still has feelings for me.

When the girl said she didn’t want a boyfriend and just wanted to see me
casually, she also mentioned that she wanted to sleep with other people
without feeling guilty.

I have found this really hard to deal with and even though I don’t know the
details I do know that she has slept with at least one other person since. I
think my jealousy about this makes me chase her more and worry about what she
is up to all the time. I must text her at least once a day.When the girl said she didn’t want a boyfriend and just wanted to see me
casually, she also mentioned that she wanted to sleep with other people
without feeling guilty.

I have found this really hard to deal with and even though I don’t know the
details I do know that she has slept with at least one other person since. I
think my jealousy about this make me chase her more and worry about what she
is up to all the time. I must text her at least once a day.

Thanks Robby!
GMan

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