Relationship Tips »

[29 May 2010 | No Comment | ]

Hello, I have read your advice for others and must say you are fantastic.

I have being seeing this guy for 4 months now. we met through a dating
website… we decided to just be friends but still have sex, we have also now
started working on a project together. A few weeks ago he decided to add me
to his ‘real facebook‘, where i found pictures of him and his ex.. this
really affected me and wrote ‘dissapointed’ in my statues, he instantly
texted me to check if had been him who had dissapointed me because of his
trust issues and because he had pictures of his ex, he reassured me they had
broken up nearly a year ago… i asked him if he had feelings for her an he
said he ‘still likes her a lot and had a lot of feelings for her, but they
will never be together again so i had nothing to worry about’ after this we
started texting each other more often but then met up and had sex, this was
very different from the other times, he was more caring and intimate.. but
after he finished he just started talking about the money we would make from
this project… I felt so used. After this I haven’t been able to connect
like before, I feel that he is always thinking of this other girl when with
me.. and this really fustrates me… this week he has randomly called me to
go to the cinema, but when he’s with me he spends half the time on his Blackberry, I
know he sells things through ebay and has to deal with this but it makes me
wonder if he’s texting other girls… he is a lot older than me and I’m 19 and
he’s 31… everytime we are together and don’t meet for sex we end up watching
movies but never kiss, he just kisses me when we say goodbye… i will be
going to south america where i live for my holidays and he has said he
would love to come visit me there.. i really like this guy but I’m not sure
if I should put effort into this, i have no idea how he feels. I sometimes
feel like just letting him know how awkward i feel when im with him and can’t
start a conversation with him but i dont have the guts and feel scared that
he will start to act weird after this… i really have no idea what to do…
please give me some advice..

Thank you Robby.

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Friends with Benefits »

[26 May 2010 | One Comment | ]

Your blog is fascinating.. and you’re such an adorable boy to be so
knowledgable in controlling your sexual desires from emotions. I was hoping
you could give me some male’s perspective on my particular situation.

I met this man about 4 yrs ago.. He pursued me for about a month, and after
we had sex for the first time.. We became FWB. He followed the rules but
broke many as time passed by. I don’t think it’s humanly possible for a man
and a woman to be intimate with each other for 4 years and never develop any
emotional connections. You see, even though we were FWB; because our time
we have seen each other change, we’ve been there for each other through dark
moments, we’ve seen each other go through painful experiences.. and even now,
I still have butterflies whenever I see him walk through my door. It’s
funny, that I could sense him struggle with himself to be binded to this FWB
rules, and to just let things be between us. We would talk about our lives,
we would share tender moments, dark secrets, fears, love — throughout the
night. We would sleep holding each other, and when morning comes we were
back into our single lives.. we were each other’s confident.. and we never
left the bedroom. He was very good at keeping this as it is, but there is
no doubt that he loves me.. Just whenever I bring up the issue of actually
being in a relationship – he shuts down. Or whenever he wants to spice
things up, he’ll disappear for a while until I threatened to end this
strange agreement.. and there were many times which I’ve had. Somehow we’ve
managed to always end up together. No matter how mean I was to him, or how
much I’ve insulted his ego or how much he’s hurt me and vice versa; we
always end up back together.. I never understood why he wouldn’t just let me
go if he didn’t want a relationship, he always came back.. But he is like a
rock. Whenever we’d get too emotionally attached to each other, or for one
moment he’d let himself be too emotionally deep with me, he would pull
himself all the way back.. and when he gained his composure, he would return
for more.. and our cycle continues.. Even though I love him very much, I’m
getting extremely tired of this arrangment, it was fun for the first year,
but every year afterwards he would show up and things got to be deeper and
deeper.. I just hope that if this is all that it is.. i could finally just
end this for good.

Anyhow, sorry to give you such a long background. I just wanted to know
from a guy’s point of view.. What is up with this guy. Does he want me or
not.. Whenever the “talk” comes up, he runs and hides.. or am I just being
too stupid?

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Relationship Tips »

[24 May 2010 | 4 Comments | ]

Dear Robby G,

My boyfriend of 2+ years and I are still together. He basically moved out on
me, and now we live on opposite sides of the city. I recently became
interested in a guy I’ve known casually for a bit. At a recent function I
sensed he was way into me, so I gave him my number. He texted immediately &
wanted to meet. I thought his intentions were of the boyfriend variety. I
showed up at his place for “lunch.” Not so. He confirmed his intentions were
only casual, and that he still had a girlfriend and was intent on keeping it
that way. I hemmed & hawed for a moment, but wound up feeling slutty &
sleeping with him. I feel my current relationship is coming to an end, and
therefore justified it that way. Now I assume this will be an ongoing
fuckbuddy thing for an indeterminate amount of time. So, my biggest question
is: why do I seem to run into this situation often, where guys see me as the
“fun” girl & not the “marriage material” girl? I know I am fun &
adventerous….but I also want a husband & kids….the total package. Second
question: the first time my fb & I hooked up, he was totally stoked about
when he could see me again. This time, he didn’t say a word. I know I
shouldn’t be obsessing, but he still wants me right? Also, I give you
extreme credit for being so forthright in your blog. Neurotic girls like me
really appreciate it! Thank you.

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Relationship Tips »

[19 May 2010 | 5 Comments | ]

Help!!!! Ok here goes, I have been getting to know this guy for 6 months now.
He is in the army so I get to see him a few times a month depending when he
is back home. Since the day we met we ain’t stopped textin, more than often
he texts first, and always ending with gud night sweet dreams. When we meet
up it’s not just for sex. When we do have sex, the sex has now changed he is
even more considersate, intermate, kissing my lower back and legs, strokin
my hair. After we lie there him holding me, have random convo, making each
other laugh, telling me stories of work. We then get dressed to go down
stairs for a smoke we are there talking he holding me constanly kissing me
tucking his hands into top of my jeans, when we stop kissin he still
holds me. He kissed me on the forehead and still even more slow soft kissed
when he leaves. Then after he has gone 15-20 mins later he texts!
While he was in Afghanistan he was messaging me when he cud, which I wasn’t
expecting, then soon as he got home the constant texts started again. He met
me for a drink the morning after he was back. I wanted to go for a “ride” in
the car but he surprised me with the answer, I want our first time since me
being back to be good not a fumble in the back seat, do you mind if we wait!!
He tells me he likes me, sends me photo which he takes for me and that no
one else has seen, he says I’m addictive, when he thinks he has said
something wrong to me and I don’t text back he calls and gets worried!! He
goes back away for 6 months but already has plans to stay in contact when
away and see me when he gets back. Is this someone who has feelings for me?

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Relationship Tips »

[15 May 2010 | No Comment | ]

I have recently hooked back up with a friend who I’ve known for over 5
years. We had sex the first night after reconnecting. I’ve been out to a
restaurant and a drive in movie with him so far, but always as a double
date. If we go out he always has his friend and one his girlfriend’s with
us. I spend the night and he cuddles with me all night. He kissed me the
first night, but doesn’t much anymore. He pays for things, but doesn’t let
me play my music in his car or watch movies he thinks is stupid. We laugh,
talk and have a good time. He has told me that he doesn’t want a
relationship right now and does not want to go from “phase 1 to phase 5”. I
think we have since we had sex the first night, but he said he is referring
to emotionally. I don’t know if he is playing it cool with me or if he
simply just wants to fuck me. What do you think? If he does just want sex,
how can I play it cooler than him and keep him guessing and wanting more
without getting too involved?

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Friends with Benefits »

[14 May 2010 | 5 Comments | ]

Dear Robby,

I came across your blog cuz I’ve been googling ‘advice’.

Theres this guy I really like, I met him over a year ago & we kicked it off
instantly. But just as things were starting to get serious, he confessed
that he has a girlfriend already so I backed off cuz I didn’t wanna be with a guy
who’d cheat on his girlfriend.

Although I’ve to admit, I never really got over him even if I was seeing
other guys. I’d run into him occasionally cuz he lives near me & we both
hang out in the same places.

Recently I bumped into him again. To cut the story short, we hooked up even
if I’m well aware he’s still with his gf.

We only did it once, but we’d still call & text everyday. I think I’m getting
too attached cuz Im starting to miss him & I think I want something more.

I guess the question is, do guys fall for their fuck buddy? is there any
chance this’ll lead to something more? How do I make him fall?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

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Step Up Your Game »

[12 May 2010 | No Comment | ]

Hi Robby, I was hoping you could help me out…

Since about Christmas of 2009 I’ve been hooking up with the same guy. We’d
meet almost every day of the week, drink, have sex, and that was it. Around
the begining of February, we stopped drinking and started talking to fill
the void. We get along well, and have tons of inside jokes. He’d come over
to my house each night almost, we’d watch TV for a while, have sex, and goof
off for the rest of the night. I started to develop feelings for him, but I
didn’t have the guts to say so. I thought that if I did, he would leave
forever.

But in the middle of April, he left me waiting for him in the rain for two
hours…Because he was having sex with a girl in the back of his car, the
same car we’d been sitting in for months together. We both ended up crying,
and he said he’d rather have me than her. After that, I told him I couldn’t
have sex with him in his car anymore. Suprisingly, he stuck around. We’d
walk around near where I live and find things to do.
I asked about the girl, and he said that he didn’t really talk to her,
because her SIM card was broken.
Since then, we’ve had sex again. Things started to go back to normal until I
was about to get kicked out of school for a stupid mistake. If I got kicked
out, my parents would most likely kick me out of the house, and I might
never be able to see him. For the two days before I got kicked out, he came
over. We both cried and slept a lot…Holding hands, cuddling like always.

Things worked out, and I can still see him. But he dropped the L bomb. I
told him it was mutual, but I’m still unhappy with the situation. At any
point, he could be having sex with someone else, breaking my heart all over
again. I’ve been having trouble sleeping and eating because of the last
incident. I know he has every right to, and that I can’t say anything about
it.

My basic question is, do you think he wants something more than just a fuck
buddy? Do you think I should tell him that I can’t do it anymore if it will
only remain a simple hook up?

Thanks in advance…I hope you can help me!

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